What I Learned in College

When I was in college, I was often asked what I was studying. Being somewhat of a wiseass, I would occasionally respond with, “Underwater basket weaving.”

I was really shocked when some girl I said that to commented, “Really, that’s so interesting. How do you actually do that?” she asked.

I decided to run with it. “Well,” I said, “I take thin, narrow strips of wood and interlace them, or weave them, in order to construct a basket.”

“And you do that underwater?” she asked.

“Yes,” I said, trying to keep a straight face. “That makes the strips of wood more pliant so they are less likely to snap or chip.”

“That’s amazing,” she said. “How much time does it take to weave a whole basket?”

I reached over to a rattan basket for my bicycle that my sister gave me for Christmas this past year. “This took me about a week,” I said.

“So can you actually make a living at underwater basket weaving?”

Correct,” I said. I couldn’t believe she was buying this bullshit. “So far my baskets have gotten a great reception in the marketplace.”

“I’m so impressed,” she said. “I never even knew that someone could major in underwater basket weaving.”

“As the eponymous founder of the American Underwater Weaving Association, Walter Weaver, said, ‘There’s no weaving like underwater weaving,’ which has become the official liturgy of the AUWA.”

“That makes me so hot,” she said. “Let’s go have sex.”

And that’s when I knew that I’d have a great career as a politician.

Written for these daily prompts: Ragtag Daily Prompt (interlace), The Daily Spur (chip), My Vivid Blog (time), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (correct), Word of the Day Challenge (reception), Your Daily Word Prompt (eponym), and E.M.’s Random Word Prompt (liturgy).

17 thoughts on “What I Learned in College

  1. Gr8BigFun April 28, 2022 / 4:09 pm

    🤣🤣🤣 I remember going to Florida for March break and as Canadians I couldn’t bieve how many college women we had believing we were penguin farmers. It was quite seriously the best pickup line ever!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Fandango April 28, 2022 / 8:24 pm

      Seems the more outrageous the lie, the more people believe it. Look at Donald Trump!

      Liked by 2 people

  2. bushboy April 28, 2022 / 4:41 pm

    Excellent interweaving of the prompts Fandango. Thanks for joining in 🙂 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Lou Carreras April 28, 2022 / 4:58 pm

    I wonder if we are distantly related…are bullshit seems…so similar…

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Lauren April 29, 2022 / 12:57 am

    I remember the retort about underwater basket weaving from my childhood. I haven’t heard that one in decades.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Nope, Not Pam April 29, 2022 / 4:21 am

    That made me laugh 😂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. JT Twissel April 29, 2022 / 11:54 am

    You should have said you were getting a degree in stand up comedy!!!😆

    Liked by 1 person

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  9. Marleen May 2, 2022 / 8:42 am

    We read “The Grapes of Wrath” and “Of Mice and Men” in high school. Then we go to college to learn to stick our heads in the sand in order to come out on top or (such as with a corporate VP or director) kissing up to the one (s) on top.

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