The Catered Affair

“Okay, so the menu is set,” Dave said. “The guests will have their choice of beef, chicken, or vegetarian meals.”

“What about Uncle George?” Elaine asked. “He eats only fish.”

“This is not a game, Elaine,” Dave said. “We’re not adding a fish meal option to the menu just because of that eccentric, ichthyophagous uncle of yours. I’m telling you, we’re going to stay the course.”

“Oh, Dave, how difficult would it be to add a fish option? I’m sure there are other guests who might prefer fish,” Elaine said.

“Fine!” Dave said, throwing his hand up in resignation. “I’ll call the caterers and see what they can do to add a fish option. I just don’t want anymore turmoil.”

“Thank you, honey,” Elaine said, giving her husband a peck on the cheek.

“Anything not to have to listen to your incessant whining,” Dave said.


Written for these daily prompts: The Daily Spur (game), Word of the Day Challenge (ichthyophagous), Ragtag Daily Prompt (stay), . Your Daily Word Prompt (turmoil), and Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (incessant).

The Brotherhood

“Okay, Karl, it’s time for your initiation,” the Brotherhood pledge master said.

“I’m ready,” Karl said. “What do I need to do?”

Andy handed Karl an iPad and instructed him to log in to the Brotherhood’s initiation app. “Once you log in, the app will give you a task.”

Karl logged in and eagerly awaited his initiation task. But his enthusiasm diminished when the screen came up with a picture of a fish.9F9F592D-16EB-4091-8A03-F601C7109FE0 “What’s this?” he asked Andy.

“Ah, that’s the raw fish challenge,” Andy said. “We bring you a raw fish on a platter and your task is to eat the whole thing.”

Karl started to gag involuntarily. “I can’t do that, Andy,” he said. “I have sporadic issues with IBS and there’s no way I’m going to eat a whole raw fish.”

“Are you a winner or a loser?” Andy barked.

“I’m not a loser, Andy,” Karl said, “But I’m also not going to make myself ill just so I can pledge your stupid, fucking Brotherhood.”

“Just as I thought,” Andy said. “You’re just one of those rich assholes who thinks he’s too good to join our fraternal Brotherhood. You’re going to pay for your bigotry, Karl.”

With that, two large men moved to either side of Karl, lifted him up by the arms, and dragged him off. The last words Karl heard were Andy’s saying, “You shoulda ate the fucking fish, Karl.”


Written for these daily prompts: Your Daily Word Prompt (initiation), Daily Addictions (log), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (raw), Ragtag Daily Prompt (sporadic), Word of the Day Challenge (winner), and The Daily Spur (bigotry).

Share Your World — My World is Too Damn Hot

SYW

Melanie’s Share Your World prompt asks us to answer questions that enable us to share our worlds with our fellow bloggers. So let me answer her questions so I can share my world with all of you.

What do fish do all day? What thoughts do you think they have?

Fish, at least the ones who haven’t been caught by fishermen, swim around all day. What thoughts do they have? Well today, the fish in San Francisco are probably thinking how happy they are to be fish swimming around in nice, cool water. Because the humans in San Francisco are dealing today with freakishly hot temperatures.BF8A8395-877F-49B0-B0EB-7750A9CBE0AD

What celebrity would you have as a SPOUSE, if you HAD to choose?

I don’t know. Maybe that “washed up psycho Bette Midler” since she earned the ire of that crazy fuck, Donald Trump.E0784534-E123-4BB5-BEC3-28ECD54AFB42

What’s the most expensive thing you’ve ever broken?

A car that I totaled in an accident, although it wasn’t my fault. It never is, dammit.

When was the last time you slept more than 9 hours in a stretch?  Why?

Nine hours? Seriously, I feel lucky if I can get six hours in a stretch. Why? Why what? Why can’t I sleep for more than nine hours in a stretch? Probably because I can’t go for nine hours in a stretch without having to get up an take a piss.


An Attitude of Gratitude!

Share something you were really grateful for this year (so far):

I’m grateful to all of the people who take time out of their busy days to read, like, and comment on my posts and who follow my blog. Thank you all.

#writephoto — The Gloom

47BFD74B-7538-4F4A-9319-5AF04BF063E9The year was NC221. Thick, dark clouds had enveloped the entire planet since shortly after the Nuclear Holocaust, or NC as it was commonly known. The descendants of the survivors called it “the Gloom.” No one alive had ever seen the sun, the moon, or the stars. There were people who thought that tales of such “heavenly bodies” were nothing more than an ancient mythology.

Simon was leading a small party of gatherers scavenging for insects and, if they were lucky, a large rodent or two. Other hunting parties were looking for small game, such as wild dogs, coyotes, or feral cats. Several species of fish had managed to survive the NC, but because of the levels of radiation and other pollutants in the lakes, ponds, and streams, fish was rarely consumed by the descendants. Few other land species had survived the NC.

Simon and his group had been out for nearly five hours when he decided to take a quick inventory to see if they had collected enough to call it a day. When he was satisfied, he told everyone to grab their bags and they started the trek back to the base camp.

As they reached the top of the last hill before heading down into the valley, they all stopped and stared at the sky off in the distance. Some of the gatherers were frightened by what they saw. Others were in awe. Several even began to cry. Even Simon wasn’t sure what to make of it. There appeared a large hole in the cloud cover,  with a bright light emanating from it. “What is it, Simon?” one of the gatherers asked.

“I honestly don’t know,” Simon said. “It may be the sun or the moon shining through a crack in the sky.”

“Or maybe the gods are angry and are going to punish or destroy us,” another said, cowering in fear.

“We shouldn’t be afraid,” Simon said. “Some of the old books talked about how the Gloom might eventually lift. This may be the dawning of a new, bright age and a rebirth of our planet. We should celebrate and not recoil in fear.”

The small party of gatherers hurried back to the base camp, which, by the time they arrived, was bathed in the bright, warm light.


Written for Sue Vincent’s Thursday Photo Prompt.

FFfAW — The Dreamer

019F84CC-4F32-4012-AD08-912423778A9FEric looked out toward the marina from the place near the water’s edge where he was sitting and admiring the yachts that were docked there. “I’ve always dreamed of having my own boat,” Eric said to the heron that was standing in the water near the shore. The heron showed little interest in what Eric had to say, as the bird was otherwise occupied hunting for a nice, succulent fish to spear.

Ignoring the disdain shown him by the heron, Eric continued. “Look at that one with the tall mast across the way, the one on the right. Ain’t she a beauty?”

The heron caught its fish, shook its head, spread its wings, and flew away.

“Fine,” Eric said, angrily calling out to the heron. “But you’ll see, bird, just like everyone else who says I’m nothing but a dreamer, that one day I’m gonna own a sailboat just like that one over there. I’m a dreamer, yes, but one who will make his dreams come true.”

(167 words)


Written for this week’s Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers from Priceless Joy. Photo credit: J. S. Brand