Mick, the bartender, nodded.
“That spouse of mine don’t know her place, dammit,” Malcolm groused. “You know what she had the nerve to say to me?”
Mick shook his head from side to side.
“She said that I smell bad, that I have a pungent odor that she finds offensive,” Malcolm said. “Can you believe that? Then she says I need to spruce myself up, clean up my act, she tells me. Or else she’s gonna leave me. Imagine her threatening to leave me? How draconian is that, for crissake?”
“Mal,” Mick said, “have you ever taken note about how nobody ever sits next to you when you’re sitting here at the bar? In fact, you’re given a pretty wide berth. Do you know why that is, Mal?”
“Enlighten me,” Malcolm sarcastically said.
“Allow me to be blunt, Mal,” Mick said. “You really do smell bad. Pungent is a euphemism. You stink to high heaven. Do you ever bathe?”
“Of course I bathe,” Malcolm said. “Every other Saturday.”
Mick looked at Malcolm and said, “Listen, pal, go home, shave, shower, brush your teeth, comb your hair, put on some aftershave, get dressed in some clean clothes, take your wife out to her favorite restaurant, and pay attention to her. Listen to her. Maybe, just maybe, you’ll manage to salvage your marriage.”
Written for these daily prompts: Ragtag Daily Prompt (it), The Daily Spur (push), Fandango’s One Word Challenge (spouse), My Vivid Blog (pungent), Your Daily Word Prompt (spruce), and Word of the Day Challenge (draconian).