This, That, and the Other

Di (aka Pensitivity101) hosts Fibbing Friday, a silly little exercise where we are to write a post with our answers to the ten questions below. But as the title suggests, truth is not an option. The idea is to fib a little, a lot, tell whoppers, be inventive, silly, or even outrageous, in our responses. For this week’s Fibbing Friday, in honor of the coronation of King Charles III and Queen Camilla tomorrow, Di has invited us to a fictitious major event. Here are her questions for us.

1. What would you do if you found yourself seated next to a disgraced member of the family?

Shake his or her hand and ask if it was worth it.

2. How would you react if you were subjected to ‘Hatgate’? That is someone with a monstrous hat being seated in front of you.

I’d whip out my trusty, portable Dirt Devil vacuum and suck that monstrous hat right off of her head.

3. Photographs are not allowed, but you have a plan to take pictures. What is it?

I’d have a sophisticated, miniature spy camera affixed to my lapel that could take a photo every time I tapped it.

4. The person on your left has fallen asleep. How would you wake them discreetly?

I’d whip out my trusty air horn and blow it in their ear.

5. The grand entrance occurs and something is not quite right from your point of view. What is it?

The king has no clothes on.

6. After the service, it’s time for the buffet. Not quite sure where you’re supposed to go, what do you do?

Check Google Maps.

7. Making small talk over the canapés is awkward. What do you do to make it less so?

I’d stuff so many canapés into my mouth that I couldn’t talk and if someone says something to me, I’d shrug my shoulders and point to my mouth.

8. Time for the speeches and they seem to go on for hours. What do you do to keep awake?

Stick my Apple AirPods into my ears and listen to a good audiobook.

9. You are suddenly asked to say a few words at the podium. How do you react?

I’d point to my mouth full of canapés and shrug my shoulders.

10. It has been a tiring experience and you catch 40 winks in a quiet corner. When you wake up, the venue is in darkness. What do you do?

Look around to see if I could find any leftover canapés. They were delicious.