Advice From Nextdoor

EEAB8B7D-DED0-4689-B117-5513D26B24CEI have this app on my iPhone called “Nextdoor.” According to its website, “Nextdoor is the best way to stay informed about what’s going on in your neighborhood — whether it’s finding a last-minute babysitter, planning a local event, or sharing safety tips. There are so many ways our neighbors can help us, we just need an easier way to connect with them.”

I’ve actually found out some interesting and useful things on the Nextdoor app. Like temporary road closures, new local restaurants opening up or old ones closing, crime reports, and some suggestions for who to call for what services.

But I have to admit that what I saw on Nextdoor the other day had to be the weirdest, possibly the sickest piece of advice I’ve ever seen. I swear this was actually posted on on the Nextdoor app. But to be honest, I don’t know if this posting was a legitimate one or a prank. I’m hoping it was a prank, but these days, you can never be sure.

Are you ready?CE018E16-9390-4744-BC71-6A767FE09664Okay, speaking about pets, and to lighten things up, since the above post, if you’re a pet owner, might freak you out, I also saw this picture posted on Nextdoor.AB904335-3644-4A81-B843-44A362E02CE2

The Brotherhood

“Okay, Karl, it’s time for your initiation,” the Brotherhood pledge master said.

“I’m ready,” Karl said. “What do I need to do?”

Andy handed Karl an iPad and instructed him to log in to the Brotherhood’s initiation app. “Once you log in, the app will give you a task.”

Karl logged in and eagerly awaited his initiation task. But his enthusiasm diminished when the screen came up with a picture of a fish.9F9F592D-16EB-4091-8A03-F601C7109FE0 “What’s this?” he asked Andy.

“Ah, that’s the raw fish challenge,” Andy said. “We bring you a raw fish on a platter and your task is to eat the whole thing.”

Karl started to gag involuntarily. “I can’t do that, Andy,” he said. “I have sporadic issues with IBS and there’s no way I’m going to eat a whole raw fish.”

“Are you a winner or a loser?” Andy barked.

“I’m not a loser, Andy,” Karl said, “But I’m also not going to make myself ill just so I can pledge your stupid, fucking Brotherhood.”

“Just as I thought,” Andy said. “You’re just one of those rich assholes who thinks he’s too good to join our fraternal Brotherhood. You’re going to pay for your bigotry, Karl.”

With that, two large men moved to either side of Karl, lifted him up by the arms, and dragged him off. The last words Karl heard were Andy’s saying, “You shoulda ate the fucking fish, Karl.”


Written for these daily prompts: Your Daily Word Prompt (initiation), Daily Addictions (log), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (raw), Ragtag Daily Prompt (sporadic), Word of the Day Challenge (winner), and The Daily Spur (bigotry).

Calling All Cat People

My wife and I have a cat. And a dog. Our daughter and her boyfriend have a cat. Our son and his girlfriend have two cats.

Our son signed us up for some kind of app that randomly sends us “cat facts.” This is the latest one we received.F30E410A-1FDC-4EE1-BD91-7B3156F19B56I know that our cat is very talkative — almost annoyingly talkative — when we’re around. He meows, he purrs, and when he’s hungry, which is almost all the time, he screeches. And when he’s angry he growls, snarls, and hisses.

But is he silent when we are not around? How would I know? When I’m not around, I am, by definition, not around to hear whether or not he meows.

So I’m reaching out to all of you cat owners in the blogging community. Do you think that your cat (or cats), only meows in order to communicate with us humans? Or do you have audio or visual evidence that cats meow when humans are absent?

Credit Where Credit Is Due

4E213B32-FB7C-45F1-A256-B30D39BC4EB2At the beginning of this month I downloaded an update to the WordPress app for my iPhone. Unfortunately, as I wrote in this post, there was a bug in the update that prevented me from using the app to “like” other bloggers’ posts from the reader.

When I clicked on “Visit” from within the app’s reader, it took me to the blogger’s post, but the “Like,” “Reblog,” and “Share this” buttons were nowhere to be found. But if I logged into WordPress via the Safari or Chrome browsers on my iPhone or the Chrome browser on my laptop, they were all there.

I opened a support ticket with WordPress and, after explaining the issue and sending multiple screenshots, I was told that the Happiness Engineers were unable to replicate the bug. Too bad, so sad.

Finally, about nine days later, I received an email saying that they had finally replicated the problem. I was pleased to find out that I was neither crazy nor technically incompetent.

That was the good news. The bad news was that the email went on to say, “We can’t promise a time frame for when the team will look at this or how it will be prioritised, that will depend on other projects the team are working on as well as their priorities. It’s on our radar, however!” Sheesh!

Well, I’m pleased to say that this tale of woe has a happy ending. I downloaded the latest update to the WordPress iOS app yesterday and the case of the missing buttons has been fixed!

So, in the interest of giving credit where credit is due, I’m using this post as a way of saying thank you to the Happiness Engineers who — eventually, anyway — fixed the bug.