“You’re being facetious, right?” Debbie said to me. “How can you not like cats? They’re so adorable and lovable, and whenever you come over here, you always make a fuss over my three cats, Princess, Chester, and Isadora.”
“I never said that I don’t like cats,” I said defensively. “It’s just that I’m not an ailurophile, like you. I don’t flaunt my feelings about cats in the same way you do. You’re a bit over-the-top, you know?”
“I get the distinct impression that there’s more to this discussion than meets the eye. So let’s just drop the bullshit and probe a bit deeper, shall we?” Debbie said.
“Fine, let’s do that, Debbie,” I said. “You have an unhealthy obsession with cats. Look at this place. All of the art on your walls are cat drawings, paintings, photos. You have porcelain cat figurines on every hard surface. You have cat wallpaper in your bedroom, a cat quilt on your bed, which is on top of cat sheets. Your throw pillows all have cute little cats on them. You have a designer litter box and you spend more on cat food than you do on your own food. Your favorite earrings are those stupid cats sitting on crescent moons. There’s cat fur all over everything in your apartment. And to be brutally honest, your apartment stinks of cat urine.”
Debbie started sobbing. “If that’s the way you feel, you can just get your coat and leave. I never want to see you again.
“Fine,” I said, “I’m out of here. I just hope you come to your senses, Debbie, before you end up being called the crazy, old cat lady in apartment 3B.”
Written for these daily prompts: JusJoJan (facetious), My Vivid Blog (ailurophile), Word of the Day Challenge (flaunt), Your Daily Word Prompt (distinct), The Daily Spur (drop), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (probe), E.M.’s Random Word Prompt (crescent), and Ragtag Daily Prompt (coat). Earrings photo from Pinterest.
It’s been a week since we put our beloved cat down. I’m not an ailurophile, like Debbie in this story, but I so miss my cute and cuddly (most of the time) little rescue cat.