MLMM First Line Friday — Stand Up

d53f765b-e2f1-430e-880d-825f69dcbc78“Well I think it’s funny!” Sharon said. “And it’s not a mean funny, it’s, you know, an affable funny.”

“Thank you so much for letting me run my routine by you,” Joel said. “I’m so glad you liked it. You know, it’s always been my dream to do stand up.”

“Well, as long as it’s not a chore, you should continue to pursue it,” Sharon said.

“A chore?” Joel said. “Not at all. I love it. And I have a method to my madness. I’m adamant that I have the power to be a successful stand up comedian.”

“I have confidence that you’ll make it, Joel,” Sharon said. “By the way, I saw a female comedian the other night at a local club. She was marvelous, so funny. Maybe you know her, Joel. Her name is Mrs. Maisel, the same last name you have.”


Written for this week’s Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie’s First Line Friday. Also for these one-word prompts: Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (affable), Nova’s Daily Random Word  (dream), Ragtag Daily Prompt (chore), Daily Addictions (method), Your Daily Word Prompt (adamant), and Word of the Day Challenge (power).

First Line Friday — A Christmas Memory

946926EA-DDD6-4F34-BB0D-208B286F56D8The radio was playing the oddest song. David got a little choked up when he heard “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus.” It was the original version from 1952, sung by the 13-year-old Jimmy Boyd.

“I’ve never heard that version of that song,” his wife, Elaine, said. “Didn’t the Jackson 5 record this?”

“Yes, but this version was the original,” David said. “I was just a kid when I first heard the song and I loved it. I remember seeing Jimmy Boyd sing it on the Ed Sullivan Show and was I so impressed.”

“So why do you look so sad?” Elaine asked.

“It was Christmas Eve and I was about five,” David said. “I was up in my bedroom and remember hearing some commotion coming from the living room. So I sneaked downstairs hoping that it was Santa Claus putting presents under the Christmas tree. But I saw my mother hugging and kissing a man.”

“Oh, that’s so cute,” Elaine said. “You thought you saw your mother kissing Santa Claus, when in fact it was your father she was embracing. Aw, what a wonderful memory.”

“Well, the thing is,” David said, letting out a heavy sigh, “my father was deployed in Korea at the time.”


Written for the First Line Friday prompt from Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie.

For those who are interested…

I Hate Surprises

1A2C8B8D-DBA3-451F-BF2B-85775FC7B3D2Florence paused at the door, “What the hell did you just say?” she said as they stepped outside.

Surprise!” Anita said.

“Are you shitting me?” Florence said, her voice belligerent. “What is wrong with you, Anita?”

“What do you mean?” a shocked Anita asked. “It’s your birthday and this gift is my surprise for you.”

“First of all, Anita, you know I don’t like surprises,” Florence said. “Second, a motor scooter? What make you think I know how to ride one of those things?”

“You know how to ride a bicycle, right? It’s just like riding a bicycle, but without having to pedal to get moving,” Anita said, disappointed that her surprise gift for her best friend’s birthday was not well received.

“You spent way too much money,” Florence said, beginning to calm down.

“Actually, I got it at an estate sale,” Anita explained. “It’s used, but barely and gently, according to the guy who ran the sale. So it wasn’t that expensive.”

“Well,” Florence said, “I’m sorry that I reacted the way I did. It’s just that this really is a surprise. You know, Anita, I love you and I want us to build a life together. But you need to understand something, okay?”

“What’s that, Florence?” Anita asked.

“I fucking hate surprises.”

“Okay,” Anita said. “You’re the driver in this relationship.”


Written for Mindlovesmisery’s Menagerie First Line Friday, for Rachel Poli’s Time to Write Sentence Starter prompt (“surprise”), and for these one-word prompts: Word of the Day Challenge (belligerent), Your Daily Word Prompt (gift), for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (driver), Scotts Daily Prompt (estate), and Ragtag Daily Prompt (build)

Friday Fictioneers + First Line Friday

B4E31777-3AF4-49F5-BECE-CD4EC6DF892F“This was by far, the bleakest and blackest of Fridays,” Craig said, sitting with his wife in the park near the serenity of a series of small waterfalls.

“You say that every year on the day after Thanksgiving,” Anna said. “But yes, last night’s dinner was extreme.”

“I just can’t fathom how gullible and, yes, stupid, some of my relatives are,” Craig said. “I’m sorry, Anna, but this is it. No more family Thanksgiving dinners at our home. Never again. I can’t take it anymore.”

“Never say never,” Anna said, trying to console her husband. “Trump won’t be president forever.”

(100 words)


Written for Rochelle Wisoff-Fields’ Friday Fictioneers prompt and for the  Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie First Line Friday prompt. Photo credit: Dale Rogerson.

First Line Friday — The Funeral

530B9F2C-2B28-46F1-A265-5AE69916356FThe funeral went by in a waltz of shiny cars, black suits, and choreographed tears. The procession reached the cemetery and pulled forward to the burial location. As people got out of their cars and made their way to the gravesite, the family members and closest friends took the seats while the rest of those in attendance formed a large oval around the plot.

Hank, a friend of a friend of the daughter of the deceased, was standing in the row of people farthest from the grave. Without warning, he let out a long, loud, juicy fart. Everyone in the crowd, including the pastor in the middle of his sermon, turned to see who it was who do rudely disrupted the service. Once those standing near Hank got a whiff of his flatulence, they moved away from him, leaving him standing by himself, all eyes glaring at him.

Using every communication skill he possessed, Hank said, “Please accept my apology for disrupting this funeral service, but the sudden death my friend’s father has so traumatized me that I was experiencing a mosaic of emotions and I momentarily lost control of my bodily functions. I hope all of you will find it feasible to forgive me my trespasses and return your attention to paying homage to the deceased and his family.”

A mass rolling of eyes, clicking tongues, and a collective sigh preceded the resumption of the funeral service as Hank slowly slunk away from the cemetery.


Written for the First Line Friday prompt from Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie, where the first line is, “The funeral went by in a waltz of shiny cars, black suits, and choreographed tears.” Also for these one-word prompts: Your Daily Word Prompt (farthest), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (disrupt), Word of the Day Challenge (whiff), Ragtag Daily Prompt (skull), Scotts Daily Prompt (mosaic), and Daily Addictions (feasible).