Barbershop Harmony Gone Awry

C7853B58-CA47-4A44-AEE3-EE9307C6C634My buddies and I decided to go to a karaoke bar, have a few drinks, and show off our singing prowess. After all, the four of us regular performed as a barbershop quartet at various local carnivals. So why not strut our stuff in front of the karaoke crowd?

We arrived fairly early, maybe an hour or so before the singing was scheduled to start. So naturally we started out with tequila shooters and beer chasers. By the time bar got crowded and the karaoke performances were ready to commence, my buddies and I were all three sheets to the wind.

We had signed up to sing the Crosby Stills & Nash song, “Wooden Ships,” a great song for a group of four a cappella guys to beautifully harmonize. At least that was the plan.

When we got up to sing, each of us was drunk as a skunk, and rather than a beautiful harmony, our singing was rather more of a discordant cacophony. We were unused to being confronted by boos and very tactless jeers from our audiences. And quite frankly we were shocked. We decided that the best thing to do was to stop singing, to sit down, and to shut up.

As we left the stage, the audience members started applauding our departure, displaying a mean, sarcastic gratitude for our leaving the stage. “Another round of tequila shooters and beer chasers,” one of my buddies yelled to the server when we got back to our table.

I woke up the next morning with one of the worst hangovers I’ve ever had. I walked to the bathroom, looked in the mirror, and was shocked to see that I had a black eye and a cut and swollen upper lip. I had no recollection of getting into a fight or falling the night before. But I did come to the conclusion that excessive tequila shooters with beer chasers are not good for one’s health.


Written for these daily prompts: Word of the Day Challenge (karaoke), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (cacophony), Your Daily Word Prompt (tactless), Ragtag Daily Prompt (gratitude), and The Daily Spur (health).

Time To Write — Politics as Unusual

65FABB36-29AC-4D35-9CF2-1C97B924E983“What happened?” Jane asked her husband. “Oh my God, what happened?”

“It’s nothing,” Archer said.

“Nothing?” Jane exclaimed. “Look at yourself. You’re eye is swollen shut and is turning black. Your lip is cut and bleeding, as is your nose. What the hell, Archer?”

“Just a slight altercation with a guy at the office,” Archer said.

“An altercation? You mean a fist fight,” Jane said. “With who and about what?”

“Dan, my cubicle mate, was late because he voted this morning on the way to the office,” Archer explained. “He asked me if I had voted yet and I told him that I had voted by mail last week. Then he asked me who I voted for. I told him that I learned a long time ago to avoid talking about sex, religion, and politics at the office.”

“Okay, but then how did this happen?” she asked, pointing at his face.

“He kept pestering me about who I voted for, so I finally told him,” Archer said. “And that’s when all hell broke loose.”

“What exactly happened?”

“He was pissed. He said that my vote canceled out his. Then I said that since I voted before he did, his vote canceled out my vote. Things went down hill from there.”

“But how did things turn physical?” Jane asked.

“I dunno,” Archer said. “He said I was unpatriotic, called me a globalist, said I believed all the fake news, and that I wanted illegal immigrants to overrun our county.”

“You’re kidding!” Jane said. “So he hit you?”

“Well, I might have said a few things back at him,” Archer admitted. “And suddenly fists were flying. Our coworkers had to pull us apart and our boss sent us both home. We both got formal warnings and are on work probation.”

“I hope Dan looks as bad as you do,” Jane said, hugging her husband.

“Worse,” Archer said, a painful smile appearing on his face.


Written for Rachel Poli’s Sentence Starter prompt.