3TC — Patriotic Outfit

8C682391-0999-44EC-BB16-0CDC30D19A5B“Oh, honey, that’s such an honor,” Martin’s mother said when he told her that he’d been picked to hold the flag at his third grade class assembly.

Anna’s excitement abated, though, when Martin told her that he wanted to wear his favorite long johns to the assembly. She didn’t say anything to Martin at the time, but when her husband, Mitch, came home from work, she told him about Martin’s request.

Mitch cracked up when Anna told him what Martin wanted to wear to the assembly. “I think we should let him,” he said, much to his wife’s horror.

“Are you serious?” Anna said. “There’s no way I’m going to let him wear those long johns outside, much less at a school assembly. And if you don’t back me on this, Mitch, we’re going to wind up having a major flap over it.”

“What is there to argue about, Anna?” Mitch asked. “I mean is there anything that would be more patriotic than the boy wearing his red MAGA long johns while holding up the Stars and Stripes?”

Written for Teresa’s Three Things Challenge where the three things are flap, long johns, and stripes.

Meet Him at the Café

DED35613-5BB7-47FB-90A3-3B5CA93B7D95“Your brother called,” my wife told me. “He asked me to tell you that he wants you to meet him at the café for breakfast tomorrow morning.”

“Oh jeez, did he say what he wanted?” I asked her, knowing full well that he didn’t.

“No, he didn’t, but he did say it’s important,” she said.

“With him, he says everything is important. He’s probably gonna try to hit me up for money again,” I said.

“Don’t you dare,” she said.

“Don’t worry, I won’t,” I said. “And I’ll tell you what,” I added, “if he’s wearing that goddam MAGA hat of his, I’m turning around and walking away.”

Written for Teresa’s Three Things Challenge, where the three things are brother, cafe, and  hat.

Taking a Stand

095CFE36-E681-4E3F-9A3B-3A026D760F41“I honestly can’t remember the last time I bought an American-made car,” Donny said.

“Well,” the car salesman said, “This is the best time to buy American. With all the new tariffs the president wants to impose, the price of foreign imports is going to skyrocket.”

“I know, but I’ve always felt that foreign cars are made with a higher quality than most domestic ones,” Donny said.

Oh, your Hondas and Toyotas are good cars,” the salesman said. “But so are our Chevys. We get really good ratings these days from J. D. Power and Consumer Reports. Our Malibu received the highest dependability rating.”

“Yeah, I saw that,” Donny said. “That’s why I’m here.”

“Plus,” the salesman said, “you’re being a good American. This is how Donald Trump is making America great again.”

At that point, Donny turned around and headed for the door. “Hey, where are you going?” the salesman called after him.

“I’m going across the street to the Honda place,” Donny said.

“What kind of American patriot are you?” the salesman said.

“Accords are built in Marysville, Ohio, asshole.”

Written for today’s one-word prompt, “foreign.”

The Christmas Bonus

“Whoa!” exclaimed Jamie after opening the envelop and looking at the check. “Is this all I’m getting?”

“I know it’s less than you expected,” said Jamie’s boss, Helen. “But this was a tough year. Sales were down and profits this year were meager.”

“But I made quota. In fact, I was almost ten percent above quota,” Jamie protested.

“That’s true,” Helen admitted. “You did exceed quota, but you’ve got a great territory. Outside of the Deep South and a few other isolated states, sales were way down.”

“And yet I’m being penalized with this pittance of a Christmas bonus because overall sales are off,” Jamie said. “That hardly seems fair.”

“Actually, you should consider yourself fortunate,” Helen said. “We’re letting go half of our sales staff. And most others aren’t getting any Christmas bonus at all.”

“So what is management doing to ensure that we have products that will sell well in 2018?” Jamie asked.

“Well,” answered Helen, “for starters, we’re dropping our Make America Great Again line of hats, t-shirts, and mugs.”

Image result for Make America Great Again hats

Written for today’s one-word prompt, “meager.”