One-Liner Wednesday


“A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.”

Comedian Steven Wright

Hmm. How many times did Jeff Sessions say “I can’t recall” at his confirmation hearings in 2017? So is he really the victim of a bad memory or is he just a liar with no conscience at all?

Written for Linda G. Hill’s One-Liner Wednesday prompt.

Religious “Liberty”

065CA47E-EFA0-42CF-BA7F-BD3179FCD47AAttorney General Jeff Sessions just announced the creation of a Religious Liberty Task Force that will “ensure that the Justice Department is prioritizing the rights of religious people and groups in its policies and legal battles.”

Acording to Sessions, there is “a dangerous movement” eroding religious liberties and that “we have gotten to the point where courts have held that morality cannot be a basis for law; where ministers are fearful to affirm, as they understand it, holy writ from the pulpit; and where one group can actively target religious groups by labeling them a ‘hate group’ on the basis of their sincerely held religious beliefs.”

So rejoice all you bakers who refuse to bake cakes for gay/lesbian wedfings. Congratulations to all those who are morally offended when people say “happy holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas.”

Praise be for all the local civil servants whose Christian beliefs take precedent over their civic duties. Say amen all you preachers and pastors who can make your sermons all about supporting conservative Christian politicians and ideologies without losing your precious tax-exempt status. Sing hallelujah all you pro-lifers who value the life of a fetus over that of a woman’s right to make her own reproductive decisions.

It’s about time someone has finally stood up for the poor, persecuted Christian majority in America. So thank you, Jeff Seasons and the Department of Justice for establishing this Religious Liberty Task Force. This is how we will make America great again…for straight, white, Christian conservatives, anyway.

Because, in Today’s America, they are all that matter. Everyone else is immorally bankrupt lost souls who are apparently destroying what real (i.e., Christian) Americans hold near and dear.

Welcome to the new American theocracy.

Presidential Tantrums


We have as our president a grown man — in fact, at 71, an elderly man — who behaves no differently than a spoiled five year old child. He wants what he wants when he wants it, and if he doesn’t get it, he throws a temper tantrum.

But because he is the President of the United States of America, his temper tantrums are very public. He is so prone to throwing tantrums that it’s an unusual day that passes without a presidential tantrum.

He throws tantrums on Twitter. He throws tantrums on “Fox & Friends.” He throws tantrums at his rallies and almost every time he opens his mouth.

The targets of his tantrums include the free press, cable news networks (except for Fox News), Democrats, Hollywood, Amazon and Jeff Bezos, late night comedians, Robert Mueller, Rob Rosenstein, Jim Comey, the Russia investigation, Kim Jong-Un (not so much lately, though), the FBI, the Justice Department, his handpicked Attorney General, Jeff Sessions, and almost anyone who says anything critical about him.

So here we are, America. We have elected as our president the tantrum-in-chief who is almost singlehandedly, thanks to the virtually silent Republican majority in Congress, doing what Vladimir Putin has only dreamed about. Trump is destroying the American democracy from within and undermining America’s influence around the world.

Written for today’s one-word prompt, “tantrum.”

Shh! Don’t Tell Jeff Sessions

I went to a local medicinal marijuana dispensary that, as of today, is licensed to sell recreational marijuana in California. The place was packed, like a Wal-Mart on Black Friday.

But I fought off the crowds and bought some pot-infused gummies and a bag of THC-laced chocolate chip cookies. I also learned two interesting things during the experience.

First, the percentage of THC, the “active ingredient” that causes the high one gets from cannabis, is lower in marijuana that is permissible to legally sell for recreational use than it is for medical marijuana.

That’s actually fine with me, though. I just want a light buzz. I don’t need or want to get completely blitzed out of my mind.

But the second thing I learned was fantastic. The pot store offers a ten percent senior discount! Seriously? A senior discount for aging Baby Boomer stoners. Oh yeah!

Far out, man!