Missing In Action

That’s right. Starting tomorrow (Sunday), I’m going to be mostly MIA for the next week. My wife and I, along with our son, daughter-in-law, and our two grandkids, will be renting a house together at a scenic spot along the California coast. I’m sure we’ll have a lot of activities during our week away, and that will leave me very little time to post, read, and respond to comments, or to read and comment on other bloggers’ posts.

The good news is that I have scheduled in advance my daily FOWC with Fandango one-word prompts. I have also scheduled a few of the other prompts that I host. But the bad news is that I will also likely miss responding to the word and photo prompts from other bloggers or doing much, if any, spontaneous posting while away.

But I should be back in action by next weekend. I’ll probably be exhausted from living in the same rental house with our two-and-a-half-year-old and one-year-old grandkids. So, I may need some time to unwind from my vacation.

In the meantime, I hope everyone has a fantastic week and I’ll see you on the flip side.

Weekend Writing Prompt — The Key

“It won’t work,” Sam said. “I’m sorry, Ben, but your plan is just not viable.”

“Of course it is viable,” Ben said.

“What about the weather?” Sam asked. “Your plan depends upon it being windy enough to get and keep your kite afloat. And on top of that, you need a bolt of lightning to strike the key attached to your kite string. It will never happen. Pulling energy from lightning? You are crazy, Ben.”

“Yes, crazy like a fox,” Ben said.

(Exactly 82 words)


Written for Sammi Cox’s Weekend Writing Prompt, where the word is “viable” in exactly 82 words.

Loaded Nachos

“I’m sorry for the delay,” the waiter said. “May I take your order?”

“I am not very happy with your service. I was getting ready to berate you to your manager when you didn’t respond to my waving at you or calling out to you,” Cliff said. “But in spite of how long it took you to get to our table, you’re finally here and I’m ready to order. We’d like a large platter of loaded nachos, but use the chips that are the kind with hint of citrus flavor and are crisp and crunchy. Make sure they are fresh and not stale. And we’ll also have a large pitcher of sangria. Make it snappy, will you?” Cliff added, snapping his fingers.

After the waiter left, Cliff turned to the other people sitting at the table and said, “So as I was saying, San Francisco is a very hilly city, but the section we live in is very flat and quite walkable.”

The waiter returned to the table and set down a huge platter of loaded nachos on the table. “Here you go sir,” he said to Cliff. “Just like you ordered them.”

The waiter turned and walked away, a sardonic smile on his face. Just like you ordered them, except for the two gobs of spit I added, he thought.


Written for these daily prompts: The Daily Spur (delay), My Vivid Blog (happy), E.M.’s Random Word Prompt (berated), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (spite), Ragtag Daily Prompt (citrus), Your Daily Word Prompt (crisp), and Word of the Day Challenge (crunchy).

Also for the Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie Opposing Forces Saturday Mix, where the words are “fresh/stale” and “flat/hilly.”

Rory’s Strange Questions

Rory, at Earthly Comforts, has, once again, posed a bunch of interesting strange questions. Here are my equally interesting strange answers.

Roses are red,
?,
?,
?
.
[I have started you off now finish the poem your way in the next three lines]

Roses are red
Republicans are too
If they take back Congress in November
We’ll all be standing in deep poopoo

What do you find odd about people?

People.

Which two questions are you asked the most on a regular basis that annoy you?

  • What do you do for a living? I’m fucking retired, can’t you see that?
  • What religion are you?

Who was the first Disney princess – Snow White or Cinderella?

Snow White? Or Cinderella? I don’t know and I don’t care.

What five questions would you ask a stranger in order to get to know them?

  • What’s your name?
  • Where are you from?
  • Are you married?
  • Do you have any kids?
  • Do you wanna have sex with me?

What habits do you consider really bad?

Smoking cigarettes.

Who was the female star of Breakfast at Tiffany’s?

Audrey Hepburn

Which Shakespeare play includes the following words? “Once more onto the breach, dear friends?”

The one I haven’t read, apparently.

Turkish Delight is a type of custard. True or false.

False. I think it’s some sort of chewy candy.

Have you ever seen something you simply couldn’t easily explain away and if so what was it?

Yes, anyone who still supports Donald Trump.

What is the difference between six and half a dozen?

The number of syllables.

What can you NOT compost?

Kitty litter and dog poop.

What is a major component of Welsh Rarebit?

Cheese?

How long is long in your eyes?

Either too long or not long enough, depending upon what we’re talking about?

Are butterflies attracted more to flowers or weeds – what do you think?

Flowers, I think.

One of your best friends has phoned for your help in the middle of the night to bury the body of your other best friend – do you help or not?

Fuck no.

Vatican City is a country – true or false?

For some inexplicable reason, it’s considered to be a country.

Name three things that freak you out and then explain why.

Far-right Republicans, white supremacists, and conspiracy theorists. Why? Do I really need to explain?

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To buy a dozen eggs at the local farm stand.

Bonus Question

What’s the worst thing that could happen to a compost pile do you think?

Construct an outhouse on top of it, maybe. Or perhaps that’s the best thing that could happen to it.

SoCS — Coming Home

Gary was heading to his car when his cellphone rang. It was his wife. “Hi, hon. Yeah, I’m in the Home Depot parking lot about to get into the car. I should be home in about 15 minutes. Of course I remembered that I’m taking the boys to the game tonight. Yes, I know they’re very excited. This is the last home series for our hometown heroes and I wouldn’t want the boys to miss tonight’s home game. Yeah, tell them that I love them and I’ll be home soon. Yes, I love you, too, babe. Bye.”

Five Hours Later

“Hi, sweetie,” Gary said. “The boys and I are in the car on the way home. They had a great time, but they’re both exhausted and are dozing in the back seat. Yeah, it was a fantastic game. We won and it was amazing when Jackson hit that inside-the-park homerun in the bottom of the ninth. When he slid across home plate to break the tie and give the home team the victory, there was pandemonium in the ballpark. Everyone in the home crowd was going crazy and the boys, well, I’ve never seen them so excited. They were actually crying tears of joy. I wish you could have been there with us. Anyway, it’s probably going to be a while before we get home. Traffic leaving the ballpark is really backed up. But I’ll get me and the boys home safely. Yeah, see you soon, babe. And, hey, keep your home fires burning for me, if you know what I mean. Love you. Bye.”


Written for Linda G. Hill’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt. Linda has asked us to use the word “home” as a noun, a verb, an adjective, or an adverb.