Day: October 29, 2022

Spam Comment of the Week — Week 43 2022

Fandango49 Comments

I get some interesting spam comments on my blog, most of which are captured by Akismet, WordPress’ spam blocker. I generally do a mass delete of all of my spam comments after checking to see if any legitimate comments got caught up in Akismet’s spam-catching net.

I thought it might be fun to select a particularly interesting or unique or outrageous spam comment and highlight it each week. This week’s spam comment was made on my 9/26/22 Flash Fiction prompt.

Wonderful items from you, man. I’ve havbe in miind your stuff prkor tto and you’re simlly tooo magnificent.
I actually like what you have acquirrd here, reaqlly likme wgat you’re stating and the wway
through whichh you assert it. You’re making itt eentertaining aand you still take ccare of tto stayy it
smart. I can’t waiot tto lezrn ffar more from you.
Thatt iss really a wondserful website.

First, Mr. or Ms. Spammer, I strongly recommend that you find a decent spell-checker. Second, thank you, I guess, for finding my blog “tooo magnificent” and for appreciating my “wonderful items” that I have “acquired.” Coming from you, those compliments are “simlly tooo magnificent.”

Anyway, have you read some catchy spam comments that you’d like to share with us? If so, put them in the comments or create your own post and tag it #FSCW.

Weekend Writing Prompt — Slam Dunk

Fandango8 Comments

When we lived near Boston, Dunkin Donuts was the place to go for coffee and donuts. People would go there for coffee and dunk their donuts in their coffee. Yum!

My job at the time required a lot of travel. I earned tons of frequent flier miles, which made upgrading to first class a slam dunk.

Speaking of slam dunk, we lived near Chicago during the Michael Jordan era, and watching him slam dunk was poetry in motion.

(Exactly 78 words)

Written for Sammi Cox’s Weekend Writing Prompt, where the prompt is “dunk” in exactly 78 words

Question Time Over Coffee — Potpourri

Fandango20 Comments

Rory, over at Earthly Comforts, has posed a number of intriguing questions this morning. Let’s see if I can come up with some equally intriguing answers.

What ways are you adopting to save on energy bills?

We bought an electric car, so we saved a ton by not having to buy gas. We set the thermostat a few degrees higher in the summer and a few degrees lower in the winter in order to save a little on heating and cooling. We now shower every other day instead of daily, and we tore up all the grass in our front lawn and replaced it with a dry riverbed and low-water, drought-tolerant plants, but that’s more about the drought than saving on our water bill.

Are there too many TV channels today offering too much content choice and do you struggle to find something to watch – discuss.

Way too many. We watch shows on the three major broadcast networks (ABC, CBS, and NBC), but most of what we watch is on streaming services, like Netflix, Prime, Hulu, Apple TV+, HBO MAX, and Discovery+. We can usually find shows to binge-watch without too much difficulty.

How often do you read, watch, or listen to the news on the average week?

I peruse the local newspaper daily and read the weekly news digest magazine, The Week, regular. I read the headlines (and sometimes the content) of news articles that pop up on my newsfeed on my iPhone. As to TV news, I used to watch hours of it each day, but now I barely watch it anymore. It’s just too depressing.

What would you say are five important life skills people should know?

  • Critical thinking
  • Self-awareness
  • Empathy
  • Communication skills (including both verbal and written)
  • Decision-making

When at school how often did you complete your set homework?

Even though I was a bit of a procrastinator, I completed most homework assignments in a timely manner.

What don’t men understand about women and what do women want men to really know about them?

Everything and anything.

What do people want from life?

Happiness, good health, security, peace of mind, hope, fulfillment, and love.

What is your most comfortable pair of shoes and why?

The shoes I wear most often these days are Kizik step-in sneakers. They are incredibly comfortable and very convenient because they are literally hands-free. You put your foot in them while standing and slide it in. No need to bend down and lace them up. And when you take them off, you just pull your foot out.

If your favorite color wasn’t available what would be the next color you choose to wear on your head?

Black.

What are your Top 3 worst smells or scents?

  • Someone else’s farts. Mine are very sweet.
  • Extreme body odor
  • Bad breath

If you could spend a whole day in Disneyland with anyone – living or dead who would it be and why?

I have no interest in going to Disneyland ever again. So my answer is no one.

Are you a Halloweener and if so how and why and if not, why not?

My kids are both in their forties, so I am no longer a Halloweener or a Halloweenie. That said, I do hand out candy bars to kids who go trick or treating and knock at my door.

What job did you want to have when you were a child growing up and, more importantly, did it ever appear as an opportunity in any shape once as an adult?

When I was a young child I wanted to be a policeman, a fireman, a cowboy, a movie star, and a general. I never actually pursued any of those careers. I did, as a teenager, aspire to be a radio disc jockey, and when I was 20, I actually got a license from the FCC so I could take a job at the midnight to six a.m. shift at a small semi-rural top 40 radio station. Spending six hours spinning 45s and talking to myself when most of my prospective listeners were asleep (plus the less than poverty pay) cured me of my desire to be a radio disc jockey and I quit after three months.

SoCS — The Periodic Table of Elements

Fandango19 Comments

Alvin and Doris were college freshmen at State University. Alvin was in the engineering college, majoring in chemical engineering. Doris was in the liberal arts college, majoring in literature.

Alvin was a very handsome young man. Doris was a very pretty young woman. As a chemistry major, Alvin was in his element when his class began to study the periodic table of elements. Doris, on the other hand, was very much out of her element, not just in chemistry, but in all of the science courses. Her real love was poetry.

It just so happened that Alvin was out of his element when it came to the humanities and was clueless about poetry. And with Doris being out of her element in chemistry, it seemed almost serendipitous that these two attractive college freshmen would figure out a way to leverage one another’s strength to the benefit of both.

Doris made the first move, approaching Alvin and asking him if he could help her with learning the periodic table of elements. He gladly accepted the challenge, saying to her that teaching her all about the elements would be quite elementary. Doris appreciated Alvin’s play on words and offered to help him to understand poetry.

Alvin tutored Doris on the elements in the periodic table, while Doris introduced Alvin the basic elements of poetry, such as meter, rhyme, scheme, verse, and stanza. It was a win-win for the two of them.

As they got to know one another, the chemistry between them was elemental, like a powerful force of nature. Their relation flowed with a natural rhythm and all the elements of a lyric romantic poem.

Needless to say, Alvin and Doris fell in love during their freshman year at State University and even today, years later, their relationship maintains all of the elements of that love and all of the chemistry that binds them together.

Written for Linda G. Hill’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt. as you’ve probably guessed by now, Linda has given us the word “element” to play with.

No Jacket, No Service

Fandango11 Comments

“Oh come on, Leo,” Jack said. “I’ve been patronizing this place for years and now you’re telling me you won’t seat me because I’m jacketless? What the hell, Leo? Are you trying to class this place up? I see your white linen tablecloths, the cheesy wall art you probably picked up at a flea market, and the faux marble columns you’ve added, but this having to wear a sport coat thing is a bridge too far, dammit.”

“Jack,” Leo said, trying to be as congenial as he could, “I know you’ve been a good customer, and I don’t mean to alarm you, but I need to do something to win the race against going bankrupt. And, unfortunately, Jack, that means I have to raise prices and I need to appeal to a new breed of customers who are willing to pay more to eat at a classier restaurant. And that means jackets are required. It’s just business, Jack, and it’s survival.”

“So you’re not going to seat me?” Jack asked.

“Okay, Jack,” Leo said, “I have a spare jacket in the back. I’ll let you borrow it tonight and I’ll set you up at a table in the rear by the kitchen. But next time, remember, no jacket, no service.”

Written for these daily prompts: Fandango’s One Word Challenge (patronize), E.M.’s Random Word Prompt (jacketless), Ragtag Daily Prompt (art), My Vivid Blog (marble), Your Daily Word Prompt (congenial), Word of the Day Challenge (alarm), and The Daily Spur (race). Photo credit: Tony Cenicola/The New York Times.