Friday Fictioneers — Have You Seen My Granddaughter?

“Excuse me,” the old man standing at the door of the second hand shop said to the sales clerk inside the store. “Have you seen my granddaughter?”

“What’s her name?” the woman asked.

“Isabel,” he said, “but she goes by Izzy. She works at a place that sells second hand goods.”

“I’m sorry,” the woman said, “no one by that name works here. Maybe she works at the Goodwill store about three blocks east of here.”

“Right,” the old man said. “She did mention Goodwill, but I thought she was talking about a guy named Will who worked with her.”

(100 words)

Written for Rochelle Wisoff-Fields’ Friday Fictioneers prompt. Photo credit: John Nixon.

Fibbing Friday — Mishmash

Di (aka Pensitivity101) and Melanie (Sparks From a Combustible Mind) alternate as hosts for Fibbing Friday, a silly little exercise where we are to write a post with our answers to the ten questions below. But as the title suggests, truth is not an option. The idea is to fib a little, a lot, tell whoppers, be inventive, silly, or even outrageous, in our responses. This week is Di ’s turn and she has given us a mishmash of questions.

1. What is liquid gold? It’s what becomes of your gold jewelry when you melt it down.

2. What is housemaid’s knee? Usually calloused.

3. Why is the Eiffel Tower so named? Because looking up at it from the ground, it’s an eyeful.

4. Can elephants swim? Yes, as long as they’re wearing floaties on their legs.

5. What is a pot hole? It’s a hole in the floor where potheads hide their stash of marijuana.

6. What is a woolly pulley? It’s what they call a baby woolly mammouth.

7. What is a tap washer? It’s another name for a bathtub spigot.

8. Why do we have warts on our fingers but corns on our toes? For the same reason we have rings on our fingers and bells on our toes.

9. What is a pendulum? It’s a conundrum that swings one way or the other.

10. Where will you find a pupil and iris? In little Iris’ third grade classroom.


The United States Supreme Court’s priorities are all fucked up. Yesterday, as I wrote here, the six conservative justices overturned a 100 year old law in New York related to carrying guns. Today, the same six conservative justices overturned Roe v. Wade, the 50 year old decision legalizing abortions in the United States.

It seems that the Republican priorities for America are protecting the rights of gun owners and the National Rifle Association while taking away the personal rights of women to manage their own reproductive health.

What’s next? Banning contraception and gay marriage? Well, according to conservative Supreme Court Justice Clarance Thomas, the Supreme Court should reconsider rulings that protect contraception and same-sex marriage.

I don’t hate this country, but I do hate what Republicans are doing to this country.

It’s a Wrap!

“Cut!” the director shouted. “I deem that the scene where the gremlin jumps out from behind the furniture and scares that poor little freckle-faced girl is a wrap. Good job everyone. Let’s take 15 before we start shooting the next scene.”

The director looked around the soundstage and bellowed, “I need a cup of coffee now and that tenderfoot craft services apprentice is never hereabouts when I need him.”

“Sorry sir,” a meek voice behind the angry director said. Handing the director’s mug to him, the kid said, “I know you’re a director, but there’s no need to make a scene over this. I went to get your coffee as you were wrapping up that last scene and I asked them to brew a fresh pot because I know how you like your coffee freshly brewed.”

The director grabbed the mug from the apprentice’s hand and walked away without so much as a thank you. The kid just stood there and softly mumbled “you’re welcome” under his breath.

Written for these daily prompts: E.M.’s Random Word Prompt (deem), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (scene), Word of the Day Challenge (gremlin), My Vivid Blog (furniture), The Daily Spur (freckle), Ragtag Daily Prompt (tenderfoot), and Your Daily Word Prompt (hereabouts).

Fandango’s Flashback Friday — June 24th

Wouldn’t you like to expose your newer readers to some of your earlier posts that they might never have seen? Or remind your long term followers of posts that they might not remember? Each Friday I will publish a post I wrote on this exact date in a previous year.

How about you? Why don’t you reach back into your own archives and highlight a post that you wrote on this very date in a previous year? You can repost your Friday Flashback post on your blog and pingback to this post. Or you can just write a comment below with a link to the post you selected.

If you’ve been blogging for less than a year, go ahead and choose a post that you previously published on this day (the 24th) of any month within the past year and link to that post in a comment.

This was originally posted on June 24, 2014 on my old blog.

Nothing to Write About

I don’t know what to write about today. I’ve been posting daily for a while now, and something always seems to pop into my head just in time for me to write about it.

Or a WordPress Daily Prompt comes to my rescue. But today’s prompt doesn’t do anything for me.

I’m not in the mood to rant about anything today and I don’t have any inspirational ideas for a piece of flash fiction, either.

It’s not as if there’s nothing going on the world that’s blogworthy. There’s all that crap still going on in Iraq, which, according to Dick Cheney, is all Obama’s fault.

The Supreme Court, in its infinite wisdom, has decided that anti-abortion protesters at abortion clinics are civil, respectful people who just wish to inform and educate women who are seeking an abortion about their alternatives. They really are sweethearts, those anti-abortion protesters.

Oh, there’s the World Cup (yawn). And baseball’s All-Star game is coming up in mid-July (double yawn).

Strange weather patterns are all around us, with severe droughts in some parts of the country and heavy rains and flooding in others. I’m sure it has nothing to do with climate change, though.

Have you heard about poor Hillary Clinton? I mean that literally. Poor Hillary. Just ask her. She says she’s dead broke.

The Pope has excommunicated all Mafia mobsters. That will teach ‘em. No doubt they’ll change their evil ways.

The IRS lost a bunch of emails due to a computer crash. I’m going to use that line the next time I’m called in for a tax audit. They should be able to relate to “I don’t have any of my tax records because my hard drive died.”

An ex-Goldman Sachs trader who told his mother he was going to get a $13 million bonus is suing his former employer because he only got a discretionary bonus of $8.25 million. Maybe he can float a loan to poor Hillary.

And then there was the American exchange student in Germany who climbed inside a giant stone sculpture of a vagina, got stuck, and had to be pulled out of the vagina by 22 firefighters.

So please accept my sincerest apology. I don’t know what to write about today. I seem to be at a loss for words. Maybe something will come to me by tomorrow.