Name Three Things

453082F4-6449-4B88-B4F6-ADA0942B0938In a series of questions, Rory, over at A Guy Called Bloke, has challenged us to “name three things“ one might do in various scenarios. So, since I’m always up for a challenge, here are my three things…

that I can dunk in tea or coffee?

Doughnut, bagel, biscotti, but only in coffee. I don’t drink tea.

that I can enjoy at a carnival?

Funnel cake, cotton candy, rides.

that I can’t enjoy when it’s windy?

Depends upon how windy, but I’m going with tropical storm windy, in which case I’d say sailing, flying a kite, and skydiving. Actually, I wouldn’t even skydive were the wind speed at zero!

that my body can’t do?

My old body can’t run a marathon, bench press 300 pounds, or dance the night away. Okay, to be honest, my young body couldn’t do any of those three things either.

that I didn’t learn at school?

If we’re talking about pre-college, the my three things would be Spanish, calculus, or much of anything practical.

that I can put onto a pizza?

mushrooms, pepperoni, and onions.

that I can eat with?

My wife, my kids, and my friends. Or, alternatively, a knife, a fork, and a spoon.

that I don’t suggest doing these at home blindfolded?

Play darts, throw knives, and cook dinner.

that are important to me?

My wife, my kids, my dog and cat.

that I love to do at the beach?

Swim, read a book, play with my dog in the surf.

that I do in the morning?

Pee, check my iPhone, and drink a cup of coffee while reading the morning newspaper.

that I do every time I log in to my blog?

Check my stats, respond to comments on my posts, and read new posts in my reader. Eventually I get around to drafting some new posts.

True or False or Just Plain Crazy?

Okay, this is really strange. Melanie over at Sparks From a Combustible Mind apparently tagged me to respond to the weirdest Q&A prompt I have yet to see. The rules for this craziness were concocted by Rory over at A Guy Called Bloke.

Now Rory is an idea guy and he posts some weird shit, but this one takes the cake. First of all, before you even answer the ten questions, you’re supposed to “nominate one blogger to answer the questions, but before you do, create two new questions of your own to replace two existing questions.”

But then it gets even weirder. His rules state that you’re suppose to answer the true or false questions the wrong way. “Don’t answer the questions the right way!” his rules state. And the questions are not just true or false questions. They’re true or false and prove it questions. Seriously, Rory? And thanks a lot for dragging me into this, Melanie. Sheesh!

Okay, well, here goes. But to be honest, I don’t know if my answers are true or false, but I’m bound and determined to prove them.

1. Camels store water in their humps? True or False & Prove It

My first inclination is to say “one hump or two,” but I will resist. The answer is false. Because camel humps bounce too much when they’re walking or trotting or running. So if they stored water in their humps, the jostling of the water stored there would have a carbonating effect, which could potentially cause their humps to explode like a shaken bottle of soda. Yeah, that’s the ticket.

2. Snakes only close their eyelids when they sleep? True or False & Prove It?

False. Snake eyes only open up when your shooting craps at a Vegas casino and you lose all the money you’d won earlier and your wife gets really pissed at you and won’t speak to you for days.B70D755E-724C-4594-A9FD-FB087ACD131E

3. The saber-toothed tiger (Smilodon) was exterminated by Neanderthal man? True or False & Prove It?

False. The saber-toothed tiger is not actually extinct. They just have better orthodontists.

4. Leonardo da Vinci employed hundreds of craftsmen to build his inventions? True or False & Prove It?

True. Leonardo da Vinci was the Steve Jobs of his day. His motto was “If you build it, they will come.”

5. The carpet python can hunt in complete darkness? True or False & Prove It?

False. You’re thinking of vampire bats.

6. Big Bertha was the nickname given to German zeppelins? True or False & Prove It?

False. Big Bertha was the nickname for a large German howitzer cannon that was named after the Marvel superhero.7D924EE9-196E-4CFD-B1C5-30EA1A84F210

7. In the 17th century, Wall Street was located on the border of a Dutch colony?  True or False & Prove It?

False, Wall Street was originally built along the border between the US and Mexico. It was paid for by Mexico and our current president campaigned on restoring Wall Street using the slogan “MWSGA,” for “Make Wall Street Great Again.”

8. Yeast must be added to the grapes to obtain alcohol?  True or False & Prove It?

True. It’s known as the yeast infection methodology and it’s why so many women work in grape vineyards.587E619D-370B-4318-BC0C-D3D6119C4293

9. Zeus is the male god behind Creation? True or False & Prove It?

False. Cecil B. DeMille was the god behind creation. He created some excellent, epic movies.796B6B44-CEA7-4DB0-A811-9FC59272FAFD

10. For a long time, milk was a luxury? True or False & Prove It?

True. But then Jack traded in his milk cow for some magic beans, after which magic beans became the new milk.

Melanie asked these two additional questions.

A)  On Good Friday in 1930, the BBC reported, “There is no news.” Instead, they played piano music. True or False & Prove It?

True. The BBC played Pharrell Williams’ song “Happy” for 24 straight hours. An unfortunate, unanticipated consequence of doing so was that the day set an all-time record for suicides in a 24 hour period.

B)  There really was a Captain Morgan. He was a Welsh pirate who later became the lieutenant governor of Jamaica. True or False & Prove It?

False. Captain Morgan was the original commander of Star Fleet’s USS Enterprise, but he was found drunk with an empty fifth of rum and was relieved of his command and replaced by Captain Kirk.9C51DB95-7DDE-46A1-9895-E33B490D901A.jpeg

Now it’s my turn to ask two additional questions.

1) “Truthiness” is the word Donald Trump coined to counter allegations that he’s a pathological liar. True or False & Prove It?

2) “Papa Doc” was the nickname given to Ernest Hemingway when he removed a harpoon from the fin of a great white whale. True or False & Prove It? 

This is open to anyone and everyone who is adventurous enough to wants to participate.

Yes, Even More Q&A

Ursula, at An Upturned Soul, got nominated for the Liebster Award and she was kind enough to include my blog among her nominations. She wrote, “I’ve only just started following Fandango (that’s his real name, yes it is, just check out his Who Am I? on his blog… I think he’s a he, I’m never sure about these things especially online as gender was not something I thought about until someone at some point pointed out that I was this thing known as a she and even then it didn’t seem to matter… wtf am I talking about or more to the point what was I saying before I went off on this tangent), and I’ve noticed that he (I’m going with he) often borrows the questions in the blog award nominations posts of others, so I thought he should be given a blog award nomination of his own because I’d like to see what he does with it. He also is a Blogging Community supporter and does a Word of the Day. Thank you, Fandango, for Fandangoing!

First, thank you, Ursula, for the nomination and for your very kind words. Your gut, by the way, was right, I am a “he.” And thank you, too, for creating a new verb, “Fandangoing.” I love it.

Of course, all blog award nominations come with questions crafted by the recipient that he or she poses to his or her nominees. So here are Ursula’s questions and my answers.

  1. What question are you always hoping someone would ask you about yourself? What is it about you, Fandango, that makes you so brilliant?
  2. If you could come from anywhere in the world, where would that be and why? (And yes, you can say your actual place of origin if you’d like.) I’m a first generation American and I couldn’t be any more pleased than to have been born in the United States. Although with Donald Trump as president, I am thinking maybe Canada. 
  3. What always keeps happening to you? I keep changing lanes on the freeway to one that inevitably is slower than the one from which I just changed.ABDEE7DF-59E1-4E33-AD52-4023253AD6C8
  4. How would you describe yourself to someone who couldn’t see you and would see you as you wanted to be seen? Retired, old, liberal, proud, pragmatic, practical, thoughtful, provocative, and boring.
  5. Did you find what you were looking for? I’ll let you know when I find it.9B09451B-D188-4B89-B174-B1BD38BF4C04
  6. Does a person’s name influence the person they become? I don’t think I’d be a different person if I had a different name. Fandango suits me.
  7. Does a person’s blog name influence the blogger they become and the posts they write? My blog’s name “Fivedotoh.com,” reflects the fact that this is the fifth iteration of blogging for me. My blogging style has, of course, evolved since I first started blogging in 2005, but I don’t think the name of my blog has influenced my content. And, while “Fandango,” is my blogger name, as I blog anonymously, I used pseudonyms for all of my previous four blogs, although different pseudonyms.D6AFB530-AB93-44CC-A5EF-570C75C6B93A
  8. What is the question you always want to ask people but never do? I can’t think of any question I’ve never asked. Hmm. Maybe something like “How different are you in the real world from the person you present yourself to be on your blog?” 

Okay. Your turn.

Why the Hell Not?

DDBF18FE-616A-429B-BB61-79FC879ECA83I saw these 20 “short” questions on a post on Melanie’s Sparks From a Combustible Mind blog yesterday. She got them from here. And now I have them and I’m going to answer them. I mean, why the hell not? You should feel free to do so as well.

What’s the most dangerous situation you have ever been in? When I was sucker-pinched by a guy while on a blind date with a girl. Turns out he was a boyfriend she never told me about.


What’s your favorite culture? My own?


What do you dislike about your own culture? Right now, the divisiveness and mean-spirited nature that seems to have permeated our society.


Your favorite type of travel?  Time travel.3DA630C4-AB30-4E89-ADCE-B8E6B307877D


Do you feel understood? By whom? I don’t even understand myself, so I really don’t expect anyone else to understand me.


How do you feel about your body? With my hands and arms.05F6EE64-246C-4361-B3B3-18DB53C6D118


What is your favorite film? Mel Brooks’ “Young Frankenstein.”


Are you adventurous with food? At home, no. When I eat out at a restaurant, yes.


Have you ever hated a place and wanted to come home? Yes, when I was in army basic training at Fort Polk, Louisiana.0E81CB53-BBC3-45F7-BFCA-8FACB564D5B7


Are you bothered about others seeing you naked? Nah. I’m a closet exhibitionist (i.e., I can often be found naked in my closet).


Are you a good loser? It is what it is.


What was the favorite time of your life? Probably my twenties and thirties. Oh, and now.


Do you have a close family connection? Yes, to my close family members. Not so much with my extended family.


Can you speak another language? High school-level French.


Will Trump be in for another term? Bite your tongue.


What are your thoughts on English people? They arbitrarily add the letter “u” to words like “favourite” and “honour.” WTF?


Was life better without mobile phones? No. I like not having to be tethered to landline to make a call, to find a pay phone while not home, and to be tied to a computer to access the internet.


What has been the biggest change in your life? The scourge of 24 hour cable news networks.


Is climate change real? You bet your sweaty ass it’s real.


Why do you like answering questions? It’s fun.

Rory’s Weird Questions; Fandango’s Even Weirder Answers

Rory, aka, A Guy Called Bloke, received two more nominations for the Sunshine Blogger Award and he gave my blog a shoutout as one of his “pay it forward” nominees. Thank you, Rory.

But Rory was also kind enough to give us each a “Nominee Exemption Card,” which means we can answer the questions he posed without having to nominate others. That said, anyone else who does want to answer Rory’s interesting questions should feel free to copy and paste the questions, but not my answers, which are protected by the plagiarism laws of the United States. Violators will be prosecuted to the fullest extent allowed!

What’s the most fun you have ever had without being under the influence of something or someone?

Downhill snow skiing at Taos in New Mexico.CA0619C1-7506-4614-B5CC-A07677E78823

What’s the most fun you have ever had without the obvious, naked?

Without being naked? Um, downhill snow skiing at Taos in New Mexico?D3F170F5-754C-4868-BA20-806F48118E47

What’s the most fun you have ever had while under the influence of something or someone?

Playing Hearts while under the influence of pot-infused gummy bears.70DFC77F-1624-41A6-A0AE-0CFDD603D4CC

What’s the stupidist question l have ever asked of you?

“What’s the stupidest question I have ever asked of you?”

What’s the question you want to answer but no one yet, even me, has not yet asked you?

“… but no one yet, even me, has not yet asked you?” I think that’s a double negative question with two “yets” contained in it. So my answer is that I have not yet not been asked a question that I have not yet been asked. I think.

What’s your suggestion for the Christmas Challenge?

How to get through Christmas without starting out the new year in serious debt. That’s my biggest Christmas challenge.

What is the craziest blog you have ever read, and l don’t mean mine?

Most of the blogs I have read have, at one point or another, bordered on kind of crazy. That’s why I read them.FF000659-2739-46A6-84A4-01B1EAC5F80F

What is the theory of what is?

It is what it is, isn’t it?

What is the color red when mixed with Tripping the Light Fantastic?

Usually it’s a traffic ticket for running a red light while tripping on bad acid.

What is the answer to the Dodo, like seriously why?

Do wah diddy diddy dum.

And finally, what is the answer to this riddle?

Hey diddle diddle the cat and the fiddle.0E55074F-7E7B-46C2-8385-BC879C031027