“I don’t mean to flaunt my skills,” Jack said, basking in the glory of his win, “but I really slayed you in our tennis match this morning.”
“Oh perish the thought that you’d be gracious about it,” Anna said, a distinct frost in her voice.
“Okay, let’s put it all on the table, Anna,” Jack said. “You’ve been a real bitch lately. You used to love my antics and my braggadocio, but now you seemed to have totally lost your sense of humor.”
“You want me to lay it all out for you, Jack?” Anna said, her eyes filling with tears. “You killed my sense of humor when you started messing around on me with Monica.”
“You know about that?” Jack asked, stunned.
“Oh Jack, you think you’re so smart and so sly, but you’re the prototypical narcissist. I’d have to have a mental malfunction to have missed the signs of your affair with that jezebel. Let me give you some advice, Jack. If you’re going to cheat on someone, make sure the person you’re cheating with doesn’t douse herself in cheap perfume when you’re seeing her. She’s such a whore.”
“How long have you known?”
“Pretty much since you started your dalliance a few months ago, but I figured it was just a one-nighter that guys with an ego like yours have. But you come home from work — or wherever you actually are — with her stench all over you two or three times a week. I’m not an idiot, Jack.”
“So what now, Anna?” Jack asked. “Are you going to divorce me?”
“Don’t be silly, Jack,” Anna said, a wry smile replacing her tears. “Your affair with that hussy is the best thing that’s happened in my life in years. When I realized it was more than a one-night-stand, I called and arranged to meet with her husband to let him know what our loving spouses were doing behind our backs. Did you know that he teaches tennis at the Westhaven Tennis Club? Frank and I immediately connected, and let me tell you, Jack, he is an Adonis who could not only whip your ass on the tennis court, but he makes you look like a total amateur between the sheets.”
Written for these daily prompts: Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (flaunt), The Daily Spur (match), Random Word Prompt (perish), Your Daily Word Prompt (frost), My Vivid Blog (table), Word of the Day Challenge (prototype), and Ragtag Daily Prompt (malfunction),