One-Liner Thursday — Mazie Barr the Door

90A0CA11-BB85-44ED-AAF4-6D04FE62BE84I know that I usually post one-line quotes on Wednesday in response to Linda G. Hill’s One-Liner Wednesday prompt. But yesterday, at the televised Senate Judiciary Committee hearing involving Attorney General (and Trump ass-kisser William Barr), Democratic Senator from Hawaii, Mazie Hirono, said this to Barr:

“Mr. Barr, now the American people know you’re no different than Rudy Giuliani or Kellyanne Conway or any of the other people who sacrificed their once-decent reputations for the grifter and liar who sits in the Oval Office.”

Oh Mazie, you go, girl!

But she didn’t stop there. She went on to say:

“But now we know more about your deep involvement and trying to cover up for Donald Trump. Being attorney general of the United States is a sacred trust. You have betrayed that trust. America deserves better. You should resign.”

Oh snap!

Unfortunately, the President believes that he is a dictator who is above the law and who can do whatever he wants to do — legal, ethical, moral, or otherwise. And the Attorney General of the United States, along with the Republicans in Congress, are his enablers. Barr isn’t going to resign, Republicans are not going to suddenly develop spines and scruples, and Trump isn’t going away anytime soon.

Sad.

Let It Bleed — The Hearing

AB7347E2-9D41-47AF-8FDE-9D96D43610F7“Are you denying, Mr. Secretary, that you have ever had any contact with Elana Kamisorov, the Russian Intelligence agent?” the senator asked.

“Sir,” responded the Secretary of Homeland Security, “I don’t recall any such contact with Miss Kamisorov.”

“I have a photograph I’d like to share with you, Mr. Secretary,” the Senator said. He then directed one of his aids to mount a blowup of the photograph on an easel next to the senator’s chair. “Is this you in this picture, Mr. Secretary, in a warm embrace with Elana Kamisorov?”

After a short pause before answering, the Secretary said, “I belief someone must have mocked up or doctored that photo and I stand by my earlier statement.”

Losing patience with the witness, the senator picked up a piece of paper and waved it in the air. “Do you have any idea what this is, Mr. Secretary?”

“I do not, sir.”

“This is a signed and notarized deposition of an interrogation of Miss Kamisorov conducted by the FBI,” the senator said. “You’ve been a very naughty boy, Mr. Secretary. Miss Kamisorov testified that she offered to have sex with you in exchange for your providing her with state secrets. Would you like to modify your statement at this point?”

“At this time,” the Secretary said, “I will exercise my rights under the Fifth Amendment of the Constitution of the United States of America and refuse to answer on the grounds of self-incrimination.”


Written for the Let It Bleed Weekly Prompt Challenge from Saumya Agrawal’s Randomness Inked blog. The prompt for this week is the word “pause.” Also for these daily prompts: Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (recall), Ragtag Daily Prompt (picture), Word of the Day Challenge (naughty), and Your Daily Word Prompt (modify).

Politics As Usual

22917566-3330-4BFE-9D78-24638DFA15E4“You call that a viable solution?” the committee’s chairman, Senator Alan Green, said. “I find your recommendation to be both stunning and incredibly partisan. I ought to ban you from this hearing.”

“That’s a cheap shot, Senator,” Senator Elizabeth Browne responded. “I’m just trying to make sure that nothing in this investigation falls through the cracks. We should reopen the investigation without putting limits the scope, the witnesses that can be interviewed, and without setting an unrealistic timeframe to complete it.”

“Well, Senator Browne, I respectfully disagree,” Senator Green said. “We’ve already conducted an investigation and have found the woman’s accusations to be totally baseless. How much longer do we need to drag this thing out?”

“You call having your majority staff conducting a two-day investigation to be fair and impartial?” Senator Brown said. “The only investigation that would mean anything would be one conducted by an independent body, like the FBI, and which would have no restrictions or conditions.”

“Overruled!” the chairman shouted, pounding his gavel on the table. “We have what we need. Let’s vote. All in favor of moving the nomination forward to the full Senate say ‘aye.’”


Written for these prompts: Daily Addictions (solution), Word of the Day Challenge (stunning), Scotts Daily Prompt (ban), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (cheap), and Ragtag Daily Prompt (fall).

 

It’s This Thing Called Gravity

A35ECD01-EE47-4B7C-B723-203E751FA054“Is it just my imagination or are you shrinking?” my wife asked me.

“No,” I responded with a deep sigh. “It’s not your imagination. I actually am shrinking.”

I used to be 6’1”. But at my last annual physical exam the news was not good. No, I am not dying…not yet anyway. No, I don’t have any serious or fatal diseases. But I was shocked and disheartened when the nurse took my height and weight and told me that I was 5’11”. Omigod, I am shrinking!

I asked my doctor about my two-inch height loss. She tried to be very reassuring, informing me that, starting at about age 40, people people tend to lose about four-tenths of an inch of height every decade. It’s this thing called gravity. Shrinkage occurs even faster after age 70, with senior citizens shrinking by as much as three inches!

But wait, there’s more bad news. It’s not just height that we lose as we age. We experience decreases in everything from hair and hearing to memory and muscle. Yikes!

My hair turned gray before I lost most of it from the top of my head. And as to my hearing, I certainly am aware that my hearing ain’t what it used to be. I’m sorry. Could you please repeat that?

With respect to my memory, I can’t recall if it is getting any worse. Ha! Get it? I can’t recall! I don’t remember! Oh my goodness, I am so witty. I certainly haven’t lost my keen sense of humor with age! Har! Har!

Muscles? I never had too many of those in the first place, so you can’t really lose what you never actually had, can you?

Isn’t it bad enough that as one ages, there are more maladies and everyday aches and pains to deal with? When you look in the mirror each day, you see new lines and wrinkles, and the skin on your neck is starting to look more turkey-like than human.

Strange growths that were never there before appear at various places on your body. Your chest shrinks while your mid-section expands. And while you lose most of the hair on your head, where it should be, the hair in your nose and ears, where it shouldn’t be, grows like crazy.

And then, on top of all that, you shrink. Damn you, gravity.


Written for today’s one-word prompt, “imagination.”