“I’m so excited to show you this house I found,” the real estate agent told John over the phone. “I think it checks all of your boxes and, best of all, it’s below your max budget.”
“Great,” John said. “Text me the address and Jessica and I will meet you there in an hour.”
When they pulled up to the house, Jessica said, “Oh John, this house has wonderful curb appeal. And I love those two big shade trees in the front yard.”
“I just see a lot of raking to do every fall and easy ways for squirrels and other critters to get onto the roof and maybe into the attic,” John said.
“Oh my God, John,” Jessica said. “We haven’t even gotten to the front yard and you’re already throwing shade at the place. You need to check your bad attitude at the door, sir.”
Anne, their realtor drove up and got out of her car. “So good to see you two,” she said to John and Jessica. “How about we take a look inside?” Anne found the lockbox, pulled out the house key, and opened the front door. She motioned for John and Jessica to step inside.
“Oh wow, John,” Jessica said as they walked into the house. “Look how big this is living room is.”
“It’s a large room, but it seems dark to me,” John said.
“For crissake, John, you still have your shades on,” Jessica said.
John took off his sunglasses. “It still looks dark.”
“That’s an easy fix,” Anne jumped in. “I’m sure you can find a color that is a shade or two lighter, which could really brighten the place up.”
“And you can see the neighbors from those windows,” John said, pointing to the windows at the far end of the room. “And the neighbors can look right in and see us, too. There’s no privacy at all.”
“John, stop with the negativity,” Jessica snapped. “We can always put up shades or blinds over the windows.”
As they proceeded to walk through the house, John continued to be hypercritical. “The kitchen is closed off from the living are,” he said. “The master bathroom has only one sink. The kids’ rooms are both a shade too small. There’s no place for my man cave.”
“Wait until you see the backyard,” Anne said, trying to change the subject. “It’s huge.”
“I admit that it’s a big backyard,” John said, “but where are the trees? There was that one enormous tree in the front, but there’s nothing back here. This is Austin, Anne. It gets damn hot in the summer. Where are the shade trees that will make being out here in the backyard bearable?”
Anne shook her head and shrugged her shoulders. She looked plaintively at Jessica, seeking some guidance.
“Keep this on the short list, Anne,” she whispered to the realtor. “I’ll work on him behind the scenes, if you know what I mean.”
Written for today’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt from Linda G. Hill. In case you couldn’t figure it out, Linda gave us the word “shade” as the prompt.