Share Your World — Stress Relief, the Afterlife, Koalas, and Creepy Tech

Share Your WorldIt’s Monday and that means that Melanie, over at Sparks From a Combustible Mind, has asked us to participate in her weekly Share Your World prompt. So let’s get to it.

What do you do to get rid of stress?

According to the New York City Health Department, I should masturbate. But I’m also I’m watching less news and my wife and I are playing a lot of very competitive games of Yahtzee, Backgammon, 500 Rummy, and that old no-brainer standby card game, War!

In the past people were buried with the items they would need in the afterlife, what would you want buried with you so you could use it in the afterlife?

First, as an atheist, I don’t believe there is such a thing as an “afterlife.” When it’s over, it’s over, so I have no need for toys after I’m dead. Because I’ll be dead! Second, I intend to be cremated, so anything I would take with me would be, like my physical body, be relegated to ashes.

What’s the opposite of a koala? (This is strictly for fun. I know what I came up with as an answer, but it was nonsensical. Alaok. See? It’s okay to pass on this one too if you want)

What kind of question is that? That’s like asking what is the opposite of human. The answer: Republicans in the U.S. Congress. But back to Koalas. They look so cute and cuddly. So I’m going to go with grizzly bears, who will tear you to shreds over a package of Oreo cookies.

What’s the creepiest tech out there? (My interpretation of “tech” is app or program. If you know what “tech” is supposed to mean, hey! Great! Educate us.

The creepiest tech is the tech used by hackers to steal your identity.

GRATITUDE IS AN ATTITUDE

What method are you using to find your smile right now? Please explain in detail so others might utilize the same ideas. Some bloggers have shared a daily (weekly sometimes) method that they are using to keep their spirits up right now. I’d love to hear from anyone who does and is successful at it! Have a great week and stay safe!

Today I received delivery of 18 rolls of toilet paper and 18 boxes of facial tissues. And, oh boy, that made me smile!

Also, this item that I received in an email today made me smile:

If Trump were captain of the RMS Titanic

There isn’t any iceberg.
There was an iceberg but it’s in a totally different ocean.
The iceberg is in this ocean but it will melt very soon.
There is an iceberg but we didn’t hit the iceberg.
We hit the iceberg, but the damage will be repaired very shortly.
The iceberg is a Chinese iceberg.
We are taking on water but every passenger who wants a lifeboat can get a lifeboat, and they are beautiful lifeboats.

Look, passengers need to ask nicely for the lifeboats if they want them.
We don’t have any lifeboats, we’re not lifeboat distributors.
Passengers should have planned for icebergs and brought their own lifeboats.
I really don’t think we need that many lifeboats.
We have lifeboats and they’re supposed to be our lifeboats, not the passengers’ lifeboats.
The lifeboats were left on shore by the last captain of this ship.
Nobody could have foreseen the iceberg.

Are Dead People Voyeurs?

CEB274F9-BD76-4B99-A978-93702D2271F0I was watching a TV show the other night when one character said to the other, “You’re father would be so proud of you. I bet he’s looking down from heaven right now with a big smile on his face.”

Yeah, right. Do people really belief that their dearly departed friends and relatives are looking down — or looking up, as the case may be — at them to see what they’re up to?

“Oh my God, Dan, that was the best sex ever. I bet your mom is looking down on you from heaven with a big smile on her face.” Oh wait, maybe it was Dan’s father who was looking up at him from hell and masturbating while watching Dan having a hot time with that blonde he picked up at that party. Hmm. Do the souls of dead people masturbate?

Do people really believe that the souls of their deceased loved ones are spending their days in the afterlife spying on their earthbound family members and pals? Do they do it all the time, or do they only do it when something extraordinarily good or bad happens?

And where’s the line? Are there boundaries, safe zones, where you can escape the prying dead eyes of the deceased? Like the bathroom, maybe. Is my mother watching me sitting on the toilet taking a dump and beaming about what a big boy I am?

Is there a statute of limitations? For example, are these dead voyeurs watching over us forever? Or are we sentenced to a finite number years after their death to be subjected to their constant observation? And how large is this circle of voyeurs? Just your parents or does it go back multiple generations and include more watchers than your immediate family and closest friends?

In the interest of full disclosure, I’m an atheist and I don’t believe in the notion of an afterlife. But I’m genuinely interested in hearing from those who are believers. Do you believe that the souls of your deceased loved ones — your parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and closest friends — are looking down at you, watching what you’re doing day in and day out?

I’m not trying to be an asshole. I really want to know what you believe. Tell me in the comments or write your own post and link it back to this post.

Thanks!

Tale Weaver — What Goes Around Comes Around

77CABE39-E4B8-4142-99BC-AAF4B86762B7Or does it?

This week’s Tale Weaver prompt is all about karma. It asks the age-old question, is karma just a myth, wishful thinking on some people’s part, or is it real?

Some religions (e.g., Hinduism and Buddhism) define karma as the sum of a person’s actions in this (and previous states) of existence, and that such actions will be a key factor in deciding their fate in their future existences.

In Christianity, karma is more of a as “what goes around comes around” concept. The Bible says, “Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.” This is more of a “you get what you give” concept. Or as the Beatles sang, “And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.”

I am not a religious person. I don’t believe in reincarnation. Hell, I don’t even believe in the “afterlife.” So, no, I don’t buy into either of these — or any other — notions of karma. I’m not a reap what you sow kind of a guy.

I simply make a conscious choice to live my life as a decent, caring, giving, and honest person. I subscribe to the so-called Golden Rule of doing unto others. But it’s not because I’m worried that if I don’t, I’ll spend an eternity in damnation. Or because after I die I’ll be reborn as a jackass or something. I live my life that way because it’s the right thing to do and because I’m human.

Besides, if there was such a thing as Karma, Donald Trump would be toast by now.

So there you go. No tale weaved today. Just a little exposé on my thoughts on karma.

Y is for YOLO

8F9F6D3D-F748-4BC1-9E61-0AFFAA750343YOLO is an acronym for “you only live once.” It first became part of the vernacular when chart-topping Canadian rapper Drake popularized the term “YOLO” with “The Motto,” a bonus track from his 2011 album, Take Care.

Essentially, YOLO suggests that one should make the most of the present moment without worrying about the future, even if it means embracing behaviors that carry inherent risk.

The phrase “you only live once” inspires people to throw caution to the wind and follow their whims, wherever they may lead. Along the same lines as the Latin “carpe diem” (seize the day), it is a call to live life to its fullest extent, since it’s the only life you have.

My philosophy of life has a YOLO component to it. It’s not that I live only for today with no thoughts about the future. And I’m certainly not one who embraces risky behaviors. However, as someone who doesn’t believe in reincarnation or in an afterlife, I do believe that the life we lead is the only life we have, so we should try to make the most of it.

Living on Borrowed Time

A friend of mine told me about a site he found on the web called “Death Clock,” or something like that. He said you answer a few questions, like date of birth, where you live, health status, if you drink alcohol or smoke cigarettes, and your overall outlook on life. Based upon your answers, the app will come back at you with the date you are projected to die.

Now I’m not obsessed with death or anything, but I thought it might be interesting to find out what these sites projected my death date to be. So I Googled “Death Clock.”

The first site I went to, dealthcock.com, told me I have a little over two years to live.

I didn’t particularly like that answer so I tried a different site, death-clock.org, and, surprise surprise, I got a different, and better, answer:

That gives me about 12 1/2 years. Woo hoo!

But then I tried a third site and the answer wasn’t so good:

I’m already dead, according to fatefulday.eu.

So either two years and two months, 12 years and six months, or I’m already dead and living on borrowed time.

And to think I didn’t believe in an afterlife. Apparently, I’m already there and it’s inside of the WordPress app!