This, That, and the Other

“That is not only a slur on my good name, it’s also a total fabrication,” the political said. “You reporters have a proclivity toward sensationalism for clickbait or to get people to buy your printed newspapers. This is a dangerous game you’re playing and it’s not at all pertinent.”

“Sir,” the reporter said, “can you explain why you paid for sex with a fifteen year old girl?”

“I’m perfectly capable of explaining that,” he said. “I was attending my niece’s wedding and it was a very muggy day. This very attractive young woman came up to me and said she was just so hot and uncomfortable and she would love a dip in the pool. So I accompanied her to the pool, but I had no idea that she would strip her clothes off and go skinny-dipping.”

“And yet you removed all of your clothes and joined her in the pool, where you had sex with her even though she was only fifteen,” the reporter said.

“Have you seen the body on that girl?” the politician asked. “If she was only fifteen, I was the victim of her witch’s sorcery. She seduced me.”

“And then, after you had sex with her,” the reporter said, “you paid her $500.”

“That wasn’t payment for sex,” the politician said. “It was a largesse for funding her education. I was being very gracious.”

“Sir, you really should mend your ways if you wish to be re-elected,” the reporter suggested.

“Nonsense,” the politician said. “I’m bulletproof. I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody and not lose any voters.”

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Written for these daily prompts: Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (slur/fabrication), E.M.’s Random Word Prompt (proclivity/largresse), The Daily Spur (print/muggy), Word of the Day Challenge (dangerous/pertinent), My Vivid Blog (explain/capable), Ragtag Daily Prompt (wedding/gracious), and Your Daily Word Prompt (sorcery/mend).