“Momma, why are we here in church today?” Ruth asked. “It’s not Sunday.”
“I know, sweetie,” Donna said, pulling a tissue out of her purse. “Honey, can you please take that bubblegum out of your mouth and put it in this tissue? You shouldn’t chew gum in church.”
“But why are we here in the middle of the week?” Ruth asked again.
“Because your Uncle Benny bought the farm, sweetie,” Donna said.
“Uncle Benny bought a farm,” Ruth squealed. “Can we go?”
“Shh,” Donna said, “we’re in church. ‘Bought the farm’ is an expression, sweetie. It means Uncle Benny died.”
Disappointed, Ruth looked at her mother. “Why didn’t you just say that he died?”
“I shouldn’t have used that idiom, Ruth,” her mother said. “I think it was originally an English expression that means died, but it was irreverent of me to use it in church.”
“So how did Uncle Benny die?” Ruth asked.
“Well, Aunt Mabel said he lost his footing while he was off doing some mountain climbing,” Donna said. “But Uncle Benny was a lush and a liar and it wouldn’t surprise me if he fell off of a bar stool at the local pub.”
Ruth started to giggle uncontrollably until she saw the dirty look the pastor was giving her.
“Let us kneel and pay to God Almighty,” the pastor said in a booming voice, “and ask to be forgiven for our sins and trespasses as we remember with fondness our dearly departed friend, Ben Flannigan, who was the victim of a freak accident.”
Donna grabbed Ruth’s hand as each tried hard to not crack up laughing.
Written for today’s Three Things Challenge from Paula Light, where the three things are “liar,” “bubblegum,” and “mountain.” Also for these daily prompts: Ragtag Daily Prompt (farm), Your Daily Word Prompt (original), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (kneel), and Word of the Day Challenge (almighty).