The nerve of some of these people. They come over to my home to visit me and they behave like barbarians. Did you hear that one guy who kept calling me “Toots.” How mortifying is that? And then his buddy calls out and wants to know when I’m going to perform a fan dance.

Just who do these idiots think I am? I happen to be the alpha male at this venue, but these humans are so stupid that just because I have this beautiful tale with these gorgeous iridescent feathers that I show off when I strut my stuff, they think I’m a female.

The last straw, though, was when some jerk called out, “Hey, Babe, come on and shake a tailfeather for me.” I jumped down off the railing and hopped over to that smug asshole and would have pecked the dumb sombitch to death had not my keeper intervened.

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Written for Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie Photo Challenge. Photo credit: Sarah Whiley.