The bus driver stopped the bus, pulled back the emergency brake and ran around to the back of the vehicle. “Monsieur, s’il vous plaît, arrêtez ce que vous faites. Vous ne pouvez pas faire monter cette vache dans ce bus. Ce n’est pas possible,” he yelled, waving his arms.
The man looked at the bus driver and said, “Do you speak any English. I don’t speak French.”
“Oui, yes, I speak English,” the bus driver said. “What do you think you are doing? You cannot put that cow on this bus. It is not allowed and it most certainly will not fit in that door. It is much too narrow.”
“But I must,” the man said. “I have to get this cow to the port.”
“Oh mon Dieu,” the bus driver said, “Tu dois être fou. Monsieur, it is physics. That cow is too wide to fit through that narrow door. You need to get a truck or something used to transport animals. The bus is for people. Remove that cow avant d’appeler la police.”
“You want me to get a bloody lorry?” the man complained as he was backing the cow off the bus. “You bloody French aren’t very hospitable or accommodating are you?”
Written for Melissa’s Fandango’s Flash Fiction Challenge. Image credit: Henri Roger-Viollet.
This, That, and the Other 
I never knew that you could speak French.
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I took two years of French in Jr. High School. Plus Google Translate! 😉
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Ah, no, google translate, c’est nul! Je déteste ça! 😉 Néanmoins, j’aime votre conte (et la photo qui l’accompagne).
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Rubbish, huh? Well, you get what you pay for, right? 🤣
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Quite. But to be honest – English/French/German – I keep being amazed at how good google tr. is (although try deepl for a change, it is definitely better and often gives alternative options). But the moment you add a language that’s not as common (for Western/Middle Europeans like me) it gets really bad. My students (Arabic speaking, or Dari/Farsi) come up with awful things, sometimes incomprehensible, sometimes even insulting.
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Haha — c’est impossible!!!
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Haha! Good French writing.
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When the bus driver said, “Oh mon Dieu,” I thought of Hercule Poirot right away 😁
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😏 It’s a good story.
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Thanks.
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I took four years of Spanish in high school (not my best years) and sadly have nothing to show for it. Google Translate works, too.😂 “Monsieur, it is physics.” that’s my favorite part.🐄
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Lol. I am imagining the scene now! A cow on a bus, lol! This story was great, Fandango!
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Thanks.
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