SoCS — Clean Or Dirty?

4CDAB799-F45F-4771-BB1A-D90F15C6849BFor this week’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt from Linda G. Hill, we’ve been instructed to use the words “clean” and/or “dirty” in our posts. So here goes.

My wife gets tired of me asking her if the dishes in the dishwasher are clean or dirty. She reminds me that there’s a small red light on the door of the dishwasher that is labeled “clean” and if it’s lit up, the dishes are clean. If not, they’re dirty.

When I get dressed in the morning and pick out what casual shirt I want to wear that day, I will determine whether it’s clean enough to wear or if it’s dirty and needs to be washed by smelling the armpit. If it doesn’t smell too bad (i.e., doesn’t trigger my gag reflex), I deem the shirt to be clean. Otherwise, I toss it into the dirty laundry basket.

We have two cat litter boxes in our house, one upstairs and one downstairs. One of my chores is to periodically check both litter boxes. If they’re not clean, I need to scoop out the dirty litter from the litter box and replace it with a like amount of fresh, clean litter.

And as responsible dog owners, my wife and I carry poop bags with us when we take our dog out for her four daily walks. That way we can clean up her poops rather than, as some irresponsible dog owners do, just let their dog’s poop dirty up the sidewalk.

We also have double ovens in our kitchen, and when they get dirty with drippings and spilled crap, to clean them it’s a simple matter of pressing the button that activates the self-cleaning feature.

Okay, what else? Oh, I know. Dirty jokes or clean jokes. Dirty language or clean language. Dirty money or laundered (cleaned) money. Dirty politicians or clean politicians. Oh wait. Clean politicians? Yeah, right.

Anyway, you get the idea.

There’s a New Challenge in Town

A blogger I follow, whose blog is titled “Proscenium,” decided to create a new, weekly challenge called Friday Follies. The object of this challenge is to write a post showing “any kind of sign, flyer, ad, etc. that you may see posted or printed or whatever/wherever, that would, might, or might not be, intentionally or unintentionally, a mistake or could be interpreted the wrong way, misspelled, be a double entendre or just outright hilarious.”

I actually wrote a post in September 2017 titled “Speak American” that I believe meets the object of this challenge. So I’m going to repost it below. Enjoy.


IMG_2591

I love this photo on so many levels.

First, being the grammar and language pedant that I am, there’s the misuse of the word “your.” I don’t need to tell you that it should read “You’re in America.”

And, of course, there should be some punctuation between the first line and the second. A period, a colon, a semicolon. At the very least, a comma.

But it’s the irony of the message that is priceless. Telling someone to speak English because he or she happens to be in America and, while doing so, displaying a complete lack of mastery of the English language. How exquisite is that?

Gee, I wonder if whoever put that decal on the car window is able to speak the native tongue of any non-English speaking country he may visit.

“You’re in Mexico, gringo. Speak Mexican!”

“You’re in Canada, sir. Please speak Canadian, eh?”

Nah. That Yankees fan probably has never even been outside of the five boroughs of New York City. Well, maybe he’s been to New Jersey.

For or Against Cipation

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English is a weird language.

“Anti” is a prefix meaning “against,” “opposed to” or “opposite of.” It is mostly used in the formation of compound words or is used freely in combination with elements of any origin (anti-American, antisocial,  antibody, antifreeze antiknock).

So one would think that today’s WordPress one-word prompt, which is the word “anticipate,” would mean being opposed to cipate. The only problem is that the word “cipate” is not a real word in the English language.

It’s true. I Googled it. I looked it up in Dictionary.com. I even checked Wikipedia. There is no definition of the word “cipate” because there is no such word. There are words that end with “cipate” and words with “cipate” in them. But “cipate” is not a word. But cipate is not a word.

Besides, I’m a positive kind of a guy. I hate to be anti anything. Therefore, I am declaring here and now, for all the world to see, that I am procipate. Because whatever cipate is, I’m all for it.

Speak American

IMG_2591

I love this photo on so many levels.

First, being the grammar and language pedant that I am, there’s the misuse of the word “your.” I don’t need to tell you that it should read “You’re in America.”

And, of course, there should be some punctuation between the first line and the second. A period, a colon, a semicolon. At the very least, a comma.

But it’s the irony of the message that is priceless. Telling someone to speak English because he or she happens to be in America and, while doing so, displaying a complete lack of mastery of the English language. How exquisite is that?

Gee, I wonder if whoever put that decal on the car window is able to speak the native tongue of any non-English speaking country he may visit.

“You’re in Mexico, gringo. Speak Mexican!”

“You’re in Canada, sir. Please speak Canadian, eh?”

Nah. That Yankees fan probably has never even been outside of the five boroughs of New York City. Well, maybe he’s been to New Jersey.


Written for today’s one-word prompt, “priceless.”