An Easter Story

Heavens Open Ornate GatesThree women — a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde — find themselves standing in front of Saint Peter at Heaven’s Pearly Gates after having tragically died in a freak auto accident. They are surprised to hear Saint Peter tell them, “Whoa, ladies. You don’t just walk in here. You’ve got to pass a test!”

With that, Saint Peter turns to the brunette and says, “Tell me about Easter.”

She responds, “Oh Easter is my favorite time of year. We all get together and cook a turkey with stuffing and all the trimmings and eat too much. And then we sit and watch football on the television!”

“Sorry that’s not correct,” Saint Peter replies. Turning to the redhead he asks the same question.

She responds, “Easter is fabulous! We get a tree and put lights on it and exchange presents and sing carols. Easter is my favorite time of year!”

With a sigh, Saint Peter says, “Sorry, that’s also not correct.” Suspecting he’ll hear even a bigger mistake from the blonde, he nonetheless asks her to tell him about Easter.

The blonde replies, “Well, about two thousand years ago a child was born to a couple in a manger and he grew up to be a carpenter and good men liked him until one day, while he was having dinner with friends, he was captured and taken away and nailed to a cross and his body was put into a cave and the cave was closed with a large rock.”

Saint Peter is just about to congratulate her when she continues, “And every February they roll the rock away and if he sticks his head out of the cave and sees his shadow, there’s going to be six more weeks of winter.”

Happy Easter and/or Passover everyone.

Image credit alswart – Fotolia

One-Liner Wednesday — Business as Usual


“I would love to have the country opened up and just raring to go by Easter.”

Donald J. Trump

A World Health Organization (WHO) spokesperson told a press conference in Geneva yesterday that there has been a “very large acceleration” in U.S. coronavirus cases in recent days.

Yet the American president, despite warnings like these from the WHO that the United States could soon become the epicenter of the global coronavirus pandemic, wants to return the country to business as usual by Easter.

Further, Trump has predicted that, on Easter Sunday, there will be “packed churches all over our country.” He added, “I think it would be a beautiful time, and it’s just about the timeline that I think is right.”

This is something that virtually all doctors, epidemiologists, and health experts agree is exactly the wrong thing to do if we want to “flatten the curve” of this highly contagious and easily transmitted disease.

It’s obvious that the current president of the United States is more eager to prop up the faltering U.S. economy in order to reinvigorate his re-election campaign than he is in saving the lives of American citizens.

Written for today’s One-Liner Wednesday prompt from Linda G. Hill.