SoCS — Word Not Found

For this week’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt, Linda G. Hill asks us about a word we have to look up. She says, “We all have words we can never spell. Use one of yours in your post and let that word drive your stream of consciousness wherever it goes.”

I used to be an excellent speller in my younger days. But then, as I got older, my brain started to shrink and has now apparently exceeded its maximum word capacity, requiring it to run some diagnostics and to perform a raw data purge. As a result, words that I used to absolutely know how to spell without doubt or hesitation, are sending me 404 Error – Word Not Found messages, forcing me to go to either Google or to figure out how to correctly spell the damn word.

The most recent example of this inability to spell a word that I’ve correctly spelled countless times was the word “aficionado.” I was actually writing an email to my brother-in-law when I typed that word — or at least what I thought was the correct way to spell that word — and that pesky squiggly red line appeared under the word I had typed, a sure sign that my email app was telling me I wasn’t spelling it correctly.

I had typed “officianado.” Then I removed the second “f” and the resulting spelling, “oficianado,” still had that squiggly red line under it. Dammit.

I went to Google and did a search on “oficianado” and this is what I saw:Of-fucking-course! It’s “aficionado” with an “a” and not an “o” at the beginning. And it’s “cionado” and not “cianado.”

I knew that! Or I used to know that, anyway.

FFfPP — Best Croissants in Town

img_2178“I heard this place makes the best croissants in the city,” Seth said.

“Well, I’ll have you know that I’m a croissant aficionado,” Carl said, “and I will reserve judgment until I have sampled one.”

“Okay,” Seth said. “Let’s do this thing.”

The two of them walked into the Bread Ahead store. As they approached the counter, the clerk greeted them with a smile and said, “Good morning, gentleman. What can I get for you?”

Seth was the first to answer. “I’ll have a chocolate almond croissant and a vanilla latte,” he said.

Carl looked at Seth with disdain. “A chocolate almond croissant? Seriously? How can you evaluate the quality of a croissant when it contains all that crap?”

“But I love chocolate almond croissants.”

Ignoring his friend, Carl addressed the girl behind the counter. “A plain croissant and a black coffee,” he said.

The girl handed Seth a tray with their coffees and croissants and they found table.

“Rich, buttery, flaky, puffed, and layered,” Carl said after examining and tasting the croissant as a sommelier might taste test a fine wine.

“And the verdict?” Seth asked.

“The best croissants in town,” Carl acknowledged with a broad smile.

(198 words)

Written for Flash Fiction for the Purposeful Practioner from Roger Shipp. Photo credit: Daria Shevtsova pexels-photo-1070945.

It’s What I Do


“Why are you constantly searching for loopholes?” the reporter asked.

“That’s my job, son,” the interviewee said. “I try to find where the other guy screwed up and exploit it when doing so is in the interests of my clients. And there are always loopholes.”

“And the other guy’s lawyers try to do that to you as well, huh?”

“Of course,” the law firm’s senior partner said. “But if I’m doing my job right, they won’t find any loopholes in my work products to exploit.”

“So you consider yourself to be a loophole expert?”

“Most definitely,” the attorney said, his voice full of pride. “My job is to search and destroy, to find the other guy’s weakness and capitalize on it. It’s what I do.”

“So what you’re telling me is that you’re an asshole aficionado.”

“You mean ‘loophole’ aficionado,” the lawyer said.

“If you say so,” the reporter said, turned off his recorder and thanked the attorney for his time.

Somewhat flustered by the abrupt end to the interview, the attorney said, “I’m looking forward to seeing the draft of your exposé before it’s published.”

“That’s not going to happen,” the reporter said. “I guess you missed that loophole when you signed the consent form for this interview. And as you said, ‘There are always loopholes.’”

Written for today’s one-word prompt, “loophole.”

FFfAW — Imagine Dragons

A50CC291-3C2B-4117-B483-4FA3F86887A4“Hey Craig. How did it go at the show?”

“Oh hello, Frank,” Craig responded. “It went okay, I suppose. I did sell the dragons, both of them, to one buyer.”

“That’s terrific, Craig,” Frank said. “But you don’t seem that psyched about having sold them.”

“Yeah, well I was hoping to get a little more money for the dragons,” Craig explained. “They took me a long time to weld and I was looking forward to having some rich collector, you know, an aficionado of metalwork or something, express an interest in my work and maybe even become my patron who would fund my future work.”

“But you did say you sold them both to one buyer. So why so glum?”

“Because the guy who bought them owns Norstar, the recycling place out on Dohertys Road.”

“What’s wrong with that?” Frank asked.

Craig sighed. “Norstar’s a freakin’ junk yard in the middle of nowhere. Nobody’s gonna see them. My dragons deserve better, like to be in a museum or at a public plaza, you know.”

(173 words)

Written for this week’s Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers from Priceless Joy. Image credit: Enisa.