Wrongly Accused

00D8BC20-CF5B-4D27-80D1-5478FE636335I, Fandango Fivedotoh, have been wrongly accused of the murder of Lady D by Inspector Li. As I will explain in this deposition before Police Captain Rory, all of the evidence of my alleged act is speculative and circumstantial and I am being framed for a heinous crime that I did not commit.

Lady D, the victim, was putting on a big fashion show at the Mount Vixen Ski Resort, where I happen to be skiing naked, as I am won’t to do, on a few occasions since arriving here with my wife, who is doing a stand up comedy show at the resort. As a strong proponent of naturism, and as someone who spends most of his time in the altogether, I do not follow the fashion industry and have no interest in fashion shows. In fact, I had never even heard of, much less ever seen, Lady D. What possible reason could I have to murder her?

Inspector Li claims that my wife, Britchy, had been victimized by Spacey, who was charged but never prosecuted. And while it’s true that Spacey did victimize her, that was many years ago and she is so over it. But Inspector Li claims that I “went off the deep end” when I heard Lady D on Poddy’s podcast bragging Spacey up. The inspector alleges that I decided, upon hearing that podcast, to serve up justice cold.

The inspector then claims that I had seen Ms. KK out on the biathlon range and knew she had a rifle. While Ms. KK was in the lounge, I allegedly slipped her key card out of her purse and took her rifle from her room. My plan, the inspector further alleges, with no evidence whatsoever, by the way,  was to “take out” one of the pro-Spaceys in town. The morning, after I heard the podcast, Inspector Li claims that is when I decided to target Lady D. And so I supposedly slipped into town and climbed the tower in Town Square and waited for my opportunity to shoot and kill someone I’d never heard of.

First of all, I never listen to podcasts. And why would I choose to listen to a podcast with someone who is a fashion aficionado when, as a naturist, I have zero interest in fashion?

Second, where is the physical evidence? Has the rifle allegedly used in the shooting been found so that it can be checked for fingerprints? No, it has not.

Third, the resort’s lodge has security cameras all over the place, including the lounge and the sleeping floors. Show me any tapes where I can be seen stealing a key card from Ms. KK’s handbag or entering into her room. There are no such tapes.

And fourth, I have airtight alibis, having been seen by many on the slope the night before and relaxing in the hot tub when this crime took place.

There is no physical evidence whatsoever that would justify my arrest. No murder weapon, no fingerprints, no video tapes, nothing. Not even a motive, since neither my wife nor I care about Spacey. Nor do I listen to podcasts, give a shit about fashion, or know who Lady D was.

The fact is, Captain Rory, that you put a lot of pressure on Inspector Li make an arrest and to close this case. Who better than a naked skier and the husband of a stand up comic known for her raunchy jokes? We are strangers and we are scapegoats. I am being set up to take the fall for a crime I did not commit. You have no basis to hold me and I demand that you release me immediately.

I rest my case.

Whatever Floats Your Boat

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“It sort of reminds me of a sphinx,” Dora said looking up at the cloud partially blocking the setting sun.

“To me it looks like a merry-go-round horse,” Alicia replied.

“Yeah, I can see that,” Dora said. Then wistfully, she said, “I don’t see how anyone can’t believe in God when they see something like this.”

“I don’t,” Alicia said in a matter of fact way.

Dora looked at Alicia with an expression of disbelief. “How can you look at that sky and tell me you don’t see God’s hand? The evidence of God is all around us.”

“I hear that all the time from people who believe in God,” Alicia said. “Evidence that God exists is everywhere you look, they tell me. Well, if that’s the case, why can’t I see it?

“Your walling yourself off from seeing such evidence,” Dora said. “It makes you blind to ‘The Truth’ of God’s existence.”

“I’m not walling myself off,” Alicia said. “If any definitive evidence were presented to me, I would be thrilled to change my mind about the existence of God.”

“But if God does not exist,” Dora said, “life is ultimately meaningless. If life ends in death, then it does not matter how you live.”

“You really believe that?” asked Alicia.

“I do,” said Dora. “If God does not exist, what is the point? Without God there is ultimately no hope for deliverance from the shortcomings of our finite existence.”

Alicia sighed. She looked back toward the slowly setting sun and the ever shifting shapes of the clouds. “Whatever floats your boat, Dora.”


Written for Sue Vincent’s Thursday Photo Prompt

 

Facts Versus Opinions

Daniel Patrick Moynihan

In my last post I wrote about the difference between facts and truth. But a topic even more highly frustrating for me is what appears to be a lack of understanding of the differences between facts and opinions.

We seem, these days, to live in a culture where everyone thinks that the words “I’m entitled to my opinion” implies that all opinions are equal and that ignorance is just as good as knowledge.

“I’m entitled to my opinion” is something people will say when they’ve hit a wall in their argument. It is a last ditch effort to justify their point of view by defending their right to hold an opinion no matter how ill-founded, uninformed, and yes, even stupid, it might be. In their minds, they create a false equivalency between fact and opinion.

A fact is something that has actually happened or that is empirically true and can be supported by evidence. An opinion is a belief. It is normally subjective, meaning that it can vary based on a person’s perspective, emotions, or individual understanding of something.

Facts can change over time. What is a fact today may, through more study and new evidence, be updated or revised. Knowledge is growing at an impressively rapid pace, and because knowledge is not finite, scientific facts can be refined as more knowledge is acquired.

As one’s knowledge or understanding grows through learning, opinions may change, may evolve, as well. That’s as it should be.

So yes, you are entitled to your opinion, but you must never, without foundation, equate an opinion with a fact or assume that an opinion is truth. If your opinion about something or someone is well-researched and is based upon conclusive, observable evidence, it may have merit. If not, your opinion is probably just wrong. Express it at the risk of sounding ignorant.

Well, that’s my opinion, anyway.