Weekend Writing Prompt — Aged

C3458EAC-8A05-4888-9E5F-CC89353451FCI’m like a classic automobile,

A wedge of aged cheese,

Or a bottle of vintage wine.

Okay, fine.

I’m an old fart.

(22 words)

BCCA1279-EAB7-473D-AE13-9DB7DFE231B1Written for Sammi Cox’s Weekend Writing Prompt, where we are challenged to write a poem or piece of prose using the word “vintage” in exactly 22 words. Image credit: Pixabay.

Twittering Tales — The Party

7A6FFF39-0315-4D5A-8573-662052ADC451Congratulations. Bob told me that you’re pregnant.

He told you? Dammit, I asked him not to say anything yet.

You know, sweetie, you shouldn’t be drinking wine in your condition.

My condition? OMG, sweetie, mind your own fucking business.

Things at the party went downhill from there.

(279 characters)

Written for this week’s Twittering Tales prompt from Kat Myrman. Photo credit: Lisa Fotios @ Pexels.com.

Three Line Tales — The Ouija Board

9AE3CB23-2284-48AE-85DB-055693B40966Winona was more than a little reluctant when her best friend, Anita, invited her to come over to her house to “play” with the Ouija board, but after much cajoling and teasing, she finally acquiesced.

Winona didn’t believe in spirits or ghosts or séances or that it was possible to communicate with the dead, and despite feeling it would be a waste of a good Saturday night, she knew how much her BFF was into that sort of nonsense.

Winona was sure that too many glasses of wine, coupled with that giant doobie she shared with Anita, caused the hallucinations that made her feel as if she was in the company of what appeared to be wispy, ghost-like figures standing around the rectangular table on which the Ouija board had been placed.

(132 words)

Written for this week’s Three Line Tales from Sonya. Photo credit: Ahmed Odeh at Unsplash.com.

Friday Fictioneers — That’s Amore

img_2417Arnold walked over to their hotel room window, pushed aside the sheer, lace curtain, and called out to his wife, “Honey, come see this view.”

Florence walked over to her husband. “It is beautiful, isn’t it. And the moon, oh my.”

Arnold suddenly started singing, using his best Dean Martin impression, “When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When the world seems to shine like you’ve had too much wine, that’s amore.”

“Arnie,” Florence smiled and said, “we have the moon and the wine.”

“Then I’d say it’s time for some amore.” Arnold said.

(100 words)

Written for Rochelle Wisoff-Fields’ Friday Fictioneers prompt. Photo credit: Gah Learner.

And here’s a bonus for those of you who are old enough to remember Dean Martin. Or for those of you who are too young to know who Dean Martin was.

Do As I Say, Not As I Do

6ACB6752-0C24-4DD1-AF33-E4F81FD50F82“Who are you to lecture us about pot, Mom?” Sam said.

“Yeah, Mom,” Rebecca added. “We know that you and Dad smoked grass, took quaaludes, and even dropped acid when you were young. We overheard you telling Uncle Larry and Aunt Marion about it.”

“And you both have a glass or two of wine at dinner almost every night,” Sam pointed out.

“Besides, now that grass is legal in our state, I heard Dad tell you that he bought some pot-infused gummies,” Rebecca added.

“Yes, and we also used to smoke cigarettes back then, too,” their mom said. “No one knew how bad cigarettes were for your health.”

“You’re deflecting, Mom,” Sam said. We’re talking about pot, not cigarettes.”

“And we’re talking about edibles, not smoking,” Rebecca pointed out.

“We were young and stupid back in the day. And you have to be 21 to purchase marijuana anyway. Your father and I are certainly not going to buy it for you.”

“So are you seriously throwing the old ‘do as I say, not as I do’ argument at us?” Sam asked.

“Someday you’ll have children of your own and then you’ll understand.”

“Gee, I’ve never heard that one before,” Rebecca said sarcastically. “What’s next? As long as you’re under our roof you’ll do as we say.”

“That’s exactly what I’m going to say,” their mom answered. “When you and your brother turn 21, Rebecca, you can do whatever you want to do, but in the meantime, you’ll do what your father and I tell you to do.”

“Too late, Mom,” Rebecca said. “We found those gummies Dad got and they’re just starting to kick in about now.”

“Okay fine,” their mother said. She went to the cabinet, found the gummies, and ate one. “Don’t tell your father when he gets home from work.”

Written for today’s one-word prompt, “lecture.”