“Why are you always just sitting there on the couch playing Candy Crush all day long on your phone?” Carol complained.
“Oh come on, sweet-pea,” Jerry said, “just look at me, I’m a regular couch potato.”
“Jerry, you always couch your answers in terms of fruits and vegetables and I’m sick of it.”
“Oh, pumpkin,” Jerry said, a hurt look on his face, “that’s kind of hash, don’t you think?”
“No it’s not hash, Jerry, and I think you meant ‘harsh,’” Carol said. “Let’s go out somewhere. The county fair is this weekend. That would be fun.”
“Bean there, done that,” Jerry said. I yam sure I don’t want to go there again.
“Did you just say ‘bean there’ instead of ‘been there’? And ‘yam’ instead of ‘am’? That’s so corny, Jerry,” Carol said.
“Carol, my little tomato,” Jerry said, “you know, deep down inside that we are like two peas in a pod. Why don’t you take your lovely pair-shaped body and set yourself down on this couch next to me? As soon as I finish this came of Candy Crush, we can add some spice to our lives. If you let me squeeze your melons, I’ll let you fondle my eggplant.”
“Ooh, you’re getting a little peppery, there, Jerry. Lettuce see what happens when you finally put down your phone,” Carol said. “You always were the apple of my eye, Jerry.”
Jerry smiled and said, “Aw, orange you a sweet potato?”
This bit of silliness was written for today’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt from Linda G. Hill. She’s asked us to write a post using the word “couch” as a verb or a noun.