I contacted a guy who came highly recommended to be a ghostwriter for my autobiography. I sat through hours of being interviewed by him and was persuaded that he was capable, so I offered him the job. He said to give him three months.
Sure enough, at the three-month mark, the ghostwriter showed up with his first draft. I eagerly opened the box containing the manuscript and started reading. After about ten minutes I looked up at the ghostwriter and said, “This is not about me. What the hell is this?”
“It’s an autobiography,” he said. “Didn’t you hire me to write an autobiography?”
“Yes, you imbecile,” I screamed. “But I didn’t I hire you to ghostwrite your own autobiography. I hired you to ghostwrite mine.
“Oh,” he said. “I guess I misunderstood what you meant when you said you wanted me to write an autobiography, which, by definition, is an account of a person’s life written by that person.”
“You idiot,” I said. I threw his manuscript at him and said, “You’re fired.”
“Wait,” he said, “are you giving me the boot and not paying me for three months of hard work?”
“I’m giving you the boot figuratively speaking,” i said, “but if you don’t leave here immediately, I’m going to literally shove my boot up your ass.”
Written for Scott’s Daily Prompt (ghostwriter) and Weekly Prompts Weekend Challenge (boot).