Oh, If Looks Could Kill

“I can’t believe that you ordered venison for dinner,” my wife said. “We have deer in our backyard and they are such beautiful, graceful animals.”

“First of all,” I said, “deer belong in the pristine wilderness, not in our backyard. Second of all, they are eating all of our plants, shrubs, and trees and killing them. So if they can eat all of my expensive plants, I can eat them.”

“You’re ridiculous,” she said. “It’s people like you who eat innocent animals that will be the reason deer will become extinct. You’re heartless.”

“I’m not a hunter, but left unchecked, deer will overrun the areas they inhabit, resulting in an adverse effect on the ecosystem,” I said. “So it’s important to properly facilitate and manage the size of the herd.”

“Didn’t you ever watch “Bambi”? It was heartbreaking when the hunters shot Bambi’s mother. I know you think this will sound a bit quirky, but I’m going to start a petition to ban the shooting of deer.”

“Not quirky,” I said, “ridiculous. Bambi was a Disney cartoon. But hey, do your thing, sweetheart. I’m going to finish this delicious cut of venison. Wanna bite?

Oh, If looks could kill! I thought

Written for these daily prompts: E.M.’s Random Word Prompt (venison), Word of the Day Challenge (pristine), The Daily Spur (wilderness), Your Daily Word Prompt (facilitate), My Vivid Blog (quirky), and Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (petition).

Note from Fandango: I’ve never eaten venison. The person in this story is not me. The photo above, however, was taken in my backyard.

Throwback Thursday — Learning to Swim

Maggie, at From Cave Walls, and Lauren, at LSS Attitude of Gratitude, alternate hosting Throwback Thursday. The idea of the prompt is for them to give us a topic and for us to write a post in which we share our own memories or experiences about the given topic. This week, Lauren chose the topic of “Going to the Movies.”

Lauren simply wants to know how, when, where, and why did you learn to swim?

I was debating about whether or not to respond to this prompt because, quite honestly, there wasn’t anything interesting about my learning how to swim. Nothing funny or tragic, entertaining or engaging about how I learned to swim.

We used to swim at a community pool when I was a kid and I would go there just about every weekend during the summer. I didn’t really know how to swim, but I loved being in the water and splashing around. My older sisters often came to the pool, too. Apparently one of the lifeguards had a big crush on one of my sisters and she asked him if would teach me to swim. Rumor has it that she hinted that she would “put out” for him if he succeeded. I guess he was motivated because by the end of that weekend I was swimming like a fish.

Did she actually put out for him? Hey, she was my big sister. I’ll never tell!

I Have Deep Pockets

Aren’t you happy for me? Sounds wonderful, right? Well, unfortunately it’s not what it sounds like. Let me explain.

I went to the dentist yesterday for the first time in almost three years (thank you COVID) and the news wasn’t good. I had a significant tartar accumulation, especially around my bottom front teeth. I also have a cavity filling that is deteriorating and needs to be replaced. But if that’s not enough, also have what the dentist referred to as “deep pockets,” also known as “periodontal pockets.”

When there is plaque or tartar around or below the gum, it starts to pull away, creating a deeper pocket due to inflammation and swelling from the bacteria. This is when the gum starts to have “pockets” deeper than three millimeters, which indicate some form of gum disease.

The dental hygienist used some sort of medieval torture instrument to measure my pockets and most of them were in the four to five millimeter range, with an occasional six millimeter pocket just for good measure.

The hygienist spent nearly an hour torturing me in order to clean away most of the tartar on and around my teeth, but I have to go back in two weeks two have part two of the cleaning and for a remeasuring of my pockets. And also to have that decomposing filling replaced.

I can hardly wait!

L is for Labyrinth

For this year’s A-To-Z Challenge, my theme is MOVIES. I will be working my way through the alphabet during the month of April with movie titles and short blurbs about each movie. Today’s movie is “Labyrinth.”

“Labyrinth” was a 1986 British-American fantasy film, directed by Jim Henson, produced by George Lucas, and starring David Bowie and Jennifer Connelly. The movie was a dark, semi-musical, glam-rock children’s movie that seems to combine The Wizard of Oz and a Maurice Sendak story and starred David Bowie plus a cavalcade of puppets.

At the time of its release, “Labyrinth” was a technical marvel. Henson relied almost entirely on practical effects, building the creatures and sets and including almost no computer animation. The Hoggle puppet alone involved 18 motors and a four-person team. That reliance on physical materials rather than computers means that, while some aspects of “Labyrinth” seem dated, the world inside its maze has aged rather well.

The film is about a petulant teenager, Sarah (Jennifer Connelly at 14) with an active imagination. She lives in a fantasy world but is constantly being dragged back down to earth by the dreary realities of her life, including her perpetually wailing baby half-brother, Toby. One night while babysitting, Sarah wishes to the “goblin king” that Toby would disappear — and he does, earning Sarah a visit from the actual Goblin King (David Bowie).

The Goblin King, whose name is Jareth, transports Sarah to his labyrinth and gives her 13 hours to find her way to his castle and rescue her brother. Jareth threatens that if she fails, Toby will become a goblin forever.

Guarding his castle is the labyrinth itself, a twisted maze of deception, populated with outrageous characters and unknown dangers. To get through it in time to save Toby, Sarah must make her way through the maze. She encounters a lot strange residents within the labyrinth and ultimately befriends the Goblins, in hopes that their loyalty isn’t just another illusion in a place where nothing is as it seems. Along the way, Sarah learns important lessons about friendship, independence, and the misfortune of being attracted to an older man in very tight pants.

Though the movie initially flopped, it has become a cult classic. Critics praised Bowie’s performance. The New York Times wrote that Bowie was “perfectly cast as the teasing, tempting seducer whom Sarah must both want and reject in order to learn the labyrinth’s lessons, and his songs add a driving, sensual appeal.”

On a personal note, this was one of my then young daughter’s favorite movies. It still is, actually, and she’s 42 now.

Previous A2Z 2022 posts: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

FOWC with Fandango — Petition


It’s April 14, 2022. Welcome to Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (aka, FOWC). I will be posting each day’s word just after midnight Pacific Time (U.S.).

Today’s word is “petition.”

Write a post using that word. It can be prose, poetry, fiction, non-fiction. It can be any length. It can be just a picture or a drawing if you want. No holds barred, so to speak.

Once you are done, tag your post with #FOWC and create a pingback to this post if you are on WordPress. Please check to confirm that your pingback is there. If not, please manually add your link in the comments.

And be sure to read the posts of other bloggers who respond to this prompt. Show them some love.