Apple Pay

I was sitting at the kitchen table this morning, reading the newspaper, drinking coffee, and minding my own business. Suddenly my wife exclaimed, “Shit. You need to run to the grocery store. I need some fresh organic cranberries, a shallot, four pounds of Brussel sprouts, some fresh thyme, an organic orange, and unsalted butter.” Seems she had decided, at the last minute, to bring a side dish with us to the Thanksgiving dinner at my son’s home.

I wasn’t dressed, so I quickly slipped into a pair of jeans, put on my sneakers, grabbed my car keys, and drove to Safeway. I dutifully filled my cart with all the items on the list my wife gave me. I wheeled my cart to the checkout aisle and loaded my groceries onto the short conveyor belt as the cashier scanned each item.

When I reached for my wallet in my jean’s pocket, the cold, hard realization hit me that I had forgotten to bring it with me. I looked plaintively at the cashier. “I seem to have left my wallet at home,” I said.

She looked at me, saw my iPhone in my cart, and said “Give me your iPhone.” I shrugged and handed it to her. She looked at it for a second, handed it back to me and instructed me to tap on the icon on my screen that read Wallet.

I did as she instructed and this popped up on the screen:

Then she said, “Hold your phone up to the scanning device.” I did and in an instant, the word “Approved” showed up on the scanner’s screen.

“Cool!” I said.

“Here’s your receipt,” she said, handed me the paper that popped out of the register. “You’re good to go. Happy Thanksgiving.”

“Happy Thanksgiving to you, too.” I said.

When I got home, I said to my wife, “Guess what I learned how to do at the grocery store.”

Shopping for Seniors

FFA9A69A-4544-4D4D-AB5E-DE9BEA122622I went to my local Whole Foods Market this morning. The market opened an hour early for shoppers age 60 and above. I got there 15 minutes before the store opened and the line of old folks to get in already snaked around the corner. And yes, they checked our IDs before we could get inside the store. On the other hand, those in line were not practicing good social distancing.

The good news is that I was able to get everything on the list my wife put together for me. Well, everything except toilet paper, that is.

On the way home I stopped by Safeway, naively thinking that it may have had toilet paper. Of course, it didn’t.

And speaking about Safeway, I am pissed. I meant to write about this in yesterday’s Monday Peeve from Paula Light, but I forgot.

So why am I pissed at Safeway? Well, last Wednesday I went online and ordered a bunch of stuff for “drive-up and go.” The earliest scheduled pick up they gave me was Monday (yesterday) at 8 am, five days after I placed my online order. Seemed like a long time to wait, but these are strange times, right?

Then, on Sunday night, I got this voicemail message.

Hi, this is Patrick with Safeway Drive-Up and Go calling to notify you that your order has been cancelled. We’re sorry for any inconvenience. This is due to the overwhelming intake of orders we have been getting. If you have any questions, please feel free to call us at any time. Hope you have a goodnight. Goodbye.”

WTF, Safeway? I called the number back and asked why my order, made five days early, was canceled. The guy said they’ve been so swamped with orders that they randomly canceled a bunch of them.

“Randomly?” I asked. “Why not cancel the most recent orders and fulfill the older ones?”

“I don’t know,” the guy said. “We’re just doing what the big guys tell us to do.”

So yeah, I’m pissed at Safeway. Of course, they could make it up to me by delivering a few rolls of toilet paper.

Weekly Prompts — Photo Challenge — Line-up

The weekend’s photo challenge here on Weekly Prompts is “Line-up.” The challenge notes that there are lots of possibilities here: line em up and shoot em… photographs that is!

I was unsure of what to do for this prompt, as I am not a photographer and have no photographs of things lined up. I was feeling quite depressed about having nothing to use for this prompt. I decided that what I needed to overcome my profound depression was a pint of Ben & Jerry’s Stephen Colbert’s Americone Dream ice cream. That always makes me feel better.

So I walked to my local Safeway to pick up the ice cream. But guess what happened when I got there! It was very crowded with customers and there were very few cashiers. As a result…

drumroll please…

…people were lined up at the checkout lines.

And I took a picture…2BEDFB76-ECC1-4707-B2F7-C6A13E7BDC0F…of all the people lined up to pay for their groceries.

Booyah!