Advice From Nextdoor

EEAB8B7D-DED0-4689-B117-5513D26B24CEI have this app on my iPhone called “Nextdoor.” According to its website, “Nextdoor is the best way to stay informed about what’s going on in your neighborhood — whether it’s finding a last-minute babysitter, planning a local event, or sharing safety tips. There are so many ways our neighbors can help us, we just need an easier way to connect with them.”

I’ve actually found out some interesting and useful things on the Nextdoor app. Like temporary road closures, new local restaurants opening up or old ones closing, crime reports, and some suggestions for who to call for what services.

But I have to admit that what I saw on Nextdoor the other day had to be the weirdest, possibly the sickest piece of advice I’ve ever seen. I swear this was actually posted on on the Nextdoor app. But to be honest, I don’t know if this posting was a legitimate one or a prank. I’m hoping it was a prank, but these days, you can never be sure.

Are you ready?CE018E16-9390-4744-BC71-6A767FE09664Okay, speaking about pets, and to lighten things up, since the above post, if you’re a pet owner, might freak you out, I also saw this picture posted on Nextdoor.AB904335-3644-4A81-B843-44A362E02CE2

Weird Words

865BA7A2-52BE-4AFF-A15F-71EB6B8520ADThings are getting pretty weird here in the blogosphere when you get tagged, as I did by Melanie, over at Sparks From a Combustible Mind, to write a post using a bunch of words I never heard of. The words she used were:

  • Argot
  • Blatherskite
  • Cryptozoology
  • Eye – Candy
  • Hoddy  – Noddy
  • Rawky

I think I’m supposed to select four of the words that Rory, over at A Guy Called Bloke, whose brainchild this nonsense is, assigned to her, replace two of them with two new words she assigned to me:

  • Scrud
  • Flibbertigibbet

And then I’m supposed to write a post continuing Melanie’s “call me buff” story using four of Melanie’s original six words plus the two new words she assigned to me.

After that, I’m supposed to tag another blogger to take my six weird words, throw out two, add the two new words I chose, and use the new set of six words to write their own post continuing the “call me buff” story that Melanie started.

Here’s what Melanie wrote:

I am beige. Therefore there is nothing notable about me whatever. I blend in well to everything around me and am often overlooked. Fortunately, I have the gift of blatherskite. Gift or curse is a better way to say that. And I’m not the most argute person to invite to your high brow wine and cheese parties. I can wax long and prosaically on Cryptozoology…particularly the now rare and perhaps extinct species called Humanus Intelligencius Common Sense-u-us; an off shoot to a once prolific and well regarded group, Humanus Intelligencius.   

Humanus Intelligencius was once mighty.   Its decline began when folks in general started worrying more about things that don’t matter, like where a comma is used – which is important but only in small dosages – than things that made sense, like enough food for everybody and honesty isn’t a dirty word. 

One engenders the deadly blank stare and furtive yawning if one over applies ones’ great love of trivial information. That leads, logically, to the off shoots like H.I. (or Humanus..oh you get it)  Incredibulus Dumb-Ass-u-Rs and ROIUS mutations.  Which in turn begat the now common Politicus Entitled Orange Skinn-u-us Moronicus, which has taken over much of the planet. Don’t look directly at those things, they aren’t eye-candy and may possibly render the incautious viewer blind. 

Still I’m no hoddy-noddy, I know enough to come in out of the rawky weather. And when my time is up? As it is now, I’ll bow out gracefully. Never fear! Someone will be along presently to continue this blather about words odd and mysterious. Because some of that? Is ALWAYS welcome, even if buff persons aren’t, naked or not.

And here’s my continuation.

“Oh scrud,” I said. “I can’t find my flibbertigibbet. I swear I had it right next to my blatherskite. I was planning to head to the beach today and gaze at all those eye-candy teenyboppers wearing their itsy-bitsy-teeny-weeny bikinis. But without my beige hoddy-noddy, I just don’t think I have the balls to show my face. It would just be too rawky of me. I might as well just appear in the buff.”

Okay, I’m going to tag Jim over at A Unique Title For Me to run with it. And the two replacement words I’m going to give him are:

  • orgulous
  • susurrous

Good luck Jim.

True or False or Just Plain Crazy?

Okay, this is really strange. Melanie over at Sparks From a Combustible Mind apparently tagged me to respond to the weirdest Q&A prompt I have yet to see. The rules for this craziness were concocted by Rory over at A Guy Called Bloke.

Now Rory is an idea guy and he posts some weird shit, but this one takes the cake. First of all, before you even answer the ten questions, you’re supposed to “nominate one blogger to answer the questions, but before you do, create two new questions of your own to replace two existing questions.”

But then it gets even weirder. His rules state that you’re suppose to answer the true or false questions the wrong way. “Don’t answer the questions the right way!” his rules state. And the questions are not just true or false questions. They’re true or false and prove it questions. Seriously, Rory? And thanks a lot for dragging me into this, Melanie. Sheesh!

Okay, well, here goes. But to be honest, I don’t know if my answers are true or false, but I’m bound and determined to prove them.

1. Camels store water in their humps? True or False & Prove It

My first inclination is to say “one hump or two,” but I will resist. The answer is false. Because camel humps bounce too much when they’re walking or trotting or running. So if they stored water in their humps, the jostling of the water stored there would have a carbonating effect, which could potentially cause their humps to explode like a shaken bottle of soda. Yeah, that’s the ticket.

2. Snakes only close their eyelids when they sleep? True or False & Prove It?

False. Snake eyes only open up when your shooting craps at a Vegas casino and you lose all the money you’d won earlier and your wife gets really pissed at you and won’t speak to you for days.B70D755E-724C-4594-A9FD-FB087ACD131E

3. The saber-toothed tiger (Smilodon) was exterminated by Neanderthal man? True or False & Prove It?

False. The saber-toothed tiger is not actually extinct. They just have better orthodontists.

4. Leonardo da Vinci employed hundreds of craftsmen to build his inventions? True or False & Prove It?

True. Leonardo da Vinci was the Steve Jobs of his day. His motto was “If you build it, they will come.”

5. The carpet python can hunt in complete darkness? True or False & Prove It?

False. You’re thinking of vampire bats.

6. Big Bertha was the nickname given to German zeppelins? True or False & Prove It?

False. Big Bertha was the nickname for a large German howitzer cannon that was named after the Marvel superhero.7D924EE9-196E-4CFD-B1C5-30EA1A84F210

7. In the 17th century, Wall Street was located on the border of a Dutch colony?  True or False & Prove It?

False, Wall Street was originally built along the border between the US and Mexico. It was paid for by Mexico and our current president campaigned on restoring Wall Street using the slogan “MWSGA,” for “Make Wall Street Great Again.”

8. Yeast must be added to the grapes to obtain alcohol?  True or False & Prove It?

True. It’s known as the yeast infection methodology and it’s why so many women work in grape vineyards.587E619D-370B-4318-BC0C-D3D6119C4293

9. Zeus is the male god behind Creation? True or False & Prove It?

False. Cecil B. DeMille was the god behind creation. He created some excellent, epic movies.796B6B44-CEA7-4DB0-A811-9FC59272FAFD

10. For a long time, milk was a luxury? True or False & Prove It?

True. But then Jack traded in his milk cow for some magic beans, after which magic beans became the new milk.

Melanie asked these two additional questions.

A)  On Good Friday in 1930, the BBC reported, “There is no news.” Instead, they played piano music. True or False & Prove It?

True. The BBC played Pharrell Williams’ song “Happy” for 24 straight hours. An unfortunate, unanticipated consequence of doing so was that the day set an all-time record for suicides in a 24 hour period.

B)  There really was a Captain Morgan. He was a Welsh pirate who later became the lieutenant governor of Jamaica. True or False & Prove It?

False. Captain Morgan was the original commander of Star Fleet’s USS Enterprise, but he was found drunk with an empty fifth of rum and was relieved of his command and replaced by Captain Kirk.9C51DB95-7DDE-46A1-9895-E33B490D901A.jpeg

Now it’s my turn to ask two additional questions.

1) “Truthiness” is the word Donald Trump coined to counter allegations that he’s a pathological liar. True or False & Prove It?

2) “Papa Doc” was the nickname given to Ernest Hemingway when he removed a harpoon from the fin of a great white whale. True or False & Prove It? 

This is open to anyone and everyone who is adventurous enough to wants to participate.

Rory’s Weird Questions; Fandango’s Even Weirder Answers

Rory, aka, A Guy Called Bloke, received two more nominations for the Sunshine Blogger Award and he gave my blog a shoutout as one of his “pay it forward” nominees. Thank you, Rory.

But Rory was also kind enough to give us each a “Nominee Exemption Card,” which means we can answer the questions he posed without having to nominate others. That said, anyone else who does want to answer Rory’s interesting questions should feel free to copy and paste the questions, but not my answers, which are protected by the plagiarism laws of the United States. Violators will be prosecuted to the fullest extent allowed!

What’s the most fun you have ever had without being under the influence of something or someone?

Downhill snow skiing at Taos in New Mexico.CA0619C1-7506-4614-B5CC-A07677E78823

What’s the most fun you have ever had without the obvious, naked?

Without being naked? Um, downhill snow skiing at Taos in New Mexico?D3F170F5-754C-4868-BA20-806F48118E47

What’s the most fun you have ever had while under the influence of something or someone?

Playing Hearts while under the influence of pot-infused gummy bears.70DFC77F-1624-41A6-A0AE-0CFDD603D4CC

What’s the stupidist question l have ever asked of you?

“What’s the stupidest question I have ever asked of you?”

What’s the question you want to answer but no one yet, even me, has not yet asked you?

“… but no one yet, even me, has not yet asked you?” I think that’s a double negative question with two “yets” contained in it. So my answer is that I have not yet not been asked a question that I have not yet been asked. I think.

What’s your suggestion for the Christmas Challenge?

How to get through Christmas without starting out the new year in serious debt. That’s my biggest Christmas challenge.

What is the craziest blog you have ever read, and l don’t mean mine?

Most of the blogs I have read have, at one point or another, bordered on kind of crazy. That’s why I read them.FF000659-2739-46A6-84A4-01B1EAC5F80F

What is the theory of what is?

It is what it is, isn’t it?

What is the color red when mixed with Tripping the Light Fantastic?

Usually it’s a traffic ticket for running a red light while tripping on bad acid.

What is the answer to the Dodo, like seriously why?

Do wah diddy diddy dum.

And finally, what is the answer to this riddle?

Hey diddle diddle the cat and the fiddle.0E55074F-7E7B-46C2-8385-BC879C031027



Some weird shit has been going on recently on WordPress. I’m getting a bunch of comments, most of which are being tagged as spam by Akismet, but a few are getting though, that simply say, “What?”

They all have a similar URL. It starts “” followed by three to five seemingly random letters, followed by “xyz.” And I’m getting between 10 to 20 such “What?” cooments a day.

Is anyone else getting these garbage comments?

Also, last night at around 10:30 or 11:00 pm PDT, I was unable to save a post I had just written. I got a message saying that my draft post could not be saved and when I went to check my draft folder, the message on my screen said my draft folder was empty. When I checked my published posts folder, it said that it, too, was empty. Egads!

I signed off of the WordPress app, shut down my iPhone, and then signed back onto my iPhone and to the WordPress app, but this time I couldn’t get anything…even my stats! I thought I had lost my whole blog.

I checked other apps: Facebook, my newsfeed, Google, iTunes. Everything but WordPress was functioning as usual.

I waited about 40 minutes and tried WordPress again — and everything was fine. The draft post I had been working on was there. So were all the others in my draft folder as were all of my published posts. And my stats were showing again. Phew!

So did any of you experience a WordPress outage for around 40 minutes last night or was it just me?