Weekend Quickie — April ‘22 #1

In what is now a weekly prompt, Rory has a new batch of Weekend Quickie questions for us to ponder.

How effective are willy warmers for keeping the chill out?

Not effective at all. Due to a phenomenon known as “shrinkage,” when a willy gets chilly, it tends to get smaller, as if attempting to recede back into the body for warmth. Thus, willy warmers fall off the willy when it’s chilly. That’s science, man.

Have you ever ignited a bottom breeze?

What adolescent male hasn’t ignited a fart at least once in his life? As The Rolling Stones once sang, “It’s a gas, gas, gas.”

If you had to have one hand tied behind your back for one day a week for the rest of your life which one would it be and why?

My left hand. It’s close to useless.

How many cabbage leaves does it take to turn on the average human?

Say what? Cabbage leaves are a turn on? Who knew?

How old is too old and what is too old anyway?

I’ll let you know when I get there.

Are you a bubble wrapper popper?

I used to be, but it frightens my dog and annoys my wife, so not anymore.

Is it legal to paint a tree in the wild?

I don’t think I’ve ever heard or read of any laws saying that it’s illegal to paint a tree in the wild, but at my age, I rarely go in the wild anymore, so who knows?

Why is the color red used to describe love and passion?

Because red provokes the strongest emotions of any color. It is considered the warmest of the colors and, being linked to passion and love as well as power and anger, it has more emotional associations than any other color. That’s why all of my willy warmers are red.

How many banned books have you ever read and what were they?

I don’t know if it was actually banned, but I remember as a young teenager getting my hands on a book called The Story of O, which was a French erotic novel (the copy I had was translated to English). All I remember is that it was about a woman named O who was into oral sex.

What is the most unusual drink you have ever drunk when sober?

When I lived in Texas, the non-alcoholic beverage of choice seemed to be Dr Pepper. It wasn’t at all unusual in Texas, but it was (and I assume, still is) awful.

Bonus Question
Who said, “Oh man, what are you doing with a gun in space?” And who were they talking to?

I was going to say that it was one of the lyrics in the song “Space Cowboy” from the Steve Miller band, but then I Googled the lyrics and it’s not in there.

17 thoughts on “Weekend Quickie — April ‘22 #1

  1. Lou Carreras April 2, 2022 / 12:43 pm

    Now that you mention it I’ve tried lots of “botanicals”, but if I tried cabbage it’s lost to me…hmmm.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Lauren April 2, 2022 / 8:53 pm

    These were strange ones for sure. I never knew cabbage leaves were a turn on either. LOL

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Marlapaige April 2, 2022 / 10:48 pm

    I love your play on words throughout this. These questions are so very odd, and your answers were so good that I wasn’t sure if they were serious answers or just fun nonsense. That’s the best kind of answer! Leave the audience wondering… makes them think about it longer!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. aguycalledbloke April 2, 2022 / 11:21 pm

    Good answers Fandango – the bonus question is from the 1998 film Armageddon, willy warmers can have the adverse reaction as you state yep but different if too tight. I too have read The Story of O and it was banned pretty quickly here in the UK in the mid fifties but so too a few other countries as well due to the supposed obscenity factors associated with oral sex. It was also made into a film in the mid 70’s.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Fandango April 3, 2022 / 5:20 am

      I think it was banned in the U.S., too. I never saw the movie.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Nope, Not Pam April 3, 2022 / 3:14 am

    Willy warmers seem to come up in my conversations quite often 🙄

    Liked by 1 person

  6. leigha66 May 3, 2022 / 11:06 pm

    These were great answers Fandango… very thorough answer about the willy warmers. Ha, ha, ha!

    Liked by 1 person

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