Standard Sub

Henry was watching the guy at Subway prepare his sandwich, a foot-long Italian BMT.

Henry was very particular about the way his sub sandwiches ought to be constructed. He watched carefully as his was being prepared. “More lettuce,” Henry demanded. “More olives, too.”

The sandwich maker glanced up at Henry but continued to work on the sub. When he had finished making the sandwich and was about to wrap it up, Henry told him to stop. Henry looked at the prepared sandwich and frowned. “This sub is substandard,” Henry said. “It’s definitely sub-par.”

“I’m sorry, sir,” the guy replied, “but this is our standard sub. I made it the standard way, but with extra lettuce and olives, as you requested.”

“Substandard!” Henry said in a very loud voice.

“Standard sub!” the guy behind the counter responded, in an equally loud voice.

“Who’s in charge here?” Henry demanded. “Where’s your supervisor?”

As if on queue, the supervisor emerged from the back of the store. He walked around to the front of the counter and confronted Henry. “My subordinate should not be subjected to such sub-optimal behavior from you. I submit to you, sir, that your sub sandwich meets all the standards of our sandwich shop. You must immediate cease this subjugation of my subordinate or I will require you to leave this Subway.

Henry hungrily eyed the sub sandwich. He was starving and, in a gesture of submission, he said, “Fine, I’ll take your substandard Subway sub sandwich.”

“It’s not substandard,” yelled the guy who had made the sandwich. “It’s a standard sub!”


This admittedly sub-par post was written for today’s one-word prompt, “substandard.”