Closing Arguments

“Now that all of the facts have been verified and presented to the jury, I’m sure I will be able to cobble my closing arguments together pretty quickly,” Daniel Snyder, the assistant DA, told his boss.

“I hope so, Dan, because the jury is going to be sequestered during deliberations and the longer this takes, the worse our chances for a guilty verdict get,” Elliot Harwood said. “Just make sure you can effectively bridge any potential gaps for the jury in your closing statement.”

“I’ve got it all laid out,” Dan said. “It’s not a slam dunk, but I think my approach is solid and the law is obviously on our side. The jury members will see that clearly.”

“That’s why I’ve got you at the top of my ADA rotation, Dan,” the Manhattan District Attorney said, “and I’m counting on you to bring a guilty verdict home. I’d hate to have to bench you if you lose this case. I won’t hesitate to reassign you from Manhattan office to the Bronx. And that’s not where you want to spend the rest of your career, is it, Dan?”

“I’ve got this, Elliot,” Dan said, hoping the beads of perspiration forming on his forehead would escape Elliot’s notice.

Written for these daily prompts: E.M.’s Random Word Prompt (verified), My Vivid (will), Your Daily Word Prompt (cobble), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (sequestered), Ragtag Daily Prompt (bridge), The Daily Spur (approach), and Word of the Day Challenge (rotation).

Weekend Writing Prompt — Impromptu

They called me up to the stage
Asked me to say a few words
I wasn’t expecting it
I didn’t plan for it
I didn’t have any prepared remarks
It was unscripted
Completely offhand
From the hip
Totally spontaneous
My impromptu speech
Got a standing ovation

(Exactly 48 words)

Written for Sammi Cox’s Weekend Writing Prompt, where the word is “impromptu” in exactly 48 words. Photo credit: iStock.

Fibbing Friday — On Saturday

Frank (aka PCGuy) and Di (aka Pensitivity101) alternate as hosts for Fibbing Friday, a silly little exercise where we are to write a post with our answers to the ten questions below. But as the title suggests, truth is not an option. The idea is to fib a little, a lot, tell whoppers, be inventive, silly, or even outrageous, in our responses. This week was Frank’s turn, but he’s MIA, so Di stepped up and she wants to know…

1. What did the couch say to the toilet? Please don’t squeeze the Charmin.

2. What caused the last traffic jam in town? An accident causing a truckload of fresh strawberries to be spilled in the street.
3. What really powers the Internet? Egos.
4. What is really between Trump’s ears? Orange marmalade.
5. What is in the heart of Africa? Ebola
6. What was the last meal eaten in the Garden of Eden? A bowl of Apple Jacks cereal.

7. Who built the pyramids in the Yucatan? The Yucatanians.
8. What is the highest form of flattery? A reblog.
9. Speakeasies were not secret bars, what were they? FBI interrogation rooms.
10. Alcatraz isn’t a prison, what is it really? A tourist attraction in the middle of the San Francisco Bay.
11. What is in hamburger? A ménage-à-trois involving pigs.
12. What is the real question and answer to number #12? What comes between 11 and 13 and is divisible by the numbers 2, 3, 4, and 6?

SoCS — All in the Family

For this week’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt, Linda G. Hill asks us to post a phrase our mom/dad/grandparent/sibling used all the time when we were growing up.

My childhood is a bit of a blur and I can’t remember too many phrases that members of my family would regularly use. Maybe that was because I didn’t pay too much attention to what my parents or my two older sisters said to me when I was a kid. That could also be why I do seem to remember my mother saying to me, “If I told you once, I told you a thousand times….”

My mother, bless her heart, was a world-class worrier. Every time I went out of the house, she’d remind me to be careful. And my father would look at me, smile, and say, “And if you can’t be careful, be good.” I later found out that the actual expression was, “Be good, and if you can’t be good, be careful.” That actually made more sense to me. Live and learn, right?

Speaking of my father, he tended to take old adages and flip them around. Like when he would tell me, “Do unto others before they do unto you.” Another favorite of his was, “Remember, son, Jesus saves, but Moses invests.” My old man was quite an inspiration.

The phrase I most remember hearing from my older sisters was, “you’re such a brat.” I think I was around ten when “brat” was replaced by “asshole.”

But I got even with them by sneaking into their bedrooms with a pair of scissors when they weren’t home and cutting very strategically placed holes in their bras and panties. That’s what you get when you call your kid brother a brat.

Blogging Anonymously

In case you didn’t know it, my real name is not Fandango. It’s a pseudonym, a nom de plume, a pen name, a handle, a nickname, an alias, a pet name. I use it exclusively for my blog because I wish to be anonymous.

Why do I want to blog anonymously? Good question. My blog is like my house. One that I’ve built with years of sweat equity and I’m proud of it. It’s my bliss. But I choose to keep my true identity secret because I want to protect this house that I’ve built. It’s not because I have a sense of entitlement. It for my own protection. Let me explain.

As a reminder, I will, upon occasion, go on a brisk tirade about some controversial topics, like sex, religion, or politics, and such rants might anger or upset a few folks. By keeping my blog anonymous, I can sleep better at night knowing that no one is going to be able to find me and firebomb my home.

Furthermore, I can feel free to comment on other bloggers’ posts without fear of being identified and having someone hire a hit man to end me for having cast aspersions about their beliefs, perspectives, opinions, thoughts, or even their very existence. In this day and age, such a drastic action seems to be one way people respond to others who express ideas they don’t share.

But I don’t always come across like a screaming banshee on my blog. Some of my posts can be rather pedestrian. Dare I say even boring?

So there you have it. That’s why you know me only as Fandango. And let me just add that I wrote this post not to bilk you, my readers, but just for fun so that I could in fit in a bunch of daily prompt words. Because that’s how Fandango rolls. And that’s the way it should be — for those of us who want to blog anonymously.

This utterly ridiculous post was written for these daily prompts: Word of the Day Challenge (anonymous/bliss), The Daily Spur (house/entitlement ), My Vivid Blog (sweat/brisk), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (reminder/pedestrian), Your Daily Word Prompt (tirade/bilk), E.M.’s Random Word Prompt (comment/aspersions), and Ragtag Daily Prompt (banshee).