“Breathe in, breathe out, you’ll be okay,” Hank said to his wife. “Listen, there are a lot of people who are directionally challenged. You just have to try understand that driving uphill doesn’t mean that you’re headed north.”
“Tell me something I don’t already know,” Beth said. “Intellectually I understand that. But when the lady in the GPS tells me to head north, my brain converts that to uphill. And when she says go south, I can’t help but think she means to go downhill.”
“I suppose there’s a certain percent of the public that associates north and south to up and down,” Hank said.
“That’s easy for you to say,” Beth said. “I’d estimate that it’s an incredibly tiny number of people who do that. I feel so stupid.”
“Just pull over, take a deep breath, and get yourself together.” Hank said. “It’s understandable that you’d feel that way. After all, Beth, when you look at a map, north is up and south is down.”
When the car was parked by the side of the road, Beth started crying hysterically. Hank reached over and grabbed her hand. “Hey, Beth, it’s okay. You have so many great characteristics that being directionally challenged is insignificant. Look at our president. He just tweeted that the moon is part of Mars, for crissake.”
“Yeah, I know you’re right, Hank,” Beth said. “And given that I’m close to hysterical, I really do appreciate your ability to maintain a stolid demeanor. Since you’re so cool, calm, and collected, I think you should get behind the wheel.”
“Fine,” Hank said, walking around to the driver’s side of the car. “Let’s see. We’re supposed to head north from here. That means we just go up that hill, right?”
Written for the Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie First Line Friday prompt (“Breath in, breath out, you’ll be okay”), for Rachel Poli’s Time To Write Sentence Starter prompt (“Tell me”), and for these daily prompts: Ragtag Daily Prompt (directional), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (percent), Word of the Day Challenge (public), The Daily Spur (estimate), and Your Daily Word Prompt (stolid).