Stump Speech

Yes!” Mack exclaimed, pumping both of his fists. “My extemporaneous speech went even better than I expected. I’m sure to get re-elected.”

“Your ex what speech?” a campaign aide asked.

“Extemporaneous,” Mack said. “You know, unrehearsed, spontaneous, off-the-cuff.”

“Oh right,” the aide said. “Yes, it was a sterling speech, sir. Very inspirational and energetic.”

“Hold on, Mack,” Ben, Mack’s campaign manager, said. “I don’t mean to burst your bubble, but your speech didn’t go over as well as you think it did. You made a couple of major gaffs that are likely to come back and bite you on your ass.”

“Sheesh, Ben, when did you become so strident?” Mack asked. “You know I can say anything, no matter how ludicrous, and make all kinds of gaffs and they’ll still love me. The voters are stupid. They don’t even listen to what I say as much as how I say it. So stop all of your fretting, Ben. When it comes to my re-election, just get ready to ink the deal.”

Written for these daily prompts: My Vivid Blog (yes), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (extemporaneous), The Daily Spur (elect), Word of the Day Challenge (sterling), E.M.’s Random Word Prompt (strident), and Ragtag Daily Prompt (ink). Photo credit:

My Political Platform

“My fellow Republicans, my political platform’s emphasis will be on promoting goodwill to one and all real Americans. No one, not even those wood-headed, woke, elitist, rich, and famous liberals, will treat true American patriots like a doormat and walk all over them. A princely sum will be spent on protecting the rights of the innocent unborn, on promoting family values and that marriage is between one man and one woman, on combating the attempts by those promoting the teaching of Critical Race Theory to make Christian white Americans feel guilty about their bigotry and racism, on fighting illegal or even legal voting by minorities, on banning books in schools that we believe corrupt the impressionable minds of our children, on strengthening the Second Amendment, on reducing the tax burden on large corporations and the wealthiest among us, and on packing the courts with conservative justices.

“My name is [fill in the blank with any Republican politician’s name] and I approve this message.”

This sarcastic post was written for these daily prompts: The Daily Spur (emphasis), My Vivid Blog (wood), Ragtag Daily Prompt (doormat), Word of the Day Challenge (princely), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (spent), and E.M’s Random Word Prompt (bigotry)

Fandango’s Flashback Friday — May 28th

Wouldn’t you like to expose your newer readers to some of your earlier posts that they might never have seen? Or remind your long term followers of posts that they might not remember? Each Friday I will publish a post I wrote on this exact date in a previous year.

How about you? Why don’t you reach back into your own archives and highlight a post that you wrote on this very date in a previous year? You can repost your Friday Flashback post on your blog and pingback to this post. Or you can just write a comment below with a link to the post you selected.

If you’ve been blogging for less than a year, go ahead and choose a post that you previously published on this day (the 28th) of any month within the past year and link to that post in a comment.

This was originally posted on May 28, 2018.

Happy Retirement


The retirement ceremony was brief. “In a appreciation of his forty years with Klemperer and Sons, I am pleased to give this engraved silver pocket watch to our retiring head of accounting, Harry Rhodes,” the eldest Klemperer son said.

The two dozen or so employees who were gathered in the large meeting room gave Harry a round of applause. One of them started a “speech! speech!” chant and a few others joined in, prompting Harry to stand up and say a few words.

“I don’t know what to say, and as most of you know, I’m usually not speechless,” Harry said, his quip generating a smattering of chuckles. He looked at the pocket watch George Klemperer has presented to him. “Just what a retiree needs, right? A watch. So that I’ll always know what time it is when what time it is doesn’t really matter all that much anymore.”

Harry took note of the awkward silence. “After forty years with the firm, all working in the accounting department, I’m finally hanging up my visor, pocket protector, and armband and retiring. It’s a good thing I figured out early in my career how to embezzle millions of dollars off the books just for this occasion.”

Again, an awkward silence. “I’m just joking,” Harry said. Then holding up his pocket watch, “I guess I’d better, um, watch what I say, eh?” This time his comment drew laughter and a round of applause.

Harry spent a few more minutes shaking hands and bidding his former coworkers farewell.

As he was leaving the office for the last time, Harry went over to his personal assistant of the past ten years. He winked at her, leaned over, and whispered in her ear, “I wasn’t joking.” Then he placed the pocket watch in her hand and said, “give this to your husband,” and kissed her on the cheek and told her goodbye.

Written for today’s one word prompt, “ceremony.”

Three Line Tales — Nailed It

He father told her she was a treasure and that she looked gorgeous in her cap and gown and that she should be so proud of herself.

Yet here she was, the school’s valedictorian, so nervous about the speech she was about to give in front of her fellow students, their parents, and the school’s faculty and staff, that she downed almost a whole bottle of water to keep her throat from closing up on her.

Praying that there would be no snafu, she walked up to the podium trying to appear as lackadaisical as she could, as if her commencement speech was no big deal, and when she was done giving her speech, she was thrilled by the standing ovation she received.

Written for Sonya’s Three Line Tales. Photo credit: MD Duran. Also for these daily prompts; MMA Storytime (treasure), Word of the Day Challenge (gorgeous), The Daily Spur (water), Your Daily Word Prompt (snafu), and Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (lackadaisical).

One-Liner Wednesday — A Helping Hand

“There are some days when we need a hand; there are other days when we’re called on to lend one. That is how we must be with one another.”

Joseph R. Biden, President of the United States from his Inaugural Day speech.

Written for Linda G. Hill’s One-Liner Wednesday prompt.