Confessions to a Bartender

“I’ve had it,” Malcolm declared. “That’s the last straw.” He took a large swig of beer from his mug. “There’s only so far a woman can push her man, you know what I’m sayin’, pal?”

Mick, the bartender, nodded.

“That spouse of mine don’t know her place, dammit,” Malcolm groused. “You know what she had the nerve to say to me?”

Mick shook his head from side to side.

“She said that I smell bad, that I have a pungent odor that she finds offensive,” Malcolm said. “Can you believe that? Then she says I need to spruce myself up, clean up my act, she tells me. Or else she’s gonna leave me. Imagine her threatening to leave me? How draconian is that, for crissake?”

“Mal,” Mick said, “have you ever taken note about how nobody ever sits next to you when you’re sitting here at the bar? In fact, you’re given a pretty wide berth. Do you know why that is, Mal?”

“Enlighten me,” Malcolm sarcastically said.

“Allow me to be blunt, Mal,” Mick said. “You really do smell bad. Pungent is a euphemism. You stink to high heaven. Do you ever bathe?”

“Of course I bathe,” Malcolm said. “Every other Saturday.”

Mick looked at Malcolm and said, “Listen, pal, go home, shave, shower, brush your teeth, comb your hair, put on some aftershave, get dressed in some clean clothes, take your wife out to her favorite restaurant, and pay attention to her. Listen to her. Maybe, just maybe, you’ll manage to salvage your marriage.”


Written for these daily prompts: Ragtag Daily Prompt (it), The Daily Spur (push), Fandango’s One Word Challenge (spouse), My Vivid Blog (pungent), Your Daily Word Prompt (spruce), and Word of the Day Challenge (draconian).

Reblog: I’ve Been Pondering …

Had I written this post, I would have titled it “The Gaslighting of America.” Jill has written a great post, one worth both reading and pondering. But I think she buried the lede. Americans have been gaslighted. We have been manipulated and persuaded that talk and actions that once were considered to be unacceptable — and still should be unacceptable — are small blips and minor annoyances. And instead of responding to them as we should, we whine about them for a few days and then move on, in essence, normalizing the unacceptable.

Please take a moment to read Jill’s excellent post. If you have thoughts or comments about her post, please express them on her post.

I’ve been pondering what seems like the recent ‘normalization’ of such things as anti-Semitism, Naziism, racism, political corruption, disrespect, …

I’ve Been Pondering …

Truthful Tuesday — From Here to There

Di, of Pensitivity101, is our host for Truthful Tuesday. This week, Di asks us:

How do you prefer to travel (plane, car, boat, bike, train, other)?

These days (since 2019, anyway), I haven’t been doing much traveling, other than in and around the San Francisco Bay Area where I live. Thus, most of my limited travel has been via car (or bicycle for short trips into town or for some exercise).

If I had to travel a relatively long distance, my mode of transportation would depend upon whether or not there was a sense of urgency to get me from point A to point B, or if it was a more leisurely, vacation type of trip.

I hate flying anymore after having done it for my job for so many years. So the only way I would get on a plane would be if I had to be at my destination in hours. Otherwise, I’d prefer traveling by car and stopping at interesting sites along the way.

I also enjoy taking the train when time is not of the essence and the destination is reachable by train. As to boats, I have been on a few cruise ships, but I don’t have any interest in going on any more cruises at this point. Almost everyone I know who has been on a cruise in 2021 or 2022 has contracted COVID. So I’ll take a hard pass on travel by boat.

Fandango’s Story Starter #76

It’s time for my weekly Story Starter prompt. Here’s how it works. Every Tuesday morning (my time), I’m going to give you a “teaser” sentence and your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to build a story (prose or poetry) around that sentence. It doesn’t have to be the first sentence in your story, and you don’t even have to use it in your post at all if you don’t want to. The purpose of the teaser is simply to spark your imagination and to get your storytelling juices flowing.

This week’s Story Starter teaser is:

It was early in the morning, just after the crack of dawn, when I heard the insistent knocking at my door and I immediately knew…

If you care to write and post a story built from this teaser, be sure to link back to this post and to tag your post with #FSS. I would also encourage you to read and enjoy what your fellow bloggers do with their stories.

And most of all, have fun.

FOWC with Fandango — Spouse

FOWC

It’s December 13, 2022. Welcome to Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (aka, FOWC). I will be posting each day’s word just after midnight Pacific Time (U.S.).

Today’s word is “spouse.”

Write a post using that word. It can be prose, poetry, fiction, non-fiction. It can be any length. It can be just a picture or a drawing if you want. No holds barred, so to speak.

Once you are done, tag your post with #FOWC and create a pingback to this post if you are on WordPress. Please check to confirm that your pingback is there. If not, please manually add your link in the comments.

And be sure to read the posts of other bloggers who respond to this prompt. Show them some love.