SoCS — Which Came First

Fandango

Linda’s challenge for this week’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt is to answer the age-old question, which came first, the chicken or the egg?

I know the answer to this question. The egg came first. How do I know this? Well, at my local Safeway grocery store, when you walk in, the dairy section comes before the meat and poultry sections, so of course the eggs come first.

But seriously folks, for those of you who know your Bible, like I do, you know that on the sixth day, God created man and the animals. Not eggs, for crissake. It took years before God created the omelette.

But I digress. God created Adam and Adam complained that he was getting tired of masturbating all the time, so God took one of Adam’s ribs and abracadabra, God created Eve. And in his wisdom, God gave Eve tits, which Adam appreciated. But more to point, God gave Eve ovaries, which enabled her to generate eggs and to begat Cain and Abel. So first came humans and then came eggs.

Similarly, a horny rooster complained to God that he was lonely and needed a hen to peck him (a request the rooster later regretted) and so God created the chicken from the rooster’s wishbone. Again, God created the chicken, not the egg. So clearly, the chicken came first. End of story.

Now I need to go to Safeway and demand that they rearrange the store so that the chickens come before the eggs. Otherwise, Safeway will be out of compliance with the Bible and with God’s order of creation.

13 thoughts on “SoCS — Which Came First”

  2. AM June 29, 2024 / 6:29 am

    😂 loved it! Your humor is awesome. I’d love to see some more of it.

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  4. Richmond Road June 29, 2024 / 4:09 pm

    You’ve not noticed the similarities between chicken eggs and alien space vehicles?
    The fact is that chickens and eggs arrived simultaneously, bursting through the atmosphere and depositing themselves all over the globe, hence establishing civilisation as we know it. Quite early in the piece they hatched the idea of God as a way of explaining things to the mutants who became known as humans. Better adapted evolutionary life forms like ducks, giraffes and lettuces needed no such fairytale.

    Have another look at the US Presidential ‘debate’ and try to tell me this doesn’t make perfect sense.

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    • Fandango June 29, 2024 / 6:29 pm

      I’m afraid, after watching the debate (the debacle, actually), that NOTHING makes sense anymore.

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  5. Richmond Road June 29, 2024 / 6:54 pm

    The suggestion that Mr Biden evolved from chickens might come across as something of a slur against him. To suggest that Mr Trump evolved from chickens, of course, would be a terrible slight on poultry in general

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