You think I’m heartless and cheap. Well I’m neither heartless nor cheap and I can prove it to you. Here, take a look at this selfie. Would a heartless and cheap man be tossing a few coins at a homeless guy? No, he would not. This photo shows just how caring and generous I am. See, I told you that you’ve got me all wrong, didn’t I?
Written for a weekly challenge from Ebar.
“You’re such a snowman,” Howard said.
“A what?” Seth asked.
“A snowman,” Howard repeated. “You know, an anti-Trump, whiny libtard.”
“You mean a ‘snowflake,’” Seth corrected.
“Whatever,” Howard said. “You liberals, with all your bogus caring about those damn illegal families crossing the border, are destroying America. These criminals and rapists and MS-13 gang members are invading our county and if we don’t stop and arrest them and separate each kid from his family, they’re going to turn our country brown and everyone will be speaking Mexican and there will be a taco stand on every corner.”
“You sounds like a blithering idiot, Howard,” Seth said. “Where are you getting your information? Who’s filling your head with all that bullshit?”
“Sean Hannity and Tucker Carlson on Fox News,” Howard answered. “That’s the only place to get real news. All the other networks are fake news with reporters who, as Trump says, are the enemy of the American people.”
Seth sighed deeply and shook his head in disbelief. “We are in deep shit,” he said, more to himself than to Howard.
Written for Teresa’s Three Things Challenge, where the three things are snowman, family, and caring.