Beyond Belief

5B0CBB3F-28DE-4AF2-9260-A41FD8AF4AD0Are you ready for this?

Christian televangelist Jim Bakker has preached to his flock that Donald Trump was not cheating with Stormy Daniels on his third wife shortly after she gave birth to his fifth child. Oh no. According to Bakker, Trump was merely scheduling private time with the woman in a hotel suite in order to share with her the good news of Jesus Christ. He was concerned that she was not a good Christian.

“It is preposterous to assert that a virtuous believer like Mr. Trump,” Bakker said, “would cheat on his beautiful wife so callously, and while their child was only months old.”

Bakker explained that Trump “was so concerned with the eternal state of Miss Daniels’ soul that he scheduled some alone time with just the two of them, so he could share with her how Jesus Christ had changed his life and how He could also save her from her sins.”

(According to Stormy on her “60 Minutes” interview, she spanked his ass with a copy of Forbes Magazine on which his picture was on the cover. No doubt that act alone saved her from her immoral ways. But I digress.)

Getting back to Bakker, he further claimed that the $130,000 payment Trump arranged to have his attorney give to Daniels was to help rescue her from the destructive adult film industry and to help get her life back on track. “What a man of God Donald Trump is,” Bakker asserted.

I suppose if you actually believe every word of the Bible to be the word of God, you will believe just about anything. Good news, huh?

After publishing this post, I have learned that the article upon which I based this post came from what I now know to be a satirical website and the story is a complete fabrication. I apologize for having passed on fake news.