For this week’s Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie Friday Faithfuls, Jim Adams has asked us about the inevitably of our own deaths. Well, isn’t that an interesting topic for a Friday the 13th?
Jim asks these questions:
Do you hate talking about your death and are you planning to postpone all the decisions and leave them up to somebody else?
I do not particularly like talking about death, but I know it’s inevitable, so my wife and I are prepared, at least legally. We have living wills documenting the distribution of our assets, and we have our home in a revocable trust deed with our children as beneficiaries. So we are prepared in that regard.
Have you made any arrangements that will determine what you would want to happen when you die?
As far as our assets, yes (see answer above).
If you can no longer take care of yourself, would you like to live in a nursing home or receive in-home care from a caregiver?
I’d rather be at home with a caregiver, but if it ever gets to the point where I’m either physically or mentally incapable of caring for myself, I’m glad I live in a state that permits death with dignity.
Do you have a will, and do you know how you want your assets to be distributed?
Yes. See my response to the first question.
If you have pets, have you figured out what will happen to them?
It will be up to our kids to make that determination.
Do you have life insurance, and do you think it is enough to take care of your final expenses?
We have small life insurance policies, but I am confident that the money in my retirement savings should be more than sufficient to cover such “final” expenses.
Do you want a big funeral?
I don’t want a funeral at all. Just a simple farewell with my immediate family.
Have you decided where you will be buried, or if you want to be cremated, or if you are donating your body to science?
I had decided to be cremated, but now that human composting, or natural organic reduction, is legal in California, I’m thinking about going that route.
Will you be writing your own eulogy?
No. My eulogy will be this:
This, That, and the Other 
The love you take will be the love you make, nice eulogy. I figured that you were all set for whatever happens, but I am hoping that you stick around for a long time.
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So do I, Jim!
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One should be prepared for the final journey
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I don’t think I’ll need a eulogy
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Perfect song, perfect farewell.
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Great song. Your answers make sense to me.
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That’s a nice upbeat song for a eulogy, and sure seems fitting for you. I haven’t decided on a song or an obituary or anything like that. I do feel the same way about not having a funeral and just having a simple farewell. Cremation is the easiest way for others not to need to think or spend too much in a difficult time, I’ll probably go with that. But I have a little bit of acreage where the composted body could go — maybe that. I used to think I’d donate my body to science, but they want you to go through all kinds of stuff for that ahead of time, I’m pretty sure; blah. I have plenty to cover final arrangements, especially the simple ones of which I speak, as things look right now. Yet, my mom is trying to use up anything I have for my life in the years before that. I don’t mean she’s using up “her” money, although she’s doing that too (with scammers, my dad’s money and her smaller bit; on nothing good or even selfish for herself except that she seems bent on… dare I say enjoying the evil… of stubborn and cruel ways for no purpose but narcissism). She called my sister-like cousin, who is my age and hoping not to need to work many more years, and begged for food and a pick-up delivery of medication recently… shows no signs of stopping the ridiculous behavior. She has a plentiful income. She called that same cousin for money and rides when that cousin’s wife was going through chemotherapy, even at the very moment of the pair heading off for treatment. I’m not happy about the topic of late years, today. I’m usually not bothered by the topic of the years or the end and feel mostly peaceful about it, but my mom has figured out ways to make every stage of my life difficult and less joyful than said stages could be. Everything is always all about her whims and impulses. And yet she will go on and on lecturing with the “right” or best things others should do (because, and only because, the words are pouring forth from her). Everyone resents it. Everyone is trying to do the best they can to provide for themselves. She doesn’t think of that… except to the sickening extent of the long and bossy texts that are nonsense coming from her. As you can tell, the vibe is heavy right now. The cousin has her own mother to look in on, a twin of similar* ways.
Now, why did she call my cousin? The punches to the gut keep on coming. Because she played along with a scammer to lie about me and obtain a protection order after he had run and threatened to run his vehicle at me (such that I had gotten an order against him… the only one I’ve ever filed).
* Similar but not the same. The twin planned ahead. No one, on her behalf, has to commit to a pending blank check with an attorney of unknown scruples and skills. And one after another it is. Still… the twin listened to the scammer, looks like a friend to them, who called her in her sealed up group home… told my mom to cast me aside. There’s just this bile. I had been happily visiting her, too. Where does the sick come from?
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This twin is the one who married an abuser. She did divorce him when she figured it out. Somehow, though, the two don’t see it.
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How to Cure Cannibal Capitalism | Nancy Fraser
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Good end song 🙂
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Good eulogy.
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I don’t think many people like talking about death. I do think it’s good to be prepared for it though, just for loved one. Funerals are for the living. My Aunt passed recently and her “husband” has handled it REALLY badly. He absolutely used my Aunt for her money, and it’s showing now. No funeral, the death noticed only included him and his sister. Not her children, grandchildren, her siblings, friends. Yeah, you want to be prepared.
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My best friends husband was a huge Beatles fan and chose this song to be played at his funeral – he died of kidney cancer at 53 – and every time I hear it I think of him…
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