I originally published this post on June 29th of last year. I thought that, since most of you were not readers of my blog back then, I’d repost it as part of what I’m dubbing “Throwback Thursday.” Enjoy.
What, exactly, is a man of mystery?
I’ve heard that, for many women, a man with an air of mystery is quite alluring. They find him fascinating. They are intrigued, and perhaps even a little excited, by a man who seems to have something dark and hidden deep within him.
Something mysterious lurking just below the surface. Something a little dangerous. Something remarkably magnetic.
If you’re truly a man of mystery, women are challenged to figure out who you really are. Why you are so secretive, so aloof. What you are hiding. What deep, dark secrets are lurking within you.
Their curiosity piqued, they can’t help but gravitate toward you. They think about you, wonder about you. They find you hard to predict. They don’t know or understand your motivations. They want to know what makes you tick.
And it drives them nuts. Which makes you virtually irresistible to them. You become a real chick magnet.
I have never been mysterious, much less a chick magnet. I’m a what-you-see-is-what-you-get kind of a guy. I’m not hesitant to say what I’m thinking or feeling. I’m open and forthcoming about who I am: the good, the bad, and the occasionally indifferent.
But I was curious — you know, just for my own edification — how a man can achieve that mysterious air.
I tried to find an explanation, or at least a good description, of what it is that gives a man an air of mystery. I couldn’t find anything formal, but I did come across some rather amusing steps, which I’ve compiled below, that a man should follow if he wishes to become a man of mystery:
- Wear sunglasses at all times, even at night.
- Wear a fedora hat and a trench coat, preferably with the collar turned up.
- Carry dry ice around in your car so that whenever the situation presents itself you can appear out of a thick mist.
- Call your voicemail and mutter secretively about “the deal going down” and “Code Red.”
- Whenever you leave, say you’ve got to meet your “connection” and walk off in a random direction.
- If your name is spoken out loud in a public place, grab the offender and say, urgently, “Shhh, not here!”
- Instead of having your friends pick you up at your place, make them get you at the airport or bus station.
- Be sure to look around frequently, as if you may be being followed.
- Every few hours, shake your head and say, “Crazy life, man, crazy life.”
Okay, so based upon these simple-to-follow steps, all I have to do to cloak myself with an air of mystery is to dress the part and act really weird and paranoid.
I think I’ll pass.