Santa’s Favorite Ho

3E3AE923-AA60-446C-BA64-FC4B3CEB05EE“You want me to wear that to the holiday party?”

“Yeah, I bought it special for you to wear tonight. You’ll look amazing.”

“That is the ugliest sweater I have ever seen and there’s no way I’m wearing it.”

Oh come on, it’s pretty and it’s funny. You’ll be the hit of the party.”

You must be totally unhinged if you think I’m wearing a Christmas sweater that labels me as ‘Santa’s Favorite Ho.’”


Written for the First Line Friday prompt from Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie, where the first line is, “That is the ugliest sweater I have ever seen.”

5 linesAlso written for the Friday Five Lines or Less prompt from Patricia’s Place. The idea is to write a story or poem of five lines or less. This week’s words is “holiday party.”

And for Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (unhinged).

The Elevator

6B56D84C-DDC8-45B8-95F2-3201829C0842The elevator stopped on the thirteenth floor with a lurch. The three passengers, a young man, maybe in his early twenties dressed in jeans and carrying an envelope, a middle-aged man dressed in a suit and tie, and an older woman in an unflattering, matronly outfit, looked at one another other.

The middle-aged man immediately took charge and pressed the button to take him to his office on the 20th floor, but nothing happened when he hit it. He looked to see what floor the elevator had stopped at and saw the sign above the elevator door, which displayed the number 13. “That’s not possible,” he said.

The old woman looked worried and asked what the problem was. The man looked at her, then at the young man, and back up to the number displayed. “This building does not have a thirteenth floor,” he said. “It goes from the twelfth to the fourteenth floor.”

“You baby boomers and your stupid superstitions,” the younger man said. “Thirteen is just a number, like every other number.”

“Today is Friday the thirteenth,” the old woman said. “I knew I should have stayed home today.”

The young man chuckled. The older man pressed the emergency call button, but no sound was heard.

The old lady began to sob. The young man shook his head, and the older man attempted to pull the elevator doors apart with his hands. “A little help here,” he said to the younger man.

Suddenly the doors opened and a cold, eerie mist filled the elevator. The last sound that was heard was that of the younger man’s voice saying, “What the fuck?”

A moment later the mist cleared and a lone man was standing outside the elevator doors. He began to speak. “Three strangers enter an elevator in a high rise building on Friday the thirteenth. One a business executive, one a bicycle messenger boy, and one a kindly grandmother. What none of them knew when they boarded the elevator on that auspicious day, was that the elevator made only one stop. It stopped atD59D2BF3-CBBE-4395-8904-20CDCE959FC7Written for this week’s First Line Friday prompt from Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie. The first line is, “The elevator stopped on the thirteenth floor with a lurch.”

The Odd Couple

1677E2EC-DE06-4816-8C15-A80AF6694DBBJust like every Leo, she always had to be the center of attention. But as an Aries, I, too, can be passionate, confident, and very direct. So yes, we did clash quite a bit. But that’s to be expected, isn’t it? We are, after all, both fire signs and are each strong willed, so a certain amount of discordance shouldn’t be a surprise.

Sometime we collide about minor things, like whether to go to Disneyland or to Magic Mountain for a vacation. Or that she loves to soak in a tub for hours, while I am in and out of the shower within three minutes. At other times our whole orientation is in conflict, like her being more of a home body who would be happy spending the evening sipping wine in front of the fireplace, while my preference would be to live a more nomadic life, driving around the country visiting scenic national parks in an RV.

The truth is, though, that I find her to be a totally bewitching woman and she finds me to be an extraordinarily fascinating man. And while we are occasionally at each other’s throats, there is nothing that anyone can do to chip away at our love. We may seem to be an odd couple, but together, we have zero tolerance for anyone who would dare to try to tear us apart.


Written for the Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie First Line Friday prompt, where the first line is, “Just like every Leo, she always had to be the center of attention.” Also for Paula Light’s Three Things Challenge, where the three things are “Disneyland,” “fireplace,” and “zero.” And for these daily prompts: Daily Addictions (Mountain), The Daily Spur (shower), Nova’s Daily Random Word (nomadic), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (bewitching), and Word of the Day Challenge (chip).

The Gates of Hell

979edffc-b85c-4449-9c3a-1e43e7686501.jpegTake the gun,” she said, handing me the revolver. She was stunning. A ginger with green eyes and a body that wouldn’t quit. I’d walk to the gates of Hell for her if she’d ask me to.

What’s the plan?” I asked after taking the gun from her.

“We break camp at dawn,” she said. “We’ll be meeting up with fighters from the other rebel camps in the foothills just south of the metropolis.”

“You know that the government troops will still seriously outnumber and outgun us,” I pointed out.

“Our objective is to cause as much havoc as we can, to disrupt their operations, and to try not to let them capture or kill us when we inevitably retreat,” she said.

“From what you’re saying” I said, “it sounds like this is shaping up to be a suicide mission.”

“You’re probably right,” she said, “but we are rebels with a good cause. As Patrick Henry said, ‘Give me liberty or give me death.’ I’ll see you either at the rendezvous point tomorrow night or we’ll spend an eternity in Hell together.”

See, I told you I’d be willing to walk to the gates of Hell for her if she asked. And that’s exactly what she was asking.


Written for the Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie First Line Friday prompt, where the first line is “Take the Gun,” and for Rachel Poli’s Time To Write Sentence Starter, where the line is “What’s the plan?” Also for these daily prompts: Ragtag Daily Prompt (camp), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (rebel), The Daily Spur (metropolis), Word of the Day Challenge (capture), and Your Daily Word Prompt (eternity).

Which Way Is North?

DA17162C-BFB8-4EFF-9F8D-E564D951C9E4Breathe in, breathe out, you’ll be okay,” Hank said to his wife. “Listen, there are a lot of people who are directionally challenged. You just have to try understand that driving uphill doesn’t mean that you’re headed north.”

Tell me something I don’t already know,” Beth said. “Intellectually I understand that. But when the lady in the GPS tells me to head north, my brain converts that to uphill. And when she says go south, I can’t help but think she means to go downhill.”

“I suppose there’s a certain percent of the public that associates north and south to up and down,” Hank said.

“That’s easy for you to say,” Beth said. “I’d estimate that it’s an incredibly tiny number of people who do that. I feel so stupid.”

“Just pull over, take a deep breath, and get yourself together.” Hank said. “It’s understandable that you’d feel that way. After all, Beth, when you look at a map, north is up and south is down.”

When the car was parked by the side of the road, Beth started crying hysterically. Hank reached over and grabbed her hand. “Hey, Beth, it’s okay. You have so many great characteristics that being directionally challenged is insignificant. Look at our president. He just tweeted that the moon is part of Mars, for crissake.”

“Yeah, I know you’re right, Hank,” Beth said. “And given that I’m close to hysterical, I really do appreciate your ability to maintain a stolid demeanor. Since you’re so cool, calm, and collected, I think you should get behind the wheel.”

“Fine,” Hank said, walking around to the driver’s side of the car. “Let’s see. We’re supposed to head north from here. That means we just go up that hill, right?”


Written for the Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie First Line Friday prompt (“Breath in, breath out, you’ll be okay”), for Rachel Poli’s Time To Write Sentence Starter prompt (“Tell me”), and for these daily prompts: Ragtag Daily Prompt (directional), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (percent), Word of the Day Challenge (public), The Daily Spur (estimate), and Your Daily Word Prompt (stolid).