Friday Follies — Episode 10: Going Political

Jase, over at Proscenium, has this fun thing he calls Friday Follies where, each week he asks us to post “any kind of sign, flyer, ad, etc. that you may see posted or printed or whatever/wherever, that would, might, or might not, intentionally or unintentionally, be a mistake or could be interpreted the wrong way, misspelled, be a double entendre, or just outright hilarious.

The great news is that my entry for last Friday’s challenge, which you can see HERE, was awarded the coveted #FriYayFolliePro award, meaning Jase thought it earned the prize for hilarity, or something like that.

Can we make it two in a row? I kinda doubt it, since my entry for this week has a very subtle political overtone. Can you guess what it is?436FDE4C-E7EA-4D17-8DD8-98D0350C82EB.jpeg

Rory’s 12/28 Christmas Challenge

FBE2FBEF-27EE-4AA6-9C3C-3C433FF357A5Yes, it’s three days after Christmas, but Rory just won’t let it go. He keeps on doing these Blogger’s Christmas Challenges. Sheesh, Rory, time to move on.

What does Cinderella’s Fairy Godmother turn into a coach?

A 1961 Corvair Monza.

The German Christmas song Tannenbaum is translated into English as what?

“O Tennenbaum” is a song about a Jewish tailor by the name of Moise Tennenbaum who Santa Claus called when he ripped his red Santa suit one Christmas Eve. Since Tennenbaum was Jewish, he was the only tailor working at the North Pole that evening, so when Santa asked one of his elves who could repair his suit, the elf said, “Oh, Tennenbaum.” True story.

What is the name of the ocean current that appears every 5 to 8 years around Christmas off of the Pacific coast of South America?

It’s called Bali Hai and it was named after a song by that name from the Rogers & Hammerstein Broadway musical, “South Pacific.”

Which nickname for Hollywood sounds Christmassy?

Tinseltown.

According to the Bible, how did Mary get to Bethlehem ?

A pumpkin that Mary’s Fairy Godfather magically transformed into a beautiful coach.

British Children hang stockings up for Santa, what do Dutch children put out?

Wooden shoes.

If you were celebrating Uphellia after Christmas, where would you be?

I’m sorry, but this is a G-rated post and we don’t discuss performing uphellia on these pages. Shame on you for asking. That said, the answer is the bedroom.

If you were born on Christmas day, what would be your Zodiac sign?

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In the film ‘Die Hard 2’, which airport did the terrorist take over on Christmas Eve?

Dulles International.

Who stole Christmas from the town of Hooville?

A renegade Hooville vacuum cleaner.

In North America, which organization is always the first to spot that Santa is underway?

The National Rifle Association.

The dragon-slayer, St. George, was born in Cappodocia. In which modern day country is Cappodocia?

Portlandia.

What kind of net, found on many a Christmas tree in the Ukraine, is supposed to bring good luck?

A Netflix gift subscription.

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Definitive Proof

B9675BB6-2C0E-4FBF-803C-9357E9996021I’m now convinced more than ever that God does not exist. How do I know? Well, yesterday I bought five Mega Millions “quick pick” tickets, as I explained in THIS post. Since it was Christmas Day, I asked God to show me a sign that he/she/it exists. And what better sign of God’s existence could there be than God’s blessing me, an atheist, with the winning Mega Millions ticket. I even committed to God that I would abandon my long-held skepticism and start believing in him/her/it should I win.

Well, I now present you all with definitive proof that God does not exist. Not only did I not win the 321 million dollar jackpot, I didn’t win a goddam thing, not even two dollars. And if God did exist, wouldn’t this have been a golden opportunity to have made his/hers/its presence known? Of course it would have been.

But don’t fret, folks. I believe in second chances. So I’m going to buy five more ‘quick pick’ tickets for this Friday’s Mega Millions drawing, which is now estimated to be valued at around $350 million.

Come on, God. Take advantage of this once in a lifetime opportunity to show yourself. Show me the love, God! Show me the money!

A Christmas Miracle?

F0D82E45-2B94-4354-B003-A12CFBA700DFAs my wife and I were on our way home from walking our dog this Christmas morning, we passed our local convenience store. They sell Mega Millions lottery tickets there. The sign in the store window showed that the Mega Millions jackpot is up to $321 million and the next drawing is tonight.

I don’t usually buy lottery tickets. As a retire on a fixed income, and with my 401(k)retirement savings account haven taken a big hit over the past few weeks, buying lottery tickets is a frivolous expense with almost impossible odds of hitting the jackpot.

But when I saw the Mega Millions sign in the window, I said to my wife, “I’m going to splurge on five ‘quick pick’ tickets. After all, today is Christmas Day. Maybe we’ll experience a Christmas miracle, and one of my picks will be the big winner.”

So I walked into the convenience store, plunked $10 on the counter, and bought my five Mega Million picks. (And for another $5.00, a pint of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream for later).

I promise that should I win tonight’s Mega Million jackpot, I will start believing in Santa Claus again. Hell, I will even commit to believing in God. Because if I do win, that has to be a sign from above.

Do you hear me, God?

Friday Follies — Episode 9

Jase, over at Proscenium, has this weekly challenge he calls Friday Follies. The idea is to post “any kind of sign, flyer, ad, etc. that you may see posted or printed or whatever/wherever, that might or might not be, intentionally or unintentionally, a mistake or could be interpreted the wrong way, misspelled, be a double entendre, or is just outright hilarious.”

My entry for this week is a picture I took on my iPhone as I was walking my dog. I saw the two “USE CROSSWALK” signs at a road construction site. The sign were pointing toward one another, but neither was pointing to a crosswalk.

Well, I thought it was funny, anyway.

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