More No Way/So Way

A63EA3F6-FBBF-4FA0-8358-3ABCDBF75EF2Rory, A Guy Called Bloke, has come up with yet another “Oh So Way/Oh No Way” post. It’s essentially a yes or no exercise where he makes a bunch of statements to which you respond with either “oh so way,” meaning “yeah, I’ve done that,” or “oh no way,” meaning “uh uh, not on a bet have I ever done that.”

So hear goes:

I have eaten snails — Oh so way! Yummy!

Received a speeding ticket — Oh so way, so way, and so way. I have a heavy foot.

Fallen asleep during an important meeting — Oh no way, but I did fall asleep in classes in college.

Sunbathed nude — Oh so way.

Taken part in a talent show. — Oh so way.

Worn Crocs — Oh no fucking way!

Screamed at a scary scene in a movie showhouse — Oh no way, but I did jump outta my seat a few times.

Been involved in a hit and run — Oh no way.

Been locked outside when naked — I’ve been outside and naked, but oh no way I was locked outside.

Been approached by a hooker — Oh so way. But I didn’t hook up.

Re–gifted a gift to someone else that I was gifted — Oh no way. At least not that I know of.

Fallen over something in the street while texting — Sadly, oh so way.

Fallen asleep on the toilet — Oh no way, but I did drop my iPhone in the toilet once.

Had sex in a tent — Oh so way.

Properly kissed someone of the same sex — Oh no way. I assume a fatherly kiss to one’s son is not what you’re referring to.

Surfed — Does body surfing count? If so, then oh so way.

Had sex on the first date — Oh so way. Mmm.

Holidayed in a nudist camp — Does going to a nude beach count? If yes, then oh so way.

No Way or So Way

4b37296c-ceaf-4c78-aaac-a83bb116c500Earlier this week, Rory, A Guy Called Bloke, introduced a game he first saw on “The Ellen Show” called “Never Have I Ever. I responded to his game with THIS post. Now he’s decided to do it again, but as he is wont to do, he’s changing it up again.

This time, instead of responding to his statements with either “I have” or “I have never,” he wants us to respond with either “Oh so way” or “Oh no way.”

Alrighty then. Here goes.

Injured myself while trying to impress someone.

Oh so way. Back in 1994, my family and I were on a camping vacation at Mount Rushmore. My son (he was 12 at the time) and I were shooting hoops at the campsite’s basketball court when two college girls came up and challenged us to a game of 2 on 2. My son threw a pass to me and as I was racing to the hoop for what was going to be an impressive dunk, I tore my Achilles’ tendon and fell down in a heap. The girls were quite impressed.

Pretended to be a raccoon and eaten from the trash can.

Oh no way. Although there may have been a time or two when I accidentally dropped something in the trash that I then fished out, brushed off, and ate.

Taken part in a fashion show.

Oh so way. Back in high school I had a part time job working in the men’s suits department at a local department store. One Saturday the store held a fashion show and I was asked to model men’s suits. That’s it, my one and only experience as a male model.cfa165bd-4c8a-423d-93ee-0015e928cc00

Made money by performing on the street.

Oh no way.

Accidentally broken something in someone’s house, but not told them.

Oh no way.

Walked for more than six hours.

Without stopping? Oh no way.

Stolen from a shop.

Oh so way. In high school I shoplifted a chameleon (lizard) from a pet store…and got caught.

Ridden a horse.

Oh so way. Mostly taking very tame horses on guided trail rides at national parks with my wife and kids.

Jumped out of a perfectly stable aircraft.

Not only oh no way, no fucking way. Are you kidding?

Cut my own hair.

Oh so way. I give myself a buzz cut with my beard/hair trimmer every week.d8a50b9d-034c-4112-8a59-d3dac9c04297

Performed my own dentistry.

Oh no way, unless you count yanking out some of my baby teeth when they were loose.

Fallen in love at first glance.

Oh so way…with the woman who is my wife.

Had a paranormal experience.

Oh no way. I don’t believe in ghosts.