This is America in the age of Trump
This is crazy
This is scary
This is dangerous
In other words, this is madness
This post was written for the In Other Words prompt from Patricia’s Place. The challenge this week is to write a story or poem of five lines or fewer using the word “madness.” Image credit: Michael Vadon’s Flickr photostream.
Okay, this is really strange. Melanie over at Sparks From a Combustible Mind apparently tagged me to respond to the weirdest Q&A prompt I have yet to see. The rules for this craziness were concocted by Rory over at A Guy Called Bloke.
Now Rory is an idea guy and he posts some weird shit, but this one takes the cake. First of all, before you even answer the ten questions, you’re supposed to “nominate one blogger to answer the questions, but before you do, create two new questions of your own to replace two existing questions.”
But then it gets even weirder. His rules state that you’re suppose to answer the true or false questions the wrong way. “Don’t answer the questions the right way!” his rules state. And the questions are not just true or false questions. They’re true or false and prove it questions. Seriously, Rory? And thanks a lot for dragging me into this, Melanie. Sheesh!
Okay, well, here goes. But to be honest, I don’t know if my answers are true or false, but I’m bound and determined to prove them.
1. Camels store water in their humps? True or False & Prove It
My first inclination is to say “one hump or two,” but I will resist. The answer is false. Because camel humps bounce too much when they’re walking or trotting or running. So if they stored water in their humps, the jostling of the water stored there would have a carbonating effect, which could potentially cause their humps to explode like a shaken bottle of soda. Yeah, that’s the ticket.
2. Snakes only close their eyelids when they sleep? True or False & Prove It?
False. Snake eyes only open up when your shooting craps at a Vegas casino and you lose all the money you’d won earlier and your wife gets really pissed at you and won’t speak to you for days.
3. The saber-toothed tiger (Smilodon) was exterminated by Neanderthal man? True or False & Prove It?
False. The saber-toothed tiger is not actually extinct. They just have better orthodontists.
4. Leonardo da Vinci employed hundreds of craftsmen to build his inventions? True or False & Prove It?
True. Leonardo da Vinci was the Steve Jobs of his day. His motto was “If you build it, they will come.”
5. The carpet python can hunt in complete darkness? True or False & Prove It?
False. You’re thinking of vampire bats.
6. Big Bertha was the nickname given to German zeppelins? True or False & Prove It?
False. Big Bertha was the nickname for a large German howitzer cannon that was named after the Marvel superhero.
7. In the 17th century, Wall Street was located on the border of a Dutch colony? True or False & Prove It?
False, Wall Street was originally built along the border between the US and Mexico. It was paid for by Mexico and our current president campaigned on restoring Wall Street using the slogan “MWSGA,” for “Make Wall Street Great Again.”
8. Yeast must be added to the grapes to obtain alcohol? True or False & Prove It?
True. It’s known as the yeast infection methodology and it’s why so many women work in grape vineyards.
9. Zeus is the male god behind Creation? True or False & Prove It?
False. Cecil B. DeMille was the god behind creation. He created some excellent, epic movies.
10. For a long time, milk was a luxury? True or False & Prove It?
True. But then Jack traded in his milk cow for some magic beans, after which magic beans became the new milk.
Melanie asked these two additional questions.
A) On Good Friday in 1930, the BBC reported, “There is no news.” Instead, they played piano music. True or False & Prove It?
True. The BBC played Pharrell Williams’ song “Happy” for 24 straight hours. An unfortunate, unanticipated consequence of doing so was that the day set an all-time record for suicides in a 24 hour period.
B) There really was a Captain Morgan. He was a Welsh pirate who later became the lieutenant governor of Jamaica. True or False & Prove It?
False. Captain Morgan was the original commander of Star Fleet’s USS Enterprise, but he was found drunk with an empty fifth of rum and was relieved of his command and replaced by Captain Kirk.
Now it’s my turn to ask two additional questions.
1) “Truthiness” is the word Donald Trump coined to counter allegations that he’s a pathological liar. True or False & Prove It?
2) “Papa Doc” was the nickname given to Ernest Hemingway when he removed a harpoon from the fin of a great white whale. True or False & Prove It?
This is open to anyone and everyone who is adventurous enough to wants to participate.
“Oh my God,” said Cindy. “Did you see Trump’s latest tweet?”
“No,” said Aaron. “I’ve stopped paying attention to his tweets. They’re crazy. He’s crazy.”
“I know,” Cindy responded. “He tweets things that make you go, ‘hmmm.’ I honestly think he’s lost it. I don’t know if it’s dimentia or if he is just plain nuts.”
“I go for all of the above,” said Aaron. “And in the meantime, our country is in such a downward spiral. I wish some of the Republicans in Congress would go ‘hmmm’ and do something to stop that madman before it’s too late.”
“Don’t count on it,” Cindy said. “Republicans would rather send a pedophile to Congress than vote for a Democrat. Talk about things that make you go ‘hmmm.'”
“Hmmm,” said Aaron.
Written for this week’s Manic Monday prompt from Sandi over at Flip Flops Every Day. The prompt is to write a post using the title to the song, “Things that make you go Hmmm” from C+C Music Factor. I’d never heard that song before reading her post.