You remember my epilogue to the Jack and the Beanstalk tale, right? In case you don’t, here it is.
Anyway, to make a short story longer, after the giant stole back his golden goose from Jack, without the beanstalk, the giant had no way to get back home. He began searching for a way back to his domain. He wandered the land of the humans, trying as best as a giant could to avoid being seen.
The giant and his goose traveled far and wide, climbing up into the highlands hoping to find a mountain high enough to allow him to get home. Along the way, whenever the giant grew hungry, and not wanting to cook his goose, he’d catch and eat a few lambs or calves to tide him over, which upset the local villagers. And given that he was a giant, it took quite a few lambs and calves to sate his giant appetite.
But, as sometimes happens, he eventually heard nature’s call. Or, more accurately, he felt nature’s call. He looked all around, and knowing that it would be a giant dump, one that would surely attract attention, if not for its giant size then for its giant stench, he searched for a place to do his business.
And that is when he discovered what appeared to him to be a perfect, giant-sized commode. It was such a relief for the giant when he relieved himself. Even he, though, wasn’t prepared for the putrid stink over the land brought about by his giant poop.
Stories of the smelly poop and the missing lambs and calves made their way back to Jack. Since he considered this whole mess to be his fault, Jack started a Go Fund Me campaign to cover the costs of his quest to slay the giant and to save the environment.
Once he reached his financial goal, Jack set off in search of the giant. Following his nose, Jack quickly discovered the giant’s giant commode. Sizing up the situation, Jack came up with a plan to do away with the giant once and for all. He got his hands on some dynamite, attached it to a device that could trigger an explosion remotely using his iPhone, and lowered the dynamite down into the hole in the giant rock. Now all he needed was to hide in waiting for the giant to once again heed nature’s call.
Sure enough, early the next morning he heard the giant saying, “Fe Fi Fo Fump, it’s time to take my giant dump.” The giant sat down on his giant rock commode, golden goose in his arms, and pinched off a big one.
Just as the giant was about to stand up, Jack hit an icon in his iPhone’s screen.
The dynamite exploded, catapulting the giant and his golden goose so high into the sky that the giant landed back in his homeland high above the clouds.
Jack was hailed as a local hero, celebrated throughout the land for ridding the countryside of the lamb- and calf-eating giant with the horribly stinky poops.
And the giant was happy to finally be back home. Unfortunately for him, though, due to the damage from the dynamite, he could never sire any children.
Written for this week’s Thursday Photo Prompt from Sue Vincent.