I get some interesting spam comments on my blog, most of which are captured by Akismet, WordPress’ spam blocker. I generally do a mass delete of all of my spam comments after checking to see if any legitimate comments got caught up in Akismet’s spam-catching net.
I thought it might be fun to select a particularly interesting or unique or outrageous spam comment and highlight it each week. This week’s spam comment was made on my 9/26/22 Flash Fiction prompt.
Wonderful items from you, man. I’ve havbe in miind your stuff prkor tto and you’re simlly tooo magnificent.
I actually like what you have acquirrd here, reaqlly likme wgat you’re stating and the wway
through whichh you assert it. You’re making itt eentertaining aand you still take ccare of tto stayy it
smart. I can’t waiot tto lezrn ffar more from you.
Thatt iss really a wondserful website.
First, Mr. or Ms. Spammer, I strongly recommend that you find a decent spell-checker. Second, thank you, I guess, for finding my blog “tooo magnificent” and for appreciating my “wonderful items” that I have “acquired.” Coming from you, those compliments are “simlly tooo magnificent.”
Anyway, have you read some catchy spam comments that you’d like to share with us? If so, put them in the comments or create your own post and tag it #FSCW.
This, That, and the Other 
You get all the good stuff, Fandango.
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That’s because my blog is “tooo magnificent.”
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I wrote a post titled Blogs Are Made Up of Posts for Blogging Insights the other day and it accumulated over 600 Spam comments, mostly from pharmaceutical pushers.
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Yikes! That’s a boatload of spam comments. Any good ones you’d care to highlight?
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Mostly Viagra, Cialis and other advertisements where somebody probably thinks that I have a limp noodle.
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😂
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I gotta limp noodle, limp doodle I do
Please send this spammer my way
I wanna rise up for occasion
My lady she thinks I’m a gay
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I don’t know what I finally did right, but I haven’t been getting any SPAM. I think it might be that I closed comments on all posts after 21 days old (Settings –> Discussion). Not sure though…
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I get maybe 20-30 spam comments a day, but there was a time I was getting ten times that. Then I closed comments on posts over 60 days old and it dropped way down. Maybe I should cut it down to 21 days, too.
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Don’t you dare join the 21-Day Cut-Off Club……….
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How about 22 days?
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Because I like you I’ll make allowances……
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Aha, so your one of those I land on and badly want to leave a comment only to find – sorry Don, too late mate…….
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Get it while it’s hot, Don! Hehe
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Yes. Too much going on Paula. You know the problem……
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Sounds legit. 😆😆😆
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😁😅😩🥸🤪🙀😹🤡
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Here’s one:
Oh my goodness! Impressive article dude! Thanks, However I am having problems with your RSS. I donít understand why I cannot subscribe to it. Is there anybody having identical RSS problems? Anyone who knows the answer will you kindly respond? Thanks!!
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Yeah, I think I’ve received that comment as well. 🤷🏻♂️
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What’s RSS?…….
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I think it’s Russian Secret Service.
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Gosh….. Ruth seems to be having trouble also ‘However I am having problems with your RSS. I don’t understand why I cannot subscribe to it. Is there anybody having identical RSS problems? Anyone who knows the answer will you kindly respond?’
I would tread carefully here Fan. Vladimir has close connections with the RSS. This could be dangerous. I would warn Ruth.
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Ruth. Fan says RSS is the Russian Secret Service. See his comment below.
I am a bit worried. I replied to him :
Gosh Fan….. Ruth seems to be having trouble also “However I am having problems with your RSS. I don’t understand why I cannot subscribe to it. Is there anybody having identical RSS problems? Anyone who knows the answer will you kindly respond?”
I would tread carefully here Fan. Vladimir has close connections with the RSS. This could be dangerous. I would warn Ruth.
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It’s spam. I don’t reply. Thank you.
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Yes . Stay away from spam. Can get you into trouble…….
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Yep
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I went through about 100 spam messages and picked these top 3:
An intriguing discussion is definitely worth comment. I think that you ought to write more on this subject, it might not be a taboo subject but generally people don’t speak about such subjects. To the next! Kind regards!!
The next time I read a blog, Hopefully it does not disappoint me just as much as this one. After all, Yes, it was my choice to read through, however I really thought you would have something interesting to talk about. All I hear is a bunch of whining about something that you can fix if you weren’t too busy seeking attention.
Definitely consider that which you said. Your favorite reason seemed to be on the internet thhe smplest ting to consider
of. I say to you, I certainly get irked evesn as other folks consider issues that they plainly doo nott
recognize about. You controlled to hit the nail upon the
highest andd also definedd ouut the whole thing without having side-effects , other flks can take a signal.
Willl probably be back to get more. Thanks!
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That last one needs a spell-checker, too! 😂
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🙂 What is the point of that spam anyway? It gets filtered out by the system and serves no useful purpose I can see. I highly doubt anyone would read one and say oh I need to follow that link and buy the product lol
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Some might. Remember the Nigerian prince?
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Hilarious! I think whoever posted this was using a software to translate their words
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I wonder which one. I’ll never use that one!
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Perhaps it’ll remain a mystery
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He either needs to return to 1st grade, or learn English … I suspect the latter. I get many like that, too, and I also get some that are entirely in … Russian? Arabic? Some language that uses an entirely different alphabet. And I get some that are more than 2,000 words! Ahhhhh … technology. I’m thankful for Akismet, though … it does a pretty good job, though it does occasionally let a legit comment slip through.
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My best spam comments are too disgusting to post, although the spelling and grammar is, to say the least, remarkable. I get too types: the one that praises my incredible work and the ones that tell me I suck. But the 2000 word porn posts — they clearly think I’m a horny guy — are the most astonishing for sheer variety and negative eloquence. They are especially good when them come in Chinese or what I think is Urdu but really, it could be anything since none of the letters are recognizable.
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Of course, this comment went right to my trash folder because you used the word “porn” in it and that word is on my list to go directly to trash, do not pass Go, and do not collect $200!
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I have that problem too. The spam blocker doesn’t deal with context.
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Oh and thank you for recommending I lower the days my posts are open for comment. Now I get between 10 and 50 a day, which beats out the thousands I was getting before. They aren’t less juicy, but they are at least FEWER.
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Glad that helped.
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Googled the meaning of ‘havbe’ Fan. Contraction of ‘have-been-there-and-dunnit’. eg havebe your latest post. How ’bout that?……
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If you found it on Google, it must be true.
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Google is my Bible. Elon’s given it his blessing. He told me, believe my son. I said thankyou for your guiding wisdom……To which he annointed me….Wot does that mean Fan?
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I think it means you drank the Kool-Aid.
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And I thought it was some special holy water?…….
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I forgot all about this and deleted my spam this morning. I’ll try to save a good one for next week
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👍
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I feel like I need a spam dictionary to decipher
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Lol. They get worse with each passing week! Spellcheck ahoy spammer! xo
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That is quite a message! Those are some fairly simple words too. Oh well, it makes for cheap entertainment!
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