Sadje’s Sunday Poser — I’m a Swinger

For this week’s Sunday Poser, Sadje wants to know…

Do you like being on your own and what’s your favorite place to spend alone time?

I think everyone needs a little alone time every once in a while. And when I need to recharge my batteries on my own, I go outside, weather permitting, to my back deck where I have a swing chair like the one pictured below hanging from my pergola. My backyard has beautiful views, the sounds of a running waterfall and birds chirping, and it’s a great place to relax, unwind, and enjoy the serenity. It’s a beautiful day today — sunny and 66°F — and that’s where I am right now as I compose this.

On those occasions when the weather is not conducive to sit outside, but when I feel the need to be alone, I will go into my home office, which has a sleep sofa in it, and will relax in there. I will do some reading, listen to music, or just shut my eyes and chill out.

Weekend Writing Prompt — Yard With a View

We loved everything about San Francisco when we lived there. The climate, our location near Golden Gate Park and the Pacific Ocean.

But what we didn’t have was a view from our backyard. So when we moved to the East Bay, finding a backyard with a peaceful and picturesque view was important.

We succeeded.

(Exactly 54 words)

Written for Sammi Cox’s Weekend Writing Prompt, where the word is “picturesque” in exactly 54 words.

I Have Moles

I’ve put a lot of effort (and money) into landscaping my backyard. But I have a mole problem and there are mole holes dotting my yard. In the past I’ve had a company come out to fix my mole problem, but that solution entailed setting traps that killed the moles. That didn’t bother me, but it did bother my wife, who has challenged me to come up with a more “humane” way of getting rid of the moles.

I did some research and came across a product that doesn’t kill moles but allegedly does drive them away. I found these on Amazon. They are advertised to safely and humanely rid your yard of moles, which would make my wife happy.

According to the product materials, this solar mole repellent uses vibration pulses to drive moles away, without the use of chemical agents or poisons. Thus, they are environmentally friendly, safe, and effective. Yay! The solar mouse repellent stakes emit vibration pulses into the ground for 3-4 seconds every 30 seconds at a frequency that supposedly annoys or frightens moles to the point that they leave the area.

Total bullshit! The moles in my backyard seem to be attracted to, rather than repelled by, whatever vibrations these devices are giving off, because I have more mole holes in my backyard now than I did before I stuck these stakes in the ground. The photo below shows a new mole hole I discovered yesterday about a foot to the left of the solar stake.

So it’s back to the drawing board and the ultimate question. Do I set lethal traps to rid my yard of these landscape destroying critters or just let them, as my wife wants, have free rein to do their thing?

Oh, If Looks Could Kill

“I can’t believe that you ordered venison for dinner,” my wife said. “We have deer in our backyard and they are such beautiful, graceful animals.”

“First of all,” I said, “deer belong in the pristine wilderness, not in our backyard. Second of all, they are eating all of our plants, shrubs, and trees and killing them. So if they can eat all of my expensive plants, I can eat them.”

“You’re ridiculous,” she said. “It’s people like you who eat innocent animals that will be the reason deer will become extinct. You’re heartless.”

“I’m not a hunter, but left unchecked, deer will overrun the areas they inhabit, resulting in an adverse effect on the ecosystem,” I said. “So it’s important to properly facilitate and manage the size of the herd.”

“Didn’t you ever watch “Bambi”? It was heartbreaking when the hunters shot Bambi’s mother. I know you think this will sound a bit quirky, but I’m going to start a petition to ban the shooting of deer.”

“Not quirky,” I said, “ridiculous. Bambi was a Disney cartoon. But hey, do your thing, sweetheart. I’m going to finish this delicious cut of venison. Wanna bite?

Oh, If looks could kill! I thought

Written for these daily prompts: E.M.’s Random Word Prompt (venison), Word of the Day Challenge (pristine), The Daily Spur (wilderness), Your Daily Word Prompt (facilitate), My Vivid Blog (quirky), and Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (petition).

Note from Fandango: I’ve never eaten venison. The person in this story is not me. The photo above, however, was taken in my backyard.

Leapin’ Lizards

We have lizards in our backyard. The photo above was taken of one our lizard friends last summer. Now that the weather is getting warmer, these critters are crawling out from under the rocks (or wherever they have been hiding during the cooler months) to sit out on said rocks and bask their little cold-blooded asses in the warm sun.

Earlier this month, we brought home a rescue dog from a kennel and it seems that she is obsessed with lizards like some dogs are with squirrels. When we take her out in our yard, she immediately starts looking around for any lizard who dares to show itself. And then she leaps after it.

Fortunately, she hasn’t been fast enough to actually catch one. Not yet, anyway. In the meantime, though, maybe we should have named our dog Annie, after Little Orphan Annie, whose catchphrase was “Leapin’ Lizards.”