No More Secrets

B146DD40-1000-4519-AEA1-FC1EE5831545“I thought we agreed no more secrets,” Max said to his wife.

“I’m sorry I was late,” Ruth said as she walked into their home at nearly 11:30 at night. “I’m working on that big presentation for the board tomorrow and I lost track of the time.”

“You always come up with good excuses, Ruth,” Max said. “But there is no excuse this time. How about a little honesty for a change?”

“Max, I am not making up excuses and I am being honest with you. And as to secrets, well, Max, we all have secrets,” Ruth said. “I know there are things about you that you haven’t told me, things you think that you don’t share with me, feelings that you don’t express.”

“You know that’s not what I’m talking about, Ruth,” Max said. “I’m talking about your late nights at the firm, your meals at expensive restaurants, your out-of-town trips. No more secrets, remember?”

“I’m not keeping any secrets from you, Max. You know I have a high pressure, very demanding job,” Ruth said. “And it’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make for you, Max. I’m the one who makes enough money at the firm so that you can stay home and work on your novel and interact with all of your little blogging friends.”

“Yes, that’s true. You are the breadwinner,” Max admitted. “But that doesn’t give you carte blanche to run around on me.”

“What are you talking about, Max?” Ruth asked. “Are you accusing me of having an affair? How dare you?”

Max pulled out his smartphone and shoved it toward his wife. “No secrets, huh?” He said. “Then how do explain all of these photos the private detective I hired texted me tonight?”

“Max, I’m no fool,” Ruth said after scrolling through the pictures on Max’s smartphone. “I knew you were having me tailed and so I had all of these photos staged in order to give you fodder for your sexy adult novel.” Ruth gave Max a coquettish smile. “It’s my gift to you.”

“Oh I’m so sorry, Ruth, but I have been keeping a little secret from you, too,” Max said.

“You mean in addition to the one that you hired a private detective to spy on me?” Ruth asked. “What other secret, Max?”

“I decided to shift gears with my book and to write a murder mystery. I was looking for a good motive for the perpetrator, and these photos really help,” Max said, a smug smile on his face. “By the way, Ruth, I fixed you your favorite cocktail before you got home tonight. Drink up, my dear.”


Written for Rachel Poli’s Time To Write: Sentence Starter prompt, where the sentence is “I thought we agreed no more secrets.” And for the Three Things Challenge from The Haunted Wordsmith, where the three things are “sorry,” “late,” and “no excuse.”

Throwback Thursday — A Man of Mystery

IMG_2374I originally published this post on June 29th of last year. I thought that, since most of you were not readers of my blog back then, I’d repost it as part of what I’m dubbing “Throwback Thursday.” Enjoy.


 What, exactly, is a man of mystery?

I’ve heard that, for many women, a man with an air of mystery is quite alluring. They find him fascinating. They are intrigued, and perhaps even a little excited, by a man who seems to have something dark and hidden deep within him.

Something mysterious lurking just below the surface. Something a little dangerous. Something remarkably magnetic.

If you’re truly a man of mystery, women are challenged to figure out who you really are. Why you are so secretive, so aloof. What you are hiding. What deep, dark secrets are lurking within you.

Their curiosity piqued, they can’t help but gravitate toward you. They think about you, wonder about you. They find you hard to predict. They don’t know or understand your motivations. They want to know what makes you tick.

And it drives them nuts. Which makes you virtually irresistible to them. You become a real chick magnet.

I have never been mysterious, much less a chick magnet. I’m a what-you-see-is-what-you-get kind of a guy. I’m not hesitant to say what I’m thinking or feeling. I’m open and forthcoming about who I am: the good, the bad, and the occasionally indifferent.

But I was curious — you know, just for my own edification — how a man can achieve that mysterious air.

I tried to find an explanation, or at least a good description, of what it is that gives a man an air of mystery. I couldn’t find anything formal, but I did come across some rather amusing steps, which I’ve compiled below, that a man should follow if he wishes to become a man of mystery:

  1. Wear sunglasses at all times, even at night.
  2. Wear a fedora hat and a trench coat, preferably with the collar turned up.
  3. Carry dry ice around in your car so that whenever the situation presents itself you can appear out of a thick mist.
  4. Call your voicemail and mutter secretively about “the deal going down” and “Code Red.”
  5. Whenever you leave, say you’ve got to meet your “connection” and walk off in a random direction.
  6. If your name is spoken out loud in a public place, grab the offender and say, urgently, “Shhh, not here!”
  7. Instead of having your friends pick you up at your place, make them get you at the airport or bus station.
  8. Be sure to look around frequently, as if you may be being followed.
  9. Every few hours, shake your head and say, “Crazy life, man, crazy life.”

Okay, so based upon these simple-to-follow steps, all I have to do to cloak myself with an air of mystery is to dress the part and act really weird and paranoid.

I think I’ll pass.

A Man of Mystery

IMG_2374

What, exactly, is a man of mystery?

I’ve heard that, for many women, a man with an air of mystery is quite alluring. They find him fascinating. They are intrigued, and perhaps even a little excited, by a man who seems to have something dark and hidden within him.

Something mysterious is lurking just below the surface. Maybe even something a little dangerous. Something remarkably magnetic.

If you’re truly a man of mystery, women are challenged to figure out who you really are. Why are you so secretive, so aloof? What are you hiding? What deep, dark secrets are lurking within you?

Their curiosity piqued, they can’t help but gravitate toward you. They think about you, wonder about you. They find you hard to predict. They don’t know or understand your motivations. They can’t figure out what you’ll say or do next.

And it drives them nuts. Which makes you virtually irresistible to them. You become a real chick magnet.

I have never been mysterious, much less a chick magnet. I’m a what-you-see-is-what-you-get kind of a guy. I’m not hesitant to say what I think or to be open and forthcoming about who I am, including the good, the bad, and the occasionally indifferent.

But I was curious — you know, just for my own edification — how a man can achieve that mysterious air.

I tried to find an explanation, or at least a good description, of what it is that gives a man an air of mystery. I couldn’t find anything formal, but I did come across one rather amusing description containing nine steps a man should follow if he wishes to be a man of mystery.

  1. Wear sunglasses at all times, even at night.
  2. Wear a trench coat, preferably with the collar turned up.
  3. Carry dry ice around in your car so that whenever the situation presents itself you can appear out of a thick mist.
  4. Call your voicemail and mutter secretively about “the deal going down” and “Code Red.”
  5. Whenever you leave, say you’ve got to meet your “connection” and walk off in a random direction.
  6. If your name is spoken out loud in a public place, grab the offender and say, urgently, “Shhh, not here!”
  7. Instead of having your friends pick you up at your place, make them get you at the airport or bus station.
  8. Be sure to look around frequently, as if you may be being followed.
  9. Every few hours, shake your head and say, “Crazy life, man, crazy life.”

Okay, so based upon these simple-to-follow steps, all I have to do to cloak myself with an air of mystery and to become a chick magnet is to dress the part and act really strange and paranoid.

I think I’ll pass.


This post was in response to today’s WordPress Daily Prompt: Magnet.