You Did It Wrong

“Did you put mustard on my burger?” Mark asked indignantly. “That’s outrageous. Everyone knows that mustard goes on hot dogs and ketchup goes on hamburgers.”

Mark’s rebuke made Ellen shrink back in fear. “Please don’t hit me,” she begged, knowing how he can be when he’s in a rage.

“I’m not going to hit you, Ellen,” Mark said, “but we’ve been together for what, twenty years now? Yet you somehow refuse to abide by simple things you should know about me, like that I don’t put mustard on burgers.”

“I’m sorry,” Ellen said. “I forgot. I’ll fix you another burger with ketchup and no mustard. I didn’t mean to protagonize you.”

“The word your looking for is ‘antagonize,’ not protagonize,” Mark said, correcting his wife. “Are you too stupid to know the difference between a protagonist and an antagonist?”

“You know I never made it through matriculation at college,” Ellen said defensively, “but just because I didn’t go to college doesn’t mean I’m stupid.”

“Whatever you have to tell yourself, Ellen. So are you going to fix me another burger or not,” Mark said as he tossed the burger with mustard in the trash.

Written for these daily prompts: Ragtag Daily Prompt (mustard), Fandango’s One/Word Challenge (outrageous), The Daily Spur (shrink), My Vivid Blog (refuse), Word of the Day Challenge (protagonist), and E.M.’s Radom Word Prompt (matriculation). Artwork by Minjeong Kim.

19 thoughts on “You Did It Wrong

  1. Paula Light April 25, 2022 / 3:23 pm

    That’s a bit nuts. Mustard is fine on a burger. If she’d put ketchup on a hot dog though… 😡

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Gr8BigFun April 25, 2022 / 5:38 pm

    This arsehole ranks right up there with the small spiteful man in my #weekendwritingprompt post from yesterday.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Fandango April 25, 2022 / 6:38 pm

      Same guy, maybe.


  3. emkingston April 25, 2022 / 10:48 pm

    LOL Mark would have been making his own freakin’ burger after the first sentence 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Nope, Not Pam April 26, 2022 / 3:33 am

    I’d snot him. And there would be mustard on everything 😡

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Maria Michaela April 26, 2022 / 4:46 am

    One of these days, Ellen will be putting more than mustard on those burgers. I think poison would be a good combo…oops. Did I say that out loud? 😁

    Liked by 1 person

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